go brain, go!

The Curse

2011-04-25T16:05:00.004-05:00

(Pardon these rambles, please. I'm not really interested in polished essays. My whole objective is to barf my thoughts out of my head and onto this blog before they disappear forever.)

Cheerwine: Born in the South. Raised in a glass.

Yesterday was Easter. Resurrection Sunday. In a fit of seasonal mirth, I tweeted:

THE TOMB IS EMPTY! So today we go from darkness to light; from mourning to laughing; from fasting to feasting! Jesus lifted the curse!

Never have I felt more involved and engaged in the celebration of Resurrection as I did this year.
We spent the morning celebrating with Ecclesia at Jones Plaza in downtown Houston. It was a huge celebration where people filled the air with their voices, shared amazing food, listened to teaching, made art for worship, and celebrated communion and baptism together. Like families do. All at an outdoor pavilion under a partly cloudy sky and an amazing breeze. It was one of the best Easter Sunday experiences of my life. But I don't think it was the reason I understood Easter better this year.

I think the real reason is Lent.
This year for Lent Abby and I gave up drinking anything but water and brewed coffee. I wanted to give up something that would hurt. Since I really hate drinking water, but know I need more of it, I decided that eliminating all my other choices would be both beneficial and sacrificial for me. The coffee thing was because - COME ON! (It's not like it's a competitor with water. You want them at separate times to accomplish separate things.)

If you're unfamiliar with Lent, it's the 40 day season of fasting that Begins on Ash Wednesday and leads up to Resurrection Sunday. Christians give up doing or eating something they love.You're smart if you realize that between Ash Wednesday and Easter there were (are) actually about 46 days. That's because Sundays (technically speaking, Sabbath days) are considered celebration days, feast days, or mini-Easters. You break your fast on those days. (By the way -if you're the type of person who brags about how they don't observe the celebration days during Lent, then I don't want to know you. You are clearly missing the point, and probably the thing you're giving up clearly doesn't hurt badly enough.)

In the past, I had always played fast and loose with celebration days. I would make bargains like, "Well, I have a friend in from out of town on Friday and we're going out to eat. So I'll make Friday my Sabbath, and use my "celebration day" to have a Dr. Pepper at Chili's/ Sweet Tea at Cracker Barrel/ Bellini Peach Tea at Olive Garden. Then I will fast on Sunday while everyone else is celebrating."
What a loser thing to do. It's completely self-serving, and is probably worse than not celebrating the feast days at all. So this year - I decided to actually employ some self-discipline and sacrifice (a novel idea) and play by the rules. And THAT has made all the difference.

Drinking water at a restaurant SUCKS. Not because their water is bad, but because Dr. Pepper and Sweet Tea are SO GOOD. If they weren't, free refills wouldn't be so expensive. Some things you eat are just meant to be paired with something specific to drink. My wife says that for me, this is all-too-often chocolate milk. (My inappropriate use of chocolate milk is another blog post altogether.) But this year, there were days when I would sit drinking a nice tall glass of water and think - "Man, Jesus, I love you so much!" with a really sour, crappy look on my face. Which, I guess is kind of the point - to allow me to participate with Christ in suffering and death, so that I can more fully participate in his resurrection!

But what struck me yesterday was this:
For 40 days I lived under a law. A (if you ask me) needlessly oppressive law. A law that I was pretty sure was actually good for me to follow. A law that I was sure would draw me closer to God. Well, guess what? Life under the law SUCKED. Meals became mundane. Thirsty was a feeling I actually came to dread because of the resulting anti-climax. But I kept telling myself that I was pleasing God because of all the things I didn't do. But I felt like I was under a curse. I was suffering. And suffering for righteousness is good, right? It builds character. Makes you a better person than you were before. Right? RIGHT?
I don't know, but I do know this: Suffering is the mother of hope. What suffering did for me was cause me to look forward to Sundays in a way I never ever ever had before (Yes, I realize I am a Christian, a minister, a pastor. Just never a very good one.) I couldn't wait for those little glimpses of freedom that rolled around every 144 hours (but who's counting?) Not only that - it created an ABSOLUTE LONGING for the day when I was rid of the law once and for all. When yesterday finally arrived, and the celebration of the Resurrection of Christ threw open the doors to a freedom I had been hoping for and expecting - I got absolutely staggering, stumble around, take my car-keys drunk on NOT-WATER.
(Disclaimer: No, I didn't actually get drunk on anything that could get you drunk. Seriously - you have GOT to know me better than that. Also, it kind of pisses me off a little that I have to write something like that, or that I think I have to write something like that. NEUROSES!)

In 46 days I lived a little microcosm of all of human history. I lived a life that was under a curse (that I, directly or indirectly, was responsible for), and bound by a law because of it. I longed for someone who could come and take it away. I saw occasional glimpses of an impending hope that it would one day be removed. And finally, miraculously, gloriously, through no work of my own -one day the law no longer applied, and I went from accursed to completely free forever.

The final, interesting thought about it is how I instinctively responded to this freedom. In addition to drinking freely from it in huge, choking draughts, I felt compelled to share it. For the Ecclesia Easter Celebration, Abby and I loaded a cooler full of all kinds of soft drinks and gave them away to anybody that walked by. Now that we were free to drink all the soda we wanted, we resolved that nobody who crossed our path would ever have to be deprived of it either. And now every time I drink it - It's a celebration, and a remembrance of exactly what it took to win that freedom for me.

And that, my friends, will preach.

.

Regrets

2011-04-21T11:51:00.003-05:00

Talent Show

2011-04-16T02:39:00.001-05:00

Went to a talent show tonight to see the daughter of a friend of ours perform. This girl LOVES Abby and we love to support her. She goes to a little charter school near our house that is really quite cool. Here she is singing a song by Bruno Mars.

As you can see, she's quite sassy. She actually took 2nd place for this performance.
Which means BOY OH BOY do you want to see the video of the first place kid. You are definitely NOT going to be disappointed with this:

Right? RIGHT!?

New Leaf

2011-04-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

Go brain, go! is back. No more layout changes for a while, I promise. Unless, of course, I find out that some famous pedophile or politician has the same one. Then maybe. Maybe.

The truth is, I need to start keeping track of my thoughts again. I would really love to do it in pencil in a cool leather-and-hemp-bound journal, but i think faster than I can write, so typing is more honest. And that's the direction in which I want this thing to head. I want to live life with more transparency. I want to integrate my two selves. I'm not saying there's a version of me that has been keeping disgusting secrets from all my friends and family for years. But there are little things that I think we all need to be more honest about. Little ways in which we all need to stop pretending. For example - it's a little suspect for a 33 year old man who is unemployed and keeps a blog to call himself "theboy1der". Yet there it is in my blog address, my Twitter ID, and my email address. Anyway - it's not like I'm about to change all those things, I just need to be honest about it. I need to talk about the things that sometimes people are reluctant to talk to people about. Confession being good for the soul, and all. Sunlight being the best disinfectant, you know.

I realize that being honest and vulnerable opens you up to being taken advantage of by less scrupulous people. It's happened to me before. It will likely happen to me again. I don't consider that a reason to be less honest. The fact is, every time we lie (to ourselves or others) we create an alternate reality. We add another reality to actual reality, and we have to live in all those other realities with their troubles, too. Frankly, I'm too lazy for that. I have enough trouble with the world that's actually real to worry about the troubles in all the worlds I made up. Actual J.T. doesn't want to have to be bothered with the problems that fake J.T. presents.

What that means is that I'll probably say some things here that you probably didn't know about me. Maybe even some things you don't agree with. But sometimes putting them on the record is my way of seeing whether I actually believe them or not. I pick up ideas. I play around with them. I put them back down. Sometimes I keep them. This is annoying to some people. But I want to "be ready to die today for what I know to be true - and be ready tomorrow to call it falsehood." And to do that, I need to start working through what I think is true about me, and the world.

This should be fun! Either that, or it could be Sheen-style self-destruction. I guess we'll have to see!

Grace + Peace

The Great Christmas Caper 2010 - Eve

2010-12-24T20:58:00.001-06:00

Part the 6th:
Abby made a video - Christmas Eve Errands.

The Great Christmas Caper 2010 - Anniversary

2010-12-24T20:56:00.001-06:00

Part the 5th:
Our date night, and first-impression reviews of True Grit

The Great Christmas Caper 2010 - Arrival

2010-12-23T11:11:00.003-06:00

Part the 4th:

The Great Christmas Caper 2010 - Dallas!

2010-12-23T11:08:00.004-06:00

Part the 3rd:
My favorite video so far.

Great Christmas Caper 2010 - Buc-ees!!

2010-12-23T11:04:00.003-06:00

Part the 2nd
Take 1:

Take 2:

Man, I love me some Buc-ees!

The Great Christmas Caper 2010!!

2010-12-23T10:21:00.006-06:00

Part the 1st - Departure!

Brought to you by Flip!

(brought to me by Mom and Dad Thomas!)

Guatemala, Day 1 - Vista Real Nice

2010-08-24T01:37:00.000-05:00

9:15 p.m. - Landed in Guatemala City, Guatemala with a great group of folks from Lead 222 and Compassion International. Flight was pretty bad, for the same reason I hate roller coasters. Turbulence, some zero gravity moments - no kidding.

Man, if you ever get a chance to take a trip with Compassion International - DO IT.
They really do things right! You should see this hotel they've put us up in!
In fact, take a look.
Seriously. I don't think I've ever set foot in a place this nice - EVER.
I don't think I've seen a place this nice on TV or in movies, either.
This is my room:

20 foot ceilings. Hundreds of pillows.
That guy over there? That's my roommate, Taco. Yes, TACO.

He's a youth guy in Magnolia, TX. We're just about the only 2 guys from the Houston Area. Some folks are from as far away as Traverse City, Michigan and Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
Here's some schwag that Compassion had left for us in our rooms when we checked in:

That's a sweet handmade journal, a weird cloth lady, and some kind of candy. Oh, and some bottled water (not pictured) because, you know.
They also had all our room keys ready for us, with a sticker right on it that had our pre-paid wireless internet username and password! Thanks Compassion!
I wish I could get Compassion to plan and book my next vacation! Get right on that, guys...
Well, I imagine tomorrow's visit to a Compassion Project will be in stark contrast to the luxury we are enjoying tonight. Here's hoping there's some joy to be had with the arrival of 20 gringos.

More to come...

slurrrrp Ahhhhh!

2010-05-21T11:09:00.000-05:00

This is my coffee cup.
Ain't she a beauty?

As you can see - it's a Batman coffee cup.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
It lives on my desk at work, and helps me get through the hours by providing a more-than-average-amount of hot, black, sweet coffee a couple of times a day.
Sometimes I don't finish all my coffee, and I leave it sitting on the desk overnight with cold coffee inside of it.
Sometimes that leaves a ring of coffee around the bottom part of my cup, but I don't care.
I rinse it out with cold - yes COLD - water. I don't even use dish soap.
It's like how when you get a new cast-iron skillet, it's not really good for cooking until it's been seasoned - until it's gotten the crusted crud of a hundred meals burned into its bottom and sides.
It gives the coffee a flavor all its own.
A flavor that can't be reproduced in a stupid styrofoam cup. (PLEASE.)
I'm convinced that's why my grandmother's coffee tastes better than any coffee I've ever had.
It's not the coffee - it's the cup.

I've had this cup for quite a long time now.
Almost 10 years, I'd say.
If I remember correctly, Abby bought this cup for me after we had broken up the first time, and we were just friends. I think she got it at Astroworld in Houston which doesn't exist anymore.
This coffee cup is a freakin' one-of-a-kind unique collectors item, man!
In it's 10-year tour of duty with me, this coffee cup has seen some stuff, man.
If this coffee cup could talk.... well, I'd probably be a rich man, because hey- a talking coffee cup!
But seriously, it'd probably have some really great stories.

Sure, I've used other coffee cups from time to time.
At other people's houses, and at my own.
But no coffee cup has ever been so singularly mine as ol' Batman.
Since I'm clumsy and tend to knock stuff over and drop stuff - I rarely keep breakable things for very long.
Which is why I'm proud to extol the virtues of Batman - the miracle cup.
Here's to 10 more caffeinated years old chum!

Jonah - Parable, Myth, Allegory or Truth?

2010-05-20T14:49:00.000-05:00

I'm not saying it couldn't happen.
I'm not saying it didn't happen.
Alls I'm saying is - there's no way to prove it happened or didn't happen.
And all things being equal - isn't the simplest explanation the best one? (Thank you, Mr. Occam)
It seems more likely that a man was NOT swallowed for 3 days by a big Mediterranean fish and subsequently vomited up onto dry land.

The only defense ever offered by my Seminary professors is that Jesus mentions Jonah - rather the Sign of Jonah - in Matthew 12:38-41.
Since Jesus mentions it, he says, it must have happened.
He says that if Jesus had compared his resurrection to a fable, or a fictional event, it could be argued that the resurrection itself was a fictional event.
(Surprise! This is what some people say anyway.)
Well, I'm not buying it.
Jesus could just have easily cited a fictional situation with which his audience was already familiar.

What if I say - "Man, seminary is tough for me! I feel like Sisyphus, who every day pushed the boulder up the steep hill, only to have it roll back down again every night. Every semester I do all this work and finally finish, only to have it start all over again the next semester."
If I say that seminary is like Sisyphus - who is clearly mythological, does that my work at seminary is mythological? Of course not. To say so would be ridiculous.

Jesus could just have easily have said, "I'm going to be like Rocky! I'm gonna take such a beating that you'll think it's all over - but you're not going to believe my comeback after that!"
Rocky is fictional. Does that mean that Jesus took fictional beating? Of course not. To say so would be ridiculous.
Likewise, if Jesus compares himself to Rocky, it doesn't make Rocky an actual guy, or his story a true story.

It seems more likely that Jonah was an actual prophet, who likely prophesied to the people of Nineveh, possibly even leading to their repentance. But around the actual prophet Jonah - there sprung up a legend that through the oral tradition (that we KNOW existed) became bigger than the man himself. Like Paul Revere. Or Johnny Appleseed. Or maybe like George Washington chopping down the cherry tree.

Did it happen, or didn't it?
Does it really matter? Don't you kind of get the point either way?
From Jonah's perspective - Don't try and ignore what God's asking you to do. Also - go out of your way to love the people you ought to hate the most.
From Jesus' perspective - Things are going to go from bad to worse - and then your mind will be absolutely blown. Also - go out of your way to love the people you ought to hate the most.

It's things like this that drive me crazy. It's insisting on sticking to a literal interpretation of stories like this that make us look ridiculous to perfectly intelligent people, and encourage them not to engage with Christ-followers.

Thirsty

2010-05-20T14:14:00.005-05:00

I hate water. Drinking it, I mean. I would rather drink coffee, or Dr. Pepper, or Drano. If I absolutely HAVE to drink water, I'll mix it with some of that powder flavoring or something, so that it's like drinking water without actually drinking it. Recently, for Lent, I gave up drinking anything but water for 40 days.

I hated it.

Rather than bring me closer to God, or cause me to contemplate my lack, or give me a sense of sacrifice, or that I was identifying with Christ in his sufferings, it mostly just pissed me off every time I sat down to a meal. After 40 days of fasting (and on those blessed 6 celebration days during Lent), I immediately went back to drinking other stuff. Much to my surprise, in the days following Lent, I have often had cravings for water. Serious ones. So bad that I've actually had entire glasses or bottles of plain water (the HORROR!) to drink.

They (whoever THEY are) say that most people walk around functionally dehydrated.
None of us is drinking enough water. Sure, we get some in our coffee and our juices and stuff like that, but there's no substitute for clean, clear, pure water. And sometimes we don't know how thirsty we have been until we start to drink.
-------

I hate the Bible. Reading it, I mean. I would rather read websites, magazines or shampoo bottles. If I absolutely HAVE to read the Bible, sometimes I'll read what Max Lucado, Rob Bell, or Donald Miller wrote about it, so that it's like reading the Bible without actually reading it.
Most of us walk around functionally deprived of this, too. Oh, we might get a little bit of it in church or small group or something on TV, but there's no substitute for sitting and reading the wild, raw, naked words of God.

So yesterday I committed myself to a new system for reading the Bible through.
It calls for me to read 10 chapters a day by reading 1 chapter from a series of 10 "lists"

List 1 is the gospels. List 2 is the Torah. List 3 Romans, the Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians and Hebrews. List 4 is the Thessalonians,the Timothys, Titus, Philemon, James, the Peters, the Johns, Jude and Revelation. List 5 is Job, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon. List 6 is Psalms. List 7 is Proverbs. List 8 is Joshua - Esther. List 9 is the rest of the prophets. List 10 is Acts.

When I reach the end of a list (Acts, for example, only has 28 chapters), I just start it over, because I'll still be reading through the others (List 9, the Prophets will take 250 days).
In the end, I'll read through all the gospels 4 times, the Torah twice, Paul's letters 4-5 times each, the OT Wisdom Literature 6 times, the Psalms at least twice, the Proverbs and Acts a dozen times, and all the way through the OT Historical and Prophetic books about 1 1/2 times.

10 chapters might sound like a lot, but it never takes me more than about 30 or 45 minutes. When reading about the Creation story, Job's trials, Christ's birth, the Day of Pentecost, and Paul's introduction to Romans all at the same time, you start to really get a holistic sense of scripture. Scripture commenting on and interpreting itself. I used to marvel at guys I knew who taught from the Lectionary. A schedule that assigns to each Sunday a series of Scriptures that often seem completely unrelated? An OT reading. A Psalm. A Gospel reading. An Epistle. I thought, "How do they write one homily or sermon on 4 unrelated texts?" But in just two days I can see harmonies developing between one or two or three or more of these lists that are just beautiful.

I didn't know how thirsty I was until I started to drink again.

Super Sized Me! (alternatively, "Fatty, Fatty, two-by-four...")

2010-05-11T17:39:00.001-05:00

I'm fat.
Seriously. I need to lose some weight.
I was always a skinny kid. I graduated high school at 115 pounds.--->
In college I worked at Golden Corral and ate 16 oz Sirloins an inch thick for lunch every day.
Hey - they were half price! And did I mention I was 115 pounds?
Then, when I graduated, I had gained about 60 pounds. Not good.
Hard to adjust to being a fat kid after spending SO many years being the disgustingly skinny kid.
One thing remains the same - you keep your shirt on at the swimming pool. Just, for a different reason.
For posterity, and the sake of total humiliation, I'll mention that I have weighed as much as 195.
I'll bet that today I'm around 192 or so.
I'm 5'8".
I don't eat that badly. I don't really move around that much, either, though.
My family has a history of heart disease unto death.
The other side has a history of diabetes and high cholesterol (and male pattern baldness - but I've given up all hope in that arena) - so I'm doubly cursed.
I probably need to lose around 40 or 50 pounds.
Yesterday, Abz and I went to the YMCA to once again renew our workout regimen, only to be told that our previously complimentary (b/c of a relationship with our church) membership had lapsed and would not be renewed. Not for free, anyway.
Now, some people would see that as God letting them off the hook.
Saying, "I got this one. Don't worry - I'll take care of it. Sit back down and watch a couple more seasons of The West Wing. Invite friends!"
Instead we chose to look around for a gym closer to home.
Which we did.
And found a 7 day trial.
Which begins today.
So here I go home to change my clothes so I can get my run on.
While I begin a new season of The West Wing... on my iPod.
God is good.

After that - boiled chicken, steamed vegetables and the antepenultimate episode of LOST!

Free Comic Book Day!

2010-05-01T12:07:00.008-05:00

Today is FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!
Get on down to your local comic shop for a free issue of a comic you would never read otherwise!
Seriously, though - it's always fun, and sometimes my comic shop will give away free movie passes to upcoming movies. I gotta think Bedrock City Comics in Houston is going to have some tickets from Iron Man Screenings locally.

Today we're going to the Post Office to get Abby's passport.
Could be tough - she still hasn't gotten her name changed on her Driver's License. It's only been 3 and a half years. I gotta go and vouch for her. Maybe knock some heads or something.
If she can't get her passport pretty soon, there's no way she's going to be able to get her Brazilian Visa in time for our trip at the end of June.

As I write this, I'm watching Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace on SpikeTV.
I just watched the part where Qui Gonn asks Anakin's mom who his father was.
"There was no father." she says.
"I carried him. I gave birth. I raised him. I can't explain what happened."
That's a part of the mythos that I remember made me think, "Say whaaa!"
I guess he was conceived by midichlorians? A child of the force?
I wonder if Lucas ever wrote Shmi Skywalker's Magnificat?
Anyway - I did a google search and found a bunch of people who think Anakin was "conceived" by Darth Plagueis, who, according to Palpatine's testimony to Anakin in Episode III was the only Sith who was powerful enough to "create life".

This may be the geekiest post I've ever written.

Either way - Soccer!

2010-04-29T17:29:00.006-05:00

A few weeks ago, I was planning a Mission Trip to the eastern coast of Brazil with a group from Copperfield Church - the same trip I went on last year.

To be honest, I wasn't all that excited about going to Brazil again. From the looks of it, hardly anybody else was, either. Only about a dozen people signed up, and even fewer were coming to the prep meetings.

Then, out of the blue, 2 weeks ago our church was invited to bring a group of college students to serve 2 weeks in Haiti as part of the relief efforts going on there through IMBstudents and Mission-Serve. Abby and I would lead, with possibly another adult. Now THAT was something I could get excited about. I scrambled around trying to gauge interest among our college students locally, and those who'd be coming back to town this summer. There was some real energy behind a trip like this. Everyone involved was really inspired. Students were committing right and left to spend 2 weeks sleeping in a tent in the heart of Port-Au-Prince in 90-degree weather and 100% humidity. This mattered.

Two nights ago I got an e-mail from the Project Coordinator for the Haiti trip saying that they had suspended all their operations there, and canceled all the scheduled trips, including ours. Bummer. Apparently, it's really sexy to go to Haiti right now, (which is probably why we were so excited to go) and the place is saturated with volunteers. Not that there's no needs there or anything. There's just no infrastructure for short-term-ers. Which I understand. Security and lodging were issues, as well. I hated having to let everybody down who had been so excited. I wondered if they would think it was my fault for not making it happen. It seems like a disproportional amount of things I try to plan around here end up not making it. Add this one to the list.

So now I'm back on the Brazil-train. Literally, training our students and adults to minister to the students and adults in Maracanau. The Haiti thing was disappointing, but just what I needed to remind me why we were going to Brazil in the first place. We have relationships there. We have boots on the ground already. And having been before, I can help shape the experiences of those who haven't. That should be pretty cool. Oh - also, the church is going to send my wife with me. So that's going to be awesome.

Now, if they would just send my dogs...

New blog rule #1

2010-04-28T16:43:00.004-05:00

All blog posts must be 500 words or fewer.
That last one was 1 word short of 800 words.
If you can't read it without scrolling, I shouldn't be posting it.
Or you should get a bigger monitor.
One or the other.

For example, this one's only 49 words.

2009 - Like Kissing Your Sister

2009-12-31T18:00:00.004-06:00

We probably should have stayed at home. But we didn't.
Instead, Abz and I just got back from a late afternoon trip to Wal-Mart, and WOW - that place was packed. The lines were so long you'd think they were rolling back prices EVERY DAY.

Didn't take me long to figure it out- people were stocking up for parties tonight.
I've never seen crowds of people like that getting ready for New Years Eve, and with the economy the way it's been, I didn't expect the Wal-Mart crowd to have much to celebrate - or much to celebrate with! Then it hit me - that's exactly WHY they're celebrating. In fact, it's a little bit of the reason I'm celebrating, too.
In a whole lot of ways, 2009 kind of sucked.
People are throwing a huge going away party for this year that can't be over soon enough.
Goodbye and good riddance 2009.

But as I pushed my heavier-by-the-minute buggy around the store, I started to think about it.
2009 was probably just like every other year. A little bit up. A little bit down. The problem is, only the really crappy parts stick out in our memories. And I'm not sure that's fair. Yes, some really really crappy things happened. But some really great things also happened.

Early this year, a pregnancy we had been really excited about failed after about 7 weeks.
We were absolutely grief-stricken.
But about 9 months later 4 couples who are absolutely dear to us had little ones of their own, and we got to be there with them all in the hospital!
We were overcome with joy!

Two of my oldest friends got separated and then divorced from their wives this year. Guys I have not been good friends to since I moved away.
However - my only little sister got married this year. A Renaissance wedding.
And I got to write and perform the ceremony - in costume! What an honor.
In fact - I did at least 4 weddings this year (that I know of)!

I didn't get to be with my family for Christmas, but we were there for quite a while at Thanksgiving!

Around March the Batmobile finally died for good. It was the first car I bought by myself, and completely paid off myself.
Wouldn't you know, though - I got a new car! A better car. For a good price.

We bought a house this year! A HOUSE! In THIS economy! And we love it.

Over Spring Break I took some older kids to Dallas, stayed at a great hotel, went to Six Flags, ate at Medieval Times, and really enjoyed learning from each other.
We traveled to Disney World with Andrew and Raine Neilson (and in-utero Big Ben) in May.
We went to North Carolina with the students this Summer.
I got my first passport and spent a week in Brazil teaching, preaching, washing dishes, and being very humbled. My first trip out of the country besides Mexico! Certainly my longest airplane ride.

We dressed as Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler for Fall Festival at Halloween
We dressed as a wizard and a fairy and went to the Renaissance Festival.
We dressed in Victorian garb and ventured down to Dickens on the Strand.

We went to the Baylor game vs. UConn at Floyd Casey Stadium, and they lost.
We went to the LSU game vs. Arkansas at Tiger Stadium - and they won! In overtime!

Michael Jackson died, which actually was kind of jarring to me. He was a formative influence on my life as a kid.
But I also saw Derek Webb, Rob Bell, Muse, and OH HOLY CRAP - U2 in concert. Seriously bucket-list kind of stuff there.

I did NOT get an iPhone or my own copy of Settlers of Catan.

But I'm still alive.
Still married to the greatest girlfriend I've ever had. (We made 3 whole years last week!)
Cash and Pixy are the two greatest, cutest, smartest, snuggliest dogs on the planet.
I still have a job.
My parents are still around. My wife's parents are still around.
I'm relatively healthy - I'm even down a couple of pounds!

God is still better to me than I deserve, and even if he wasn't, could I complain?
Certainly not. I have taken so much good from him, I would gladly take the bad as well.
"The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away - Blessed be the name of the Lord." - Job

I hope your 2009 was epic.
I hope your 2010 is better.

May YHWH bless you and keep you.
May YHWH lift his face upon you.
May YHWH turn his countenance toward you
And give you shalom...

Grace + Peace,
J.T.

Ira Glass-es

2009-10-02T10:24:00.002-05:00

The Menger Sponge

2009-09-14T18:52:00.003-05:00

Our dear friends, Jon and Denise Menger are delivering their first child, Ryan Thomas Menger, at this very moment. C-section style. The whole thing is being chronicled at their blog The Menger Sponge. Check it out.

The World Used To Be Flat

2009-09-02T13:20:00.003-05:00

From Indexed yesterday.

You are bleep the father!

2009-08-24T14:50:00.002-05:00

On no other show is the targeted advertising so blatant (or more confusing) than the Maury show.
It's kind of hilarious, and a little heartbreaking, actually.
Apparently, they assume that the people who watch Maury are the same kind of people who are ON Maury.
They need education - ANY education - fast, in the fields of court reporting, nursing/medical assistance, air conditioning repair, and criminal justice.
They also need lawyers - BAD. They need lawyers for their Social Security benefits, their outstanding IRS liability, and their injuries in motor vehicle accidents.
Lastly - they are diabetics. REALLY OLD ones.

They are age 65-and-over unemployed high-school dropouts who owe the IRS money (for taxes on income they didn't make), who have recently been hurt in an accident, and can't afford their diabetic testing supplies.
NAILED IT!

Also - and if you can believe it, this is actually more ridiculous than the other thing -
I'm pretty sure the producers of the Maury show actually ADD bleeps where none are necessary, in order to make the show seem more scandalous.
For the life of me, I cannot figure out what the *bleep* is being censored on that show most of the time.

Two thumbs "meh"

2009-08-23T22:48:00.002-05:00

So, yeah - just got back from seeing District 9.
When I first saw the trailer a while back I was like, "Meh"...
And then when it came out all the reviews were like, "Whoaa, sweet!"
And then everybody I knew saw it and they were all, "Duuuude!"
So I've been dying to go.
And then tonight on my way to pick up Abz for the movie, I talked to my Dad, and he was like, "Worst. Movie. Ever."
Which really surprised me, so I was really intrigued.
I didn't know what to think.

And now that I've seen it, I'm just like, "Hm. Ok."

After seeing it, one of my friends said that it was an "important movie".
Really?
Can movies be important?
Isn't that really stretching the meaning of the word "important"?
I guess ideas can be important.
Ideas like equality, human (or nonhuman) rights, diplomacy.
Ideas like government, transparency, and State secrets.
But not movies.
And probably not this movie.

Hot Bath vs. Cold Compress

2009-08-22T07:59:00.001-05:00

Lock-in? Over.

Lower back? Seriously injured.

Career path? Very much in question.

Ouch.

5:01 p.m.

2009-08-21T17:19:00.004-05:00

If you ever find me at Panera, or the coffee shop, or in the office past 5p.m. - it's a pretty safe bet what I'm up to:

That's right - Settlers of Catan.
Part of me (and every part of Abz) wishes that Andrew Neilson had never exposed me to the wonders of Catan - but now my innocence has been stolen. There's no going back.

Have you ever played this game?
It's so stinkin' addictive. And I have such a hard time getting people together to play that I started playing online. Thank goodness it's free, or I would either be broke or divorced.

Your assignment: Go download the client right now, feed your own Catan addiction, and play with me. No kidding.

It's not the years, it's the mileage....

2009-08-21T16:52:00.003-05:00

I've got one of those crazy Youth Ministry overnight events tonight.
We're joining with a couple of other churches (Hi, Cory!) to play Broomball at a local ice rink until 1:15, then coming back to our church to play an especially violent version of Dodgeball in the sanctuary.
Will anyone sleep? Who knows.
Will they get pranked if they do? Uh - that's kind of the rule for lock-ins.
What I DO know is that I'm probably too dang old for crap like this.
I mean, sure, it was my idea to do it, and I'm really looking forward to it - but what I'm NOT looking forward to is how I'm going to feel when I have to stumble home at 8:00 in the morning.
I'm currently taking bets on how many days it'll take me to get back to normal afterwards.
My money's on "all of them".

Ah, who am I kidding. There's no such thing as enough sleep.

Abby is having an overnight retreat with some chicks from church, so our poor puppies will be home alone all night.

Wow. As I was writing this, I got really sleepy all of a sudden.
I'm headed home to take a nap...

2009-07-15T15:46:00.001-05:00

http://www.acme.com/licensemaker/

Hunting high and low... mostly low...

2009-05-26T13:02:00.002-05:00

We're looking to buy a house.
We have visited SO MANY houses recently, and looked at SO MANY MORE listings online that they are all starting to run together.

Like so many things, house-hunting, to me, is a really fun idea to talk about and play around with...
But a really, really, horrible, existential, soul-reaving process in which your very notions of priority, maturity, budgeting and self-esteem are blown to pieces, baked in a pie, and served back to you in relentless perpetuity.

It's also very complicated for first-timers. No wonder so many people screw it up, get foreclosed on, and ruin the world's economy.
But hey - you know - NO PRESSURE.

I say all that to say:
We actually found a house we like. It's a little farther out from work than I'd like (it's in Katy, TX), but it's very cool, within our price range, a good size, and in a great neighborhood.
We're meeting with the Realtor tonight to work out the details of an offer.
I'm scared to death. I don't understand why everybody else is NOT scared to death of committing to something for 30 years. Renting feels very, very safe to me right now.
Nevertheless! -we are pressing forward. And yes, I'm actually a little excited. There are a lot of pieces to consider, and a lot of hoops to jump through. Plenty can go wrong.

Sherlock Holmes Trailer!

2009-05-19T13:15:00.002-05:00

Trailer is out for the new Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, and Rachel McAdams.
Check it out HERE in HD at Yahoo Movies, and eat your heart out.

Sherlock Holmes, directed by Guy Ritchie, is due in theaters Christmas Day 2009.

CAN'T FREAKING WAIT.

Now I can die in peace...

2009-05-07T11:25:00.004-05:00

Reading back over the last few posts, I noticed a couple of things I had mentioned off hand that I wanted to follow up on.

Namely -

I HAVE GENERAL ADMISSION FLOOR TICKETS TO
U2 @ RELIANT STADIUM ON OCTOBER 14, 2009!!
(Muse is opening)

Patrick Gilgour bought them for me as a "birthday present". As promised, he is hereby exempt from all future birthday, Christmas, and anniversary presents (You're still on the hook for baby showers, though, suckachump!).
Now I can die in peace.

Secondly, Abz and I leave early tomorrow morning with our friends Raine and Andrew Neilson for The World's Best Vacation of 2009 (so far)!! Codename: Project Rodent. We're going to Disney World (again)!!! We're staying at the plush Sheraton Vistana Villages in Orlando, and spending 5+ days park hopping, relaxing, and playing LOTS of Settlers of Catan. Wish you were there butnotreally!! Comment with your address, and I'll send you a picture e-mail from EPCOT!!

Lastly - My summer reading list.
As soon as I finish High Fidelity by Nick Hornby, I'll be reading:
Youth Ministry 3.0 by Mark Ostriecher
The Reason For God by Tim Keller
A Christianity Worth Believing by Doug Pagitt
and just for fun,
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
And hopefully LOTS and LOTS of comic books, namely the Batman: Battle for the Cowl, and Green Lantern: Blackest Night series.

What are you reading?
Also - do YOU have U2 tickets?

Marriage

2009-05-07T09:26:00.005-05:00

Sometimes... when my wife and I are getting dressed in the morning... independently of each other... we end up wearing almost exactly the same outfit. It's weird because she usually picks her clothes out first, and I don't see her until she is almost all put together.

I guess what I'm saying is that - in a really uncanny way, I think I can sub-consciously sense my wife's color and pattern vibes and misread them as original thoughts on what I'M supposed to wear that day.

This morning we both wore jeans and a green t-shirt. Sometimes she gets mad when it happens, as if I were doing it on purpose. I actually think it's sweet, and kind of hilarious. Sometimes I even change my clothes when I notice.

Let me make one thing clear: I would NEVER intentionally dress just like my wife, unless we were going as chaperones to the Parkview Baptist School Homecoming dance in 1994.

If you live with someone for a while, you start to become like them in little ways. Have you ever heard about how if women live in the same house for a long time, their menstrual cycles can start to synchronize? Two thoughts.
A) Whew! NO THANKS!
and
B) This is kind of how I think about the whole dressing-alike thing. I don't have a menstrual cycle, so maybe this is the next closest thing.

And that, friends, is what marriage means to me.

Spinning (Seder) Plates...

2009-04-08T09:42:00.006-05:00

Baruch HaShem!
Happy Passover, go brain, go! followers!

A lot going on right now. I'm not really the kind of guy who gets stressed out - but if I was going to pick a time, it would probably be now.
In fact, all of 2009 so far has been in such a hurry. I don't like it. I don't think it's good to live life at such a pace.

Here's what's coming up:
- Abby and I leave tomorrow morning for a weekend in Baton Rouge. My sister is getting married and has asked me to perform the ceremony. What an honor! The catch? It's a Renaissance wedding. At a castle (in Louisiana? Yes.) With costumes. And the ceremony, I guess, is going to be in King James English. I should probably know that - I'm writing it. Anyway, there's something about our family that we enjoy getting married right around major holidays. Abz and I were married 2 days before Christmas. Casey and her husband are getting married 2 days before Easter. That's right - Good Friday. Frankly, I don't know how she pulled it off. Much of the celebration of Easter (these days) revolves around children. She is a Children's Minister at a church. She's going to be gone Easter weekend on her honeymoon. She's either brilliant or crazy.

- Sunday morning is Easter, of course, and our youth ministry is holding a Passover Seder that morning at 9:30 and 11:00. It's become kind of a tradition in our group (2 years in a row!) that is very cool. It does, however require a monumental amount of preparation, that I'm not sure I have time for (and yet here I am blogging). It's a beautiful experience that connects us with the history of our faith, our roots in Judaism, and reminds us of what it means to be in covenant relationship with each other and with God. If I wasn't so exhausted thinking about all I still have to do before I leave in the morning, I would say that I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe I can get some help from some students during our Journey Group meeting tonight.

- Easter Sunday afternoon my Young Couples small group is having a crawfish boil (OH YEAAH!) to celebrate the resurrection. I'm not sure how 5 pounds of bugs per person celebrates the resurrection - but I'm willing to go with it. Also - are crawfish Kosher? Who cares.

- The weekend after Easter? Disciple Now.

- Then a short break to write 3 papers, prepare for and take 2 finals (early) before our trip to WALT DISNEY WORLD in Florida May 8-15, 2009.

WHEW!
*sweat drops - sweat drops*
*worry lines - worry lines*

Left arm for sale - hardly used....

2009-04-02T15:56:00.003-05:00

New Rob Bell tour - Drops Like Stars - is coming to Austin in November.

U2 is supposedly coming to Houston in Sept./Oct.

Time to start saving-up-slash-get-a-second-job.

You better be sure!!

2009-03-26T11:58:00.004-05:00

Benji extols my back-in-the-day basketball virtues.
A lesson on how the universe fundamentally works.
A demonstration of my skillz.
All in under 10 minutes.
Enjoy!

I used this for part of my teaching on February 8, 2009.

Star Wars - a 3-year-old's account...

2009-01-20T20:15:00.001-06:00

This one, too.

Hey Jude

2009-01-20T20:11:00.000-06:00

I submit that you can't NOT watch this.

In God We Trust

2009-01-14T15:08:00.003-06:00

"I don't see how we can have a separation of church and state in this government if you have to pass a religious test to get in this government. And I want to warn everyone in the press, and all the voters out there - if you demand expressions of religious faith from politicians, you are just begging to be lied to. They won't all lie to you - but a lot of them will. And it'll be the easiest lie they ever had to tell to get your votes. So, every day until the end of this campaign, I'll answer any question anyone has on government. But if you have a question on religion - please - go to church."

Sen. Arnold Vinick (R - California)

.....

2009-01-03T13:42:00.004-06:00

So - funny story.
I'm doing a wedding for some dear friends tonight at 7p.m.
Last night at rehearsal, my voice was about 90% gone, which was the cause of some panic.
Since that time I have swallowed more water and more hot tea with honey than Earl Grey himself.
I'm think I'm actually doing a lot better today, but to be honest, I haven't let myself talk enough to find out how weak or strong the ol' pipes are now.
At this point I'm averaging about one cup of tea every half hour.
So my question, dear reader, becomes this:
Besides the CONSTANT URINATION - Is there a down side to ingesting such large quantities of tea?

The Robot Apocalypse...

2008-12-30T11:13:00.003-06:00

It's coming - nay - it is already upon us.
Exhibit A - THIS article on the mind-controlled Nintendo Wii, coming in 2010.
Doesn't anyone else see this for what it is? Sure, it's designed for you to control video games with your outgoing thoughts... but it's really just opening a door for the machines to gain control of our thoughts by sending signals IN! Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!

File under miscellaneous...

2008-12-29T14:09:00.006-06:00

- I got a B (81.5%) in my Church History II class. Better than I thought, although my final exam grade was nothing pretty. Still waiting to see what I got in my Hermeneutics class.

- I'm not reading Jesus Wants To Save Christians anymore, so I removed it from the left-hand column. I finished it a while back, and I don't really want to do a full-blown review of it here. Suffice it to say, Rob Bell is an amazing thinker/theologian, and a pretty good writer. The book was absolutely brilliant. Anybody who knows me knew I was going to say that. It doesn't make it any less true. If you still haven't gotten hip to the Rob Bell thing, I don't know what else I can do for you. Please accept my condolences at your willingness to continue living an unfulfilled and unexplained life.

- That last sentence was un-called-for. I apologize. But seriously - what's your deal?

- Abby and I celebrated our 2-year anniversary on December 23rd. We went to The Melting Pot, which is a cool little fondue place, where everything you eat is pretty much cooked in a pot right there on your table. You dip stuff in cheese, broth, and chocolate. It was REALLY tasty. Really cool atmosphere, too. I really have a thing for places where they don't cook your food in a kitchen. Places like the Melting Pot, and the Japanese hibachi grills. Especially the Japanese hibachi grill. To be honest, the Melting Pot was a little expensive for me. And the food was good, but it wasn't that good. It's kind of a racket, actually - but overall a good experience that I'm glad we had, and probably won't have again.

2 years is the cotton anniversary. So we actually went to the Mall of Louisiana and to Old Navy on the day after Christmas, gave each other an allowance, and got whatever we wanted. I got 2 pairs of jeans, a nice navy blue shirt and a cool snap-brim cap. Don't knock the hat. The hat's cool. Cooler than I expected, actually. And no - I'm not wearing it backward like Samuel L. Jackson, and TobyMac (please, please click on that TobyMac link).

- Abby and I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at a pre-screening before it came out. Now that it's out, you really should avoid watching everything else until you see it. It's very, very good. Of course, I'm pretty sure Brad Pitt's my favorite actor (sorry Tom), and I'm quite sure that Cate Blanchett is Abby's, so don't confuse the bias in my tone. See it anyway. Despite my undying love for Brad and Cate - my favorite character in the movie was New Orleans. Man, she looked good!

- We also saw Valkyrie with my parents on Christmas Day. It was also very good. Not very, very good. But very good. As I sat down in the theater, it occurred to me that it was a movie about a plot to assassinate Hitler - a clearly UNsuccessful plot to assassinate Hitler. So how good could it be, right? It's still worth a look to see the ins and outs. Get this one from Netflix or your local redbox when it comes out - but don't watch it with a bunch of talky people. Wait until you can really pay attention.

- Our friends Jenny and Dylan are getting married on January 3rd. They have graciously asked me to perform their wedding, which I am very excited about. Normally when I perform a wedding, I just take the text of the last one I did, change the names, and recycle it. Don't look at me like that - that's what most ministers do. And the fact that you haven't realized that yet, tells me just how much attention people pay to that kind of thing, and makes my point. Actually, my real point here is that I'm not doing that this time. Because these are people I really care about, I am working on something new and unique for their ceremony, which is kind of fun to think about.

- My favorite CD of the past year was the self-titled Vampire Weekend CD. To me, VW is to music as Wes Anderson films are to movies. VW just reminds me of The Royal Tenenbaums, The Darjeeling Limited and Hotel Chevalier. I don't usually listen to or enjoy a lot of new music - so way to go VW for getting my attention this year!

- For Christmas I got quite a fair amount of money, gift cards for several eating establishments, an iTunes gift card, an LSU zipper fleece (very cool), some LSU moccasins (kind of weird, actually), a framed pastel drawing of Batman with the Bat-Signal in the background (also kind of weird, I guess, but very cool), a 2009 calendar of vintage LSU football posters and game-day program covers, and a bunch of edibles. Forgive me if I forgot anything, but if you'll pardon my saying so - that's EXACTLY one of the reasons we asked not be be given presents this Christmas. My sister did do something very cool, though. She donated money in our names to be used toward a water filter for an impoverished community in South America. Now THAT's what I'm talking about.

- Every time I leave my parents house headed back to my own, my mother tries to load me down with a bunch of my old childhood crap - most of which is garbage that nobody wants, and I can't believe she still has. This time I left with nostalgia GOLD - my old set of twin-size Return of the Jedi sheets, and my Return of the Jedi sleeping bag. Now, if I could just find a twin bed to put them on....

Fourthmeal - my little emo girl

2008-12-19T09:44:00.002-06:00

Yes, Fourthmeal is a couple of guys from my youth group.
Yes, they are actually quite talented.
Yes, it appears they are the heirs-apparent to Nosferatu-tu.
No, you can't really understand all the words to this song.
It's probably better that way.

Art imitates life imitates art

2008-12-17T11:45:00.004-06:00

From IMDB.com:

According to an article in The New York Times (29 October 2008), shortly after then-Illinois state senator Barack Obama spoke at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, "The West Wing" (1999) writer Eli Attie had several long telephone conversations with David Axelrod, a political consultant who was then working on Obama's U.S. Senate campaign. From those conversations, Attie modeled the character of Matthew Santos after Obama's political and personal life. Like Santos, Obama eventually won his race for the presidency. Likewise, according to an article in The Guardian (6 November 2008), the character of Josh Lyman was modeled after Rep. Rahm Emanuel; on the show, Lyman became President Santos' Chief of Staff, while Obama's first staffing announcement after his 2008 election was to name Emanuel as his Chief of Staff.

Next: John Goodman wins Congressional seat in Louisiana - elected Speaker of the House...

Verily I say unto thee - Nip it in the bud!

2008-12-16T15:41:00.003-06:00

In the preparation/Background material for the small group curriculum we use here at the church, I came across an interesting comparison this afternoon. As I was preparing to give a short background talk tomorrow night, I read this:

On “The Andy Griffith Show,” Don Knotts played a small town deputy who constantly sought to prove his authority as “the law in these parts.” Because his job held very little authority in Mayberry, he relished every opportunity he got to investigate a crime or put someone behind bars. Trouble awaited anyone who tried to step between Deputy Barney Fife and his authority.
Although the Jewish religious leaders during the time of Jesus’ earthly ministry were not comical, they too felt the sting of a powerless position and relished every opportunity they had to prove their authority. The Roman government had come in and taken many freedoms away from the Jewish people, as well as most of the authority from the religious leaders.
The Romans considered religious matters petty and a waste of time. Only in this area did they step back and allow the Jewish people to govern themselves. Therefore, the Pharisees found themselves in a position similar to that of a small town deputy. Matters which the Roman government found inconsequential were monumental to them. They worked hard to maintain their authority among the Jewish people and held onto the little power they had with clenched fists.

That's right. First Century Jewish Religious Leaders = Deputy Barney Fife.
Interesting, no? I'm willing to bet you know people like this in your church, or office. People who have appointed themselves arbiters over meaningless things, because they have nothing really meaning-full in their lives. Please don't use my comments section to name names.

Dear Diary,

2008-12-13T19:07:00.003-06:00

Today at Fall Retreat - 17 people threw up.
In my youth group, we call that a WIN.

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas...

2008-12-06T14:17:00.002-06:00

Abby and I finished all of our Christmas shopping the other night. We did it in about 10 minutes.
This year we bought all of our gifts from Heifer International. We purchased some chickens, some ducks, a goat, and some rabbits on behalf of our families. Everybody wins! No hippopotami, though. Sorry.

ASBO - December 4, 2008

2008-12-05T08:00:00.000-06:00

Unfunniest thing ever...

2008-12-04T22:44:00.004-06:00

Comedy Driving School

I didn't think it was possible, but Comedy Driving School Defensive Driving successfully walks the fine line between being intriguing enough that you would choose it over another alternative, and still being so much of a beating that you want to do whatever it takes to never, ever, ever have to sit through it again.

It also manages the loosest definition of the word "comedy" I have ever encountered.

It happens...

2008-12-03T15:54:00.004-06:00

I'm sure this picture will probably get me added to some terrorist watch list, but let me say, for the record - I AM NOT A TERRORIST. I know - that's what all the terrorists say, right? You got me there. Well, maybe I am one (a t-word), in the sense that the above image, and the link that you're about to follow may inspire terror. By that rationale, I might also be called a Laughterist, or a Confusionist - because it is likely to move to you either or both of those.

Here's the story.
Apparently, in nativity scenes in certain parts of Europe, it is customary to include a figurine of someone defecating - usually in the back somewhere, "far away from the manger", for the children to find. The figures are called "caganers", literally "defecators". This link is to a Telegraph story which details a shop that sells caganers in the likeness of world leaders and sports celebrities.

ENJOY!

Man, I really wish I was teaching this weekend, instead of last weekend. You can bet this would have made my powerpoint slide show. Maybe as an illustration of how people are always adding crap to Christmas that doesn't belong there, and we need to get back to what it's really about. Yeah - that's good stuff. Feel free to use it if you're speaking anywhere in the near future, lol.

NYWC - The rest of it...

2008-12-01T18:13:00.007-06:00

So yeah - I got so bogged down in actually attending the NYWC that I didn't have time to continue blogging about it. And since we left on Tuesday, I have rarely had internet access (we don't have it at the house) until now. Which is good - because a week's worth of perspective has allowed me to weed out all but the high points which included these:

- Robert Terrell asked what how I'd grade Shane Claiborne, Andrew Marin, and Tony Campolo on the "Bell Curve". I'd give Shane Claiborne a 50%, Andrew Marin a 60%, and Campolo a solid 75%.

- Mike Pilavachi was also a General Session speaker. He's funny and British, and talked about how Jesus did youth ministry. He retold the narrative of The Feeding of the Five Thousand, to emphasize how Jesus made room for his disciples to make mistakes as a way of teaching them. Freedom to fail breeds greater success, he said. For example - on one occasion, Jesus sent out the disciples for a little field work and they came back all bruised up. They remarked about how they tried to cast out some demons, but they just weren't able to. Jesus gently reminded them that "This kind only comes out by prayer and fasting...". And you can bet that the next time he sent them into the field, they remembered that part about the prayer and fasting. Pretty good stuff. All in all an interesting talk, but I suspect that Pilavachi wouldn't be so funny if he didn't have a British accent.
On the Bell Curve, Pilavachi gets a 65%.

- NYWC always has a massive convention hall, with booths set up for everything from coffee fundraisers (about 15), to youth camps (about 30), to t-shirt design and printing companies (about 100). And everybody's giving something away. Usually a some big prize like an iPod, or a Wii, or an AmEx gift card, or free tuition to their camp, that you have to sign up and give your information for. They also usually have a smaller little trinket that they're giving away, like an ugly T-shirt, a frisbee, a CD or DVD, free coffee samples, or more importantly - candy. I always enjoy walking through the hall to check out the different booths, but in general they are mostly useless to me. This year, however, the very last booth in the hall was the best I've ever seen. It was the Zondervan Publishing booth. Zondervan is actually the parent company of Youth Specialties, and the publisher of Jesus Wants To Save Christians, The Bible in 90 Days, NOOMA videos, and the new NIV Thinline pocket-sized Bible I got for 50% off. At their booth was one of the all-time coolest things I've ever seen.

Next fall, they are publishing a hand-written NIV version of the Bible. In order to accomplish this, they are doing a campaign called "Bible Across America" (which actually sounds far more lame than the actual campaign). They are taking an RV to 90 U.S. cities and allowing people to contribute a verse in their own handwriting, and publishing the results. At the Zondervan booth where we stopped, there were three light-boxes with big folio-sized pages on them. Each box had 2 pages on it. When you walk up, they hand you a card with the next verse on it, in order, and when it's your turn, you walk up and write your verse right where the last person left off. You write it twice, once on each page, just in case. This method will produce two folio-sized copies, each of which amount to a version of the entire Bible. One copy will be auctioned off for charity, the other will be housed in the Smithsonian. Abby and I contributed consecutive verses - 1 Kings 6:30 for me, and 31 for her. To tell the truth, even though it was only a single verse, it was a little bit of a nerve-wracking experience for me. I mean, this is something you want to get exactly right, isn't it? Never again will I talk trash about scribal or copyist errors in translation. The guy at the lightbox next to me was translating from Samuel or Chronicles or something, and he had a verse with "LORD" in it. They made sure to tell him to write it in all caps. What they DIDN'T tell him was that after he did that, he's supposed to burn the pen, go down to the river, bathe himself, and change his clothes before he could do anything else. Regardless, a very cool experience, and I can't wait for the finished product. Of course 31,173 people are guaranteed to buy it, and I'm looking forward to checking out mine and Abz' contributions.

- The other most exciting booth for us was the Compassion International booth.
Abby and I adopted a boy named Mutinda Muteti Derick from Kenya. He has the same birthday as me, 24 years later. He lives with his father, stepmother and 3 other children. He likes soccer and playing with cars. He gathers firewood and cares for animals at home. He is an average student. He lives in an area of the world that is at high risk for HIV/AIDS.

- Near the end of the weekend, we attended 2 breakout sessions in a row by the same presenter, Crystal Kirgiss. I had never heard of her before, but we were instantly impressed and a little bit infatuated with her. She's brilliant. The 2 seminars she presented were, From Youth Room to Dorm Room, about preparing students for college, and Hooking Up, Breaking Up, Making up, The Perils of Teen Sex and Dating. The former was really useful in helping me sort out the kinds of things I need to include in the curriculum for High School kids, so that they'll be prepared when they leave our ministry, and not come back later to tell me how I let them down, or lied to them, lol. In the latter, she articulated a "no exclusive dating" philosophy that really resonated with us. I know - I'm as surprised as you are. She referred to the process of modern "dating" as "Premarital Marriage". HA! I love that. And she referred to breaking up as "Premarital Divorce". Basically - marriage practice and divorce practice. Ouch. Being guilty on both counts, it's no wonder that her solutions seemed ultimately profound to me. My church is going to kill me or fire me, but I think I'm going to personally advocate just such a philosophy from here on out, and try to instill it in my own children *twinkle*.
On the Bell Curve - Crystal gets a whopping 95%!
She and Francis Chan are the BIG take-aways from this year's convention.

- One of the General Sessions we didn't make it to featured Francis Collins, National Director of the Human Genome Project. We bought the DVD, and I'm excited to hear what he had to say to a room full of preacher-boys.

- I have photos of the artwork from the other General Sessions, which I thought were pretty cool, and will post them when I get my camera back from the wife.

- Last Monday, after the last General Session was over, we walked down a few blocks from the Convention Center to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. We had lunch at a little cafe there that served the best meatloaf, grilled veggies and sweet tea I think I've ever had. We took the tour, which was supremely cool, and walked through the actual Hall... of fame. Then we bought souvenir T-shirts in the gift shop. Abby got this one in black:
And I got a cool grunge-looking shirt in black that says "Johnny Cash" on it. We were really tempted to get the Willie Nelson for President shirts that were on clearance.

- We got up on Tuesday morning and drove 16 hours straight back to Houston, picked up both dogs, plus one more, and felt normal but exhausted.

NYWC Nashville - Day 1

2008-11-21T11:59:00.000-06:00

Day one started with General Session 1 at 1:00.
First up - Mercy Me.
Meh.
I don't really care about them all that much.
The highlight of their show was when Bart Millard said, "I know we're kind of known as the make you cry, funeral song guys, with I Can Only Imagine and Homesick. But what we'd really like to do is write a really upbeat song for a birth, or a graduation or something!"

Next up - Francis Chan.
I had never heard Francis Chan before.
Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm going to initiate something here. A new little scale I'm going to call "The Bell Curve". Last time I came to Nashville for NYWC was the first time I ever heard Rob Bell speak. It was a life-altering experience. Literally. So, using Rob's NYWC rookie appearance as the standard (the 100%, if you will), I will grade General Session speakers accordingly.
That being said, Francis Chan gets an 88%. He was phenomenal. Worth the price of admission. He was so good, you wondered why they didn't save him for later in the week, when everybody has worn themselves out and decide they've seen enough General Session speakers, and that they'd be better served by playing Rock Band in the Exhibit Hall.
I am buying the DVD of Francis Chan, and showing it to everybody I can get to sit still for 30 minutes.

After that (if you can believe it) - Crowder.
What can you say about the David Crowder Band (DCB)? They're brilliant. Turntables, keytar, banjo, and that awesome Guitar Hero controller they rigged to play actual music. Not only are they a great band, but they put on the best stage show I think I've ever seen live. U2 is the best stage show on earth, but I've never seen them live - only live on video or at the movies.
I can't seem to get enough of the DCB. The Bell Curve isn't really intended for bands, but if it was, the DCB would get a 95%.
I shot a video of them on my camera singing Hank Williams Sr.'s I Saw The Light...

It was such a long day, I don't remember what Seminar I went to next, or if I even did. Plus who cares what seminar you went to when General Session 2 was next and it had not 1;
not 2;
but 3 speakers,
PLUS ANOTHER ROUND OF THE DCB!

DCB was brilliant AGAIN, and the speakers for Gen. Sess. 2 were:
Shane Claiborne, who talked about the need to live simply and have new eyes to see the poor, marginalized, and oppressed in our world.
Dude is a freak, looks like a cross between Shaggy, Rob Bell, and Predator, and cackles like somebody dropped a house on his sister.

Andrew Marin, a straight white dude who is living incarnationally in the Chicago neighborhood of Boys Town. He did a wonderful (if not a little self-serving) job convincing us of the need to reach out in love to the gay and lesbian community, and gave some compelling examples of redemptive work in the gay community that did not include trying to make gay people straight.
He also taught us that the word "homosexual" is offensive to gay and lesbian folks because basically it's too accurate a description of what they do, and that we should drop the word from our vocabularies.

and finally....
Tony Campolo - everybodys favorite crazy grandpa who happens to be a preacher/professor. Tony Campolo - who was tragically separated at birth from Lewis Black, who is clearly his twin.
It's funny that on Campolo's website, he's identified as "the positive prophet of red-letter Christianity", when his message to us was to go back and re-read Revelation 18 and 19, in light of the fact that America is Babylon the great. In fact, all dominant societies are Babylon, and are doomed to fall. He challenged us to decide to be, and to shape our students to be the type of people who are prepared to live not in Babylon, which is falling as we speak, but in the Kingdom of Heaven. Not the most positive message, but certainly very poignant, and thought provoking. Usually I shy away from those messages that compare America (or anything, really) to something in Revelation. But just YOU try it, and see what you think when you remember what's going on with our economy, and the economies of the world.

The official convention artist paints throughout the course of each General Session.
During today's Sessions, he painted the following paintings that are freaking brilliant:

That's enough for Day 1.
More on Francis Chan later... I'm still processing his talk, but I am certain I will have thoughts to discuss.
Next up, Day 3 - the laziest day so far.

NYWC Nashville - Prologue

2008-11-21T10:52:00.007-06:00

Last time I went to National YouthWorker Convention - in Austin 2 years ago - I said I was going to be blogging from the convention. I lied. I posted once about seeing the David Crowder Band for the first time, and that was it. So here comes attempt #2 at blogging from the NYWC.

Abby and I are here in Nashville at the Millenium Maxwell House Hotel. It's currently 32 degrees outside (at about 11:00 a.m.), and last night it snowed while we were waiting for the shuttle back to the hotel. Yeah- it's freakin' cold. Jedidiah is going to make a fortune this week on beanie hats. I should open a little chap-stick (or lip-chap, if you prefer) stand and make a fortune.

At registration we got our complimentary Youth Specialties bags, which are very cool this year.

This Freeset Bag tells a story of one woman's journey to freedom. She used to stand with 6,000 other prostitutes in a small but well-known area of North Calcutta. She didn't choose her profession; it chose her. Poverty does that. It robs people of their dignity and children of their innocence.

She still lives in the same area, but instead of selling her body, she makes Freeset Bags. Now she has choices - the choice to work decent hours for decent pay, to reestablish her dignity in her community, and to learn to read and write. Now her daughter won't have to stand in the street selling her body like she did. Freedom has been passed on to the next generation.

It feels like it's made out of hemp or something, and they come in two colors, army green and khaki.

Some other shwag we picked up along our journey through the YS store...
There was a 40% off Bible sale going on yesterday only, and we picked up these sweet pocket sized NIV Thinlines, along with some other stuff.

Today we make our first real pass through the big scary Exhibit Hall, where I will register to win about a gazillion iPods, Wii's, free t-shirts and vacations. Also- I'll be handed a bunch of useless crap like that foam finger up there, which will likely end up in the garbage, and is probably not easily bio-degradable. C'est la vie.

The theme for this year is Seriously Ridiculous.
The opening General Session is at 1:00 p.m. today. Francis Chan is speaking, David Crowder Band is leading worship and Mercy Me is performing. I'm really looking forward to this week.
More updates to follow.

Some kid actually asked "Hey, what's your favorite letter?"

2008-10-31T21:42:00.004-05:00

So, yeah. Halloween 2008. Second Halloween since I married the costumier, which pretty much means my outfit can beat up your outfit. So this year, the Dread Pirate Thomas (check out chron.com, the Houston Chronicle website in the next couple of days), last year "Red Stick" Houston, the fastest gun EAST of the Missisippi.
Next year - who knows! But I'm betting it'll be something that calls for a beard, and a hat....

Fidel Castro perhaps? El Presidente!

Bar Stool Economics

2008-10-29T13:12:00.005-05:00

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes,
it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day
and seemed quite happy with the arrangement,
until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
'Since you are all such good customers,' he said,
'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.'
Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes
so the first four men were unaffected.
They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men - the paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.
But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would
each end up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount,
and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before and the first four continued to
drink for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare
their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20', declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right', exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a
dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10
back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We
didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks,
so the nine sat down and had beers without him.
But when it came time to pay the bill they discovered something
important.
They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half
of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax
system works.
The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from
a tax reduction.
Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they
just may not show up anymore.
In fact, they might start drinking overseas
where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

October

2008-10-24T15:30:00.001-05:00

October and the trees are stripped bare
Of all they wear.
What do I care?

October and kingdoms rise
And kingdoms fall
But you go on
And on.

-U2

Elementary!

2008-10-13T18:09:00.008-05:00

I've spent most of today writing essay questions in preparation for my Church History mid-term exam tomorrow. My professor is Miles Mullin, unfortunate older brother of Shane Mullin, for those of you who know that guy. Professor Mullin gave us 4 potential essay questions, of which 3 will appear on the test, of which we must answer exactly 2. So - I don't have to prepare all four of them. But if I prepare 3 of them, and one of those does not appear on the exam, I'm golden. If I only prepare two of them, that's a gamble, because there's a chance that one out of two may not appear on the test. One is right out. So there's that. I've been doing that all day. Which lead to my search for distractions much of the afternoon. Which resulted in my stumbling across this news:

New pictures have surfaced of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law portraying Sherlock Holmes and Dr. James Watson respectively, in a new film by Guy Ritchie. I've known about the film for some time, but hadn't seen pictures until today. Here's a taste:
You can click these to see more pictures.

Anyway - the people who know me best know that I have always loved the character Sherlock Holmes and have devoured every single story Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ever wrote about him. My fascination with Sherlock Holmes started at a very young age - elementary school, probably - when I was given a rather thick anthology of the Strand stories by an aunt of mine. In fact, my love for the character is what led, ultimately to my obsession with Batman - also known as "the Worlds Greatest Detective".

Anyway - I only bring it up to express a little disappointment in the way Downey looks as Holmes. Based on my reading of the stories, and the illustrations by Sidney Paget which accompanied Doyle's serials in The Strand, I always imagined Sherlock Holmes one of two ways. Either well-dressed in the style of the late 19th century, sometimes in a large overcoat and hat (not necessarily his signature deerstalker cap) - or in a dressing gown and robe, indulging in some questionable substances in the privacy of his own rooms at 221B Baker Street. Robert Downey Jr. looks like a cross between Charlie Chaplin and Oliver Twist. Maybe he's in one of Holmes' famous disguises (another trait Batman picks up), or maybe RDJ is just trying to get into character by wearing some period clothing. If you look at the other pictures, it's clear that his sneakers are NOT period. Neither is his coffee.

Either way - I think Robert Downey Jr. is a pretty amazing actor. And I like the look they've got going with Jude Law's Dr. Watson. I'm really excited about a Sherlock Holmes movie with these two, and I hope it will remain faithful to the source material. Apparently Amy Adams is playing Irene Adler in the film, too. I wonder if they have an awesome Moriarty. I recommend Michael Emerson who plays Benjamin Linus on LOST. Ben Linus uses the name Moriarty on one of his fake passports in the show. Also he's kind of amazing - in a scary, diabolical kind of way.

I am also aware of another Sherlock Holmes film in production at Columbia Pictures starring Sascha Baron Cohen as Holmes and Will Ferrell as Watson. It's supposedly written by Ethan Coen, and produced by Judd Apatow. I am confident that it will be a travesty and an unmitigated failure.

Fey or Palin?

2008-10-10T10:52:00.003-05:00

You make the call!
Check out this quiz from the Chicago Tribune.
From a series of pictures, you have to pick which ones are Sarah Palin, and which ones are Tina Fey.
I got 90%! There's one that's pretty tricky.

(HT to ysmarko)

Forget the Mayan Calendar...

2008-10-10T10:14:00.003-05:00

...the world's going to end on Sunday, November 23rd 2008.

Because that's the day Chinese Democracy by Guns 'N Roses is finally scheduled to drop.
A Sunday, not a Tuesday like usual, the release is going to be a Best Buy exclusive.

As for the promise by the Dr. Pepper company to give everyone in America a free can of the stuff if the album released at any time during 2008, Dr. Pepper VP of Marketing, Tony Jacobs said, "if the rumors are true, we're putting the Dr. Pepper on ice."
Check out the Billboard.com article here.

Abz and I will actually be at National Youthworker Convention in Nashville that day. I'm going to petition Marko to give the disc away as a prize (To me. For the idea), and have a listening party with free Dr. Pepper!

We should trade jobs...

2008-10-10T10:07:00.000-05:00

From an interview on CNN.com,

Colbert, who lives in New Jersey with his wife and kids, also touched upon one of his hobbies: teaching Sunday school. He's done it in the past and hopes to again next year.

"The great thing about teaching Sunday school is that these kids ask questions that even in college we thought were so deep," he said. Examples: What's beyond time? What came before God?

Then again, he said, sometimes they're just asking to go to the bathroom.
"And I say no."

Things I Would Eliminate by J.T.

2008-10-10T09:50:00.004-05:00

Why are there fingernail clippers AND toenail clippers. And why are the fingernail clippers so much smaller? And don't tell me it's because fingers are smaller than toes - my thumbnail is definitely bigger than all but two of my toes (and that's counting both feet). Also - we use the biggest one (toenail clippers) to cut the smallest nail (the piggy who went "wee-wee"). And don't tell me you're supposed to switch back and forth between the big ones and the little ones on the same foot. That's the height of inefficiency. Is there some weird Talmudic precedent for not mixing toe jam and.... finger... jam? Is it not kosher? Just today I cut my thumbnail with toenail clippers, and I don't care who knows.

So I propose the elimination of one or the other - most likely the fingernail ones, the little ones.
All in favor say "aye".

Consume This:

2008-10-09T16:35:00.004-05:00

There is a church not too far from us that recently added a $25 million addition to their building. Our local newspaper ran a front-page story not too long ago about a study revealing that one in five people in our city lives in poverty. This is a book about those two numbers.

It's a book about faith and fear,

wealth and war,

poverty, power, safety, terror,

Bibles, bombs, and homeland insecurity,

It's about empty empires and the truth that everybody's a priest, it's about oppression, occupation, and what happens when Christians support, animate and participate in the very things Jesus came to set people free from.

It's about what it means to be a part of the church of Jesus in a world where some people fly planes into buildings while others pick up groceries in Hummers.

Jesus Wants to Save Christians by Rob Bell and Don Golden.

Yom Kippur

2008-10-09T10:04:00.003-05:00

Blow the trumpet in Zion,
declare a holy fast,
call a sacred assembly...
Joel 2:15

From the Yiddish play, The Dybbuk;

God's world is great and holy. The holiest land in the world is the land of Israel. In the land of Israel, the holiest city is Jerusalem. In Jerusalem, the holiest place is the temple, and in the Temple, the holiest spot was the Holy of Holies...

There are seventy peoples in the world. The holiest among these is the people of Israel. The holiest of the people of Israel is the tribe of Levi. In the tribe of Levi, the holiest are the priests. Among the priests, the holiest was the High Priest...

There are 354 days in the [lunar] year. Among these, the holidays are holy. Higher than these is the holiness of the Sabbath. Among Sabbaths, the holiest is the Day of Atonement, the Sabbath of Sabbaths...

There are seventy languages in the world. The holiest is Hebrew. Holier than all else in this language is the holy Torah, and in the Torah, the holiest part is the Ten Commandments. In the Ten Commandments, the holiest of all words is the name of God...

And once during the year, at a certain hour, these four supreme sanctities of the world were joined with one another. That was on the Day of Atonement, when the High Priest would enter the Holy of Holies, and there utter the name of God. And because this hour was beyond measure holy and awesome, it was the time of the utmost peril, not only for the High Priest but for the whole of Israel. For if in this hour there had, God forbid, entered the mind of the High Priest a false or sinful thought, the entire world would have been destroyed.

(From Jewish Literacy by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin)

You'd think that it would just be common courtesy for them to inform - I don't know - the rest of civilization when they did this every year, just in case the world was destroyed one time.
Kind of reminds me of a few months ago when they finally fired up that Supercollider without really telling everyone it might result in a black hole that would basically destroy the fabric of our universe. Just a heads-up might have been nice.

Anyway, Baruch Ha-Shem!

All growned up...

2008-10-02T15:38:00.009-05:00

About 11 weeks ago, after considering some other options, Abby and I decided to stay in the house we had been renting for about 18 months. As a gift to ourselves, we decided to do something we probably could not have done if we had moved to any of the places we had been considering:
We adopted.

We had been talking about it for a while. In fact, Abz had been on me to adopt another puppy (we already have Pixy, a 4-year-old Lab/Pit) for quite a while - probably since we moved into the house. She felt like Pixy probably could stand to be a little better socialized. Besides, only-children get spoiled. So we did some research, looked at some rescue organizations, and what they had available, and went to a PetsMart up in Tomball where S.A.F.E. House Rescue (Saving Animals From Euthanasia) was having a pet adoption fair.

There were a bunch of puppies there, including a brother and 2 sisters from the same litter. All three were from a litter that originally consisted of 6, but had lost 3 to Parvo. Because they were still getting shots to prevent Parvo, they told everyone that, even if adopted, none of those 3 puppies would go home with anybody until the shots were complete. At least a week or two. The boy and one of the girls was stark white, and the other sister was grey and white, like a wolf. We considered adopting the girl, Keelah, who was very popular that day, but in the end, we decided to go with the boy, who was far more laid back - like us. After talking to us, getting our application, seeing that we already had a good dog with a good home, and that Abz had a ton of experience with dogs, they decided to make an exception for us. So on July 12, 2008, we adopted an 11-week-old Lab/Husky puppy named Brewster. We brought him home, changed his name to Cash and instantly fell in love. Here he is that day:

(check him out at the S.A.F.E. House Rescue site!)

Here's a picture of him with Pixy, right after they met for the first time:
Part of the adoption fee with S.A.F.E. House included puppy training classes with The Pet Tutor, which we were very excited about. It took us a couple of weeks, but we finally got Cash enrolled, and wouldn't you know it - his sister Keelah was in the same class, which was kind of cool.

Well, here we are 6 weeks of Tuesday night classes (and 1 Hurricane Ike week off) later, and he is all growned up. Cash graduated from puppy school Tuesday night, and is about 22 weeks old now. Here's a picture of him recently:
How 'bout those ears? Like radar, man. More Husky than Lab every day. And he's gotten a little bit golden on the top of the head, and shoulders. I was never really a dog person, and definitely not a cat person. But I married a single dog-mom and became a convert. Now, I don't know what I'd do without those two. And Abby, too, I guess. Those three.

Happy Graduation, Cash-o-la!

No More Mr. Nice Guy...

2008-09-22T15:29:00.002-05:00

Sheer Brilliance!!

Rev. Robert Terrell of Stevens Point Tapestry Church used this video in Tapestry's 2nd ever worship service this past week.

The Periodic Table of Awesoments

2008-08-14T10:57:00.004-05:00

(click to enlargify!)

Found this on a site I discovered (read: clicked through to from ysmarko). Check out this image in its natural habitat over at Dapperstache.com. Billy - you'll love how Bacon is #1, the foundational building block of awesome. I personally love the fact that Batman is #3.

The Lamentable Tale of Cosmonaut Nikolai Peckmann

2008-08-14T10:52:00.003-05:00

In 1976, Cosmonaut Nikolai Peckmann was sent alone to an orbiting space station for what would be called Mission Six- to study the radiation levels and strange circumstances that killed all four crewmen of the last research mission.
By the third day, Peckmann's broken transmissions were coming back to ground control filled with increasing paranoia and delusion. He claimed that the spirits of the dead cosmonauts were coming to claim him, and that he had to keep moving to evade them. He shouted that if he could capture and consume these spirits himself while he still had strength, he could move to the next level of consciousness...Truly the rantings of an insane man.
Indeed, video recovered later would show Peckmann running around the confined but maze-like station, downing emergency sedatives like a madman....pausing in a corner momentarily, only to throw back vitamin pills and give chase to his invisible demons.
He had exhausted the entire cargo of vitamins, pills, and fresh fruit well ahead of schedule. There was no way another crew could be assembled to rescue him before he starved. After one rather violently garbled transmission, the static cleared and the last live image on record is that of Peckmann's empty, wilted spacesuit on the cabin floor.
It was determined that another mission to recover any remains or gather any more research would be a waste of the people's money, and the station was allowed to drift out of orbit and into space- a failure never to be mentioned again. It was ordered and assumed that all video and paper evidence had been destroyed.

..then, at the dawn of the eighties, a fledgling arcade game company called NAMCO would stumble across the transcripts of these events, and the rest -as they say- is history.

Okay, none of that is true. But you can buy the t-shirt and read the story here.

Barack Roll'd!

2008-08-13T14:01:00.001-05:00

It's a good thing I'm not rich...

2008-08-06T10:25:00.001-05:00

... or I might end up doing this kind of crap with my money.

WHEW!

RE: the previous post RE: the Dark Knight

2008-08-05T11:49:00.001-05:00

And check out this article from cnn.com.

J.T.'s offical thoughts RE: The Dark Knight

2008-07-21T19:30:00.006-05:00

Since when did they cast THIS GUY to play Batman??

Seriously - what the freaking heck is up with that stupid voice Christian Bale is using when he's wearing that outfit? That stupid black S.W.A.T. team outfit with the ridiculous helmet. You know the one. I refuse to acknowledge it as the Batman costume. Anyway - I noticed the stupid voice in Batman Begins, but with as few lines as the Batman character actually had in that film, I was largely able to look past it. This time? Ugh. You gotta be kidding me. It sounds ridiculous.

I just have this vision in my head of Batman standing on the roof of the GCPD with Commissioner Gordon and some cops from the MCU, and as soon as Batman speaks - their eyes grow very large, they all pause for a second, and then collapse into a pile of laughing law-enforcers.

I mean, all that was missing was for him to refer to himself in the third person, or as "me".
As in:
"Me know where Joker keeping Harvey and Rachel! Ommm-num-num-num..."
"Batman looove justice! Mmm-num-num-num!"

To be perfectly honest - I've never loved Christian Bale for the role in the first place.
Sure, he's better than West, Keaton, Kilmer, and Clooney - but being better than other guys that sucked still doesn't make you good.

So my official line about The Dark Knight is that I loved every single frame of it, except Batman.
He was the worst part about this Batman movie.
Thank God that every single other character is absolutely phenomenally rendered.
Every one.
Heath Ledger's supposed posthumous Oscar? Sure. Why not. I bet he'll get nominated, but I don't think he'll win. Summer movies don't win Academy Awards, no matter how good the performance.

I still think I need to see it one more time on a regular size screen to really form my opinion about whether or not it is a crime drama on the level of The Departed, or Heat. Just a note - IMAX might actually be TOO big.

So there you go.
Have you seen it?
What did you think?

And you can quote me on this...

2008-05-26T19:56:00.003-05:00

I don't think it has ever occurred to me to rinse the remaining Cool-Whip out of the bowl.
Ever.

Twitter

2008-05-21T17:31:00.003-05:00

Oh yeah, this just in - I'm twittering.
If you have any idea what twitter is, I'd love for you to follow.
My profile page is www.twitter.com/theboy1der.

Goin back to Cali

2008-05-21T16:30:00.003-05:00

My pastor was invited to a by-invitation-only conference at Saddleback Church, here in Lake Forest, California (outside of L.A.). He could invite one person, and whaddya know, he invited me. So here I am in the sanctuary of Saddlback church listening to a Panel discussion on Worship. Panel discussions have been the highlight of this conference so far. Yesterday there were 3 of them covering Evangelism, Fellowship and Preaching. The Preaching one featured a couple of guys, including Tim Keller, Erwin McManus, and Kerry Shook, which made for a very interesting discussion. I had never heard of Tim Keller before, but he was really great during the discussion. Other than him, I just wanted the other guys to shut up and let Erwin McManus speak. He was amazing. My feedback form from yesterday read, simply, "More Erwin please."

Anyway - not much else I'm really looking forward to at this conference, except the panel on Discipleship at 3pm that has a bunch of guys and Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill in Seattle. The other Mars Hill. Beyond that, I'm looking forward to dinner tonight at Pei Wei, and maybe getting back to the hotel in time for the American Idol finale (go Chikezie!).

The temperature here in the Saddleback valley is between 66 and 69 degrees. It's sunny, breezy, and the mountains look amazing. It's absolutely beautiful here. How could you not love it here*coughAbbyLeeThomascough* ?? No wonder people in L.A. are so thin and beautiful and happy. There's never any reason to go indoors and do things that make you fat and ugly and sad. Kind of like I'm doing now...

We're leaving the conference early tomorrow - before lunch - to catch our 2:30pm flight back to H-town. I'll have my camera out again as we go through the airport - on celebrity watch. No luck on the way in. Maybe on the way out I'll snap a shot of the back of Kevin Eubanks' head. If not, you'll just have to settle for Rick Warren, yo.

Camping Mocks The Homeless

2008-05-09T15:19:00.002-05:00

Abby and I are going camping at Brazos Bend with our Young Adult small group tonight. I haven't been camping in a couple of years, but I'm pretty sure I have never been on a weekend when it was 90+ degrees outside. This is going to be the moistest, most soaking wet weekend ever.

Nevertheless, we are packing up our new tent, our citronella tiki torches, our hot dogs and buns, our pancake griddle, our bocce balls, our cards and dominoes, our sleeping bags and air mattresses, and our hiking shoes - and heading for the hills. Please pray against the spirit of mosquitos.

If we're not back on Sunday... send out a search party.

Frustratingly simple

2008-05-09T12:22:00.004-05:00

This is a great little mind-bender of a game. Each board has the same objective - find the star. How you do that changes each time with no directions, you just have to figure it out.

Over the course of the last 2 days - I was able to get them all. Give it a try! You'll hate yourself until you figure it out - then you'll think you are the smartest person you know. Which, in my case, is actually true.

(HT to ysmarko for the link)

Ordered!

2008-05-09T09:57:00.001-05:00

(Click to go there!)

A Long Way Down

2008-05-08T12:22:00.004-05:00

A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby: Pretty interesting read, but not as interesting as How To Be Good. Less.... what's the word.... altruistic? - to be sure, and with a fair amount more profanity, which I'm not sure I'm quite used to in my books just yet. Which is weird because I hardly even notice it in movies or real life anymore.

It's the story of four very different individuals who encounter each other in the midst of a suicide attempt. Several of them have good reasons... several of them don't. What happens in the aftermath of their meeting, and subsequent non-death, is told from each of their perspectives and voices, which is what makes the story most interesting. No chapters in this book, just alternating voices, which was kind of cool. Overall, I'd give this book a C. It's entertaining, but not the kind of thing I didn't want to put down, or couldn't wait to pick back up. It actually suffered because of my recent Bible-readings, if you can believe it. If you like Nick Hornby, or have nothing else to read, then pick it up. If there's something else you can get excited about, walk on by this one.

For Billy...

2008-05-08T12:07:00.005-05:00

... who will one day grow tired of me thinking about him whenever I see something Zombie-related.

(ripped cleanly from indexed.blogspot.com, which is a really funny site you should totally check out.)

Did he just?!.... Nahhh.....

2008-05-07T12:58:00.000-05:00

Okay, listen up, and listen close because I'm only going to say this once.

Iron Man is the greatest superhero movie ever made.
So far.

Discuss.

Day Whatever - Exodus and Leviticus

2008-05-07T10:50:00.004-05:00

Yeah - whatever. I know I'm way behind in reading, and even further behind in posting. Sue me.

I'll say this about Exodus: It is even more epic in scope than Genesis - for about 20 chapters. After the giving of the Ten Commandments, it's all downhill. Regulations, dimensions of the tabernacle, blueprints for the Ark of the Covenant, and on and on and on. Where were they getting all those skins of sea-cows (that is; dugongs) to cover everything with?
Since the story of the Exodus is probably one of the most well-known in all of history, I won't belabor the point with copious notes on what the plagues mean, or the story about Moses and Zipporah's wacky incident with their son's foreskin (see a pattern emerging here?). What I will say is this:
I LOVE PRINCE OF EGYPT. Love it. You should watch it again.

Sooo - Leviticus.
Not much to say about Leviticus except this: God is thorough. Every legal eventuality is covered here. No Israelite could ever ask, "Yeah, but what if..." Nope. It's in there. Also - the rule about rules is that they probably wouldn't have to be made if somebody hadn't been guilty of whatever it is they are ruling against in the first place. In other words - chances are SOMEBODY in the camp was lying with man as one lies with a woman. SOMEBODY in the camp was offering their children to Molech (the god who causes children to pass through the fire). SOMEBODY was having sexual relations with an animal. And I'm sure everybody knew who it was, too. Well congratulations, buddy! You've got a verse in Leviticus with your name on it. You're practically famous... except it's for bestiality.

Anyway - the coolest thing ever about Leviticus is the Year of Jubilee. Every 50th year, all debts are forgiven, all slaves are freed, and all land that was bought or sold reverts back to its original owner. And do you know why? Because land belongs to the LORD, and you are just aliens and tenants in it, that's why, sucka.
There's also a thing called the sabbath YEAR. For six years you are to work the ground of your field, but in the seventh year you gotta leave it alone. No plowing, planting, or harvesting. God promises to give you enough in year six for three years - just in case. Even the earth gets a sabbath! Preach!

Any reading of Jewish laws is bound to scandalize the aspiring feminist or abolitionist. But when studied in the historical context, these laws are often huge jumps in women's rights from the existing culture. For example - Israelites are instructed that anytime they rape a woman, or seduce a virgin, they must pay the "bride-price" for her, and bring her into their house. Of course, this isn't much of a curve, but it's an upward curve nonetheless in the treatment of women in ancient cultures. It's a curve that continues well into the New Testament, and, I would say, today. A similar curve exists, I think regarding slavery - although it is much slower than that regarding women. Others have pointed out that it seems like no such moral curve exists in scripture when it comes to sexuality.

Lastly- what the bleep is a "wave offering"? That's gotta be one of the most hilarious things I've ever read. Never heard of it before now. Thanks a lot preachers and seminary professors!

A World Without Rules...

2008-04-25T13:35:00.004-05:00

Whew! I haven't been following all of the viral marketing for the Dark Knight movie, and believe me there has been a TON of it, but this is the latest reveal from whysoserious.com.
It's not as impressive to me as some of the others have been. In fact, this one just screams out to me - "That head-piece looks nothing like the comics!" Other than that, it's pretty cool. I'm pretty excited about all the movies coming up this year. Besides this there's Iron Man, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Incredible Hulk, Prince Caspian, Star Trek, Speed Racer, 007 - Quantum of Solace, Wanted, Hancock, Get Smart, and The X-Files 2: I Want To Believe!!! It's going to be a busy one. Abz and I are going to kick it off by going to see Baby Mama this weekend. I shore am a sucker for some Tina Fey.

Days 3 and 4 - Genesis 28:20-40:11 and 40:12-50:26

2008-04-25T12:25:00.004-05:00

What an epic two days! The story of Jacob and Joseph is the stuff movies are made from! It's a brilliant bronze-age tale. It's got everything - trickeration, sexytime, war, famine, infighting, work, love, separation and reconciliation - but it won't let us forget how primitive these people and times were. I'm trying to cut down on the notes, but keep in mind this is two days worth.
Now - new and improved with links to the described passages at Biblegateway.com!

Chapter 29
- My old Hebrew professor told us that "Leah" means "cow". Awesome!

Chapters 30 & 31
- I love how they gave their children names that meant something about the circumstances surrounding their birth. I wish more people did this today - but I'm afraid if they did the most common name of 2008 would end up being Whoops!, or VanHalenTourMilwaukee. Incidentally, the most commonly given boys' name for 2006 (the last year on record) was Jacob. So how 'bout that.

- See, now this is why polygamy is a problem.

Chapter 32
- See, now the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel is absolutely one of the coolest things ever. It says so much about the journey of Jacob's life, and who he has become. When we first meet Jacob, the "heel-snatcher", the "trickster", he lives up to his name. The first time we see him posed with the question "Who are you?" (by his father, Isaac, when he steals his brother's blessing), he pretends to be someone else. Not comfortable in his own skin, or playing his own role - not content with the station allotted to him in life - he denies being Jacob at all.

Since then he has fled for his life from Esau, encountered God at Bethel, worked for years on Laban's farm, married the wrong woman, then the right one, had a multitude of sons, and brokered a deal with Laban to make himself rich. He has undergone quite a maturing process. Now, when asked, "Who are you?" or "What is your name?" he is finally ready to respond, "Jacob". And no sooner has he done so, but God changes his name to Israel.

Chapter 34
- Not a ton of notes on this Chapter, but I did find it sadly hilarious what Jacob's sons did to the man who raped their sister, and then asked to pleasepleaseplease marry her.
"I tell you what. Why don't you and all of your men have this primitive genital mutilation ritual performed on yourselves - and then we'll talk."
2 days later, they're all limping and sore...
"Okay guys... we did what you asked! (ouch) Now can I marry your si-SLICECUTKILLDIE!
Awesome.

Chapter 38
- Ahh, the famous prooftext on masturbation.
For the record - Onan was struck dead for not producing and heir with his dead brother's wife like he was supposed to, not for "spilling his semen on the ground".

Chapters 40 &41
- Ahhh, Joseph - the fresh-faced little spoiled brat of Jacob's brood. Told all 10 of his older brothers about a dream he had where they would all bow down to him. It's what got him sold off to Egypt in the first place. Now, here he using his dream-interpreting skills to get out of jail, and find favor with Pharoah. Vindicated!

Chapters 42-44
- Joseph must have been absolutely relishing this opportunity to mess with his brothers, after what he had done to him. Didn't he have the right to be angry? I think his point of view on the whole incident was really interesting. What they intended for ill, God intended for good, therefore they didn't send him to Egypt - God did. What an interesting insight for all of us when our circumstances seem to take a turn for the worse.

Chapter 45
- I would really like to have been a scarab beetle on the palace wall for Joseph's big reveal.

- Don't do it boys! 400 years of oppression! Bricks without straw! Bricks without straaaawwwwww.....

That's it for Genesis.
Exodus tomorrow.

Day 2 - Genesis 17:1-28:19

2008-04-22T18:53:00.006-05:00

I've really gotta ease up on the notes.
Starting tomorrow, of course.

- Genesis 17:5 - a name change. See yesterday.

- In Genesis 17:11 God institutes circumcision as a way of identifying His covenant with Abraham and his descendants. Really? Circumcision? There's not a better way of identifying the "chosen people"? There's not a less-painful, less-traumatic, perhaps more-noticeable way? Ideally - most people will never know whether a person is circumcised or not, correct?

The other freaky thing is - context suggests that circumcision was already a thing.
I mean - God and Abraham didn't invent it here, they just adopted it.
Somebody else, at some point, thought it would be a great idea to take a flint-knife to their foreskin... or someone else's.

-Genesis 17:15 - another name change.
God: "I will decide who you are. Nobody else."

- Why is it so ridiculous to Abraham and Sarah that they would have children at 100 and 90, respectively? Abraham's own father was 70 when he was born. Only 10 generations ago, Shem - who was still alive at this point (do the math! Or check out this chart) - had a child at 100 years of age.

- Genesis 18:13-15. This exchange between Sarah, Abraham and God made me laugh.

- Genesis 18:20-33 is Abraham bartering with God to spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. A few observations here. 1) Abraham actually believes his conversation with God can affect the outcome. 2) It does. 3) Why does he stop at 10 faithful men? Why doesn't he go all the way to 1? Especially since he knows Lot and his family are there.

- Genesis 19:8. That dude Lot sold his daughters out to a porchload of sexual deviants a little too quickly for my taste.

- Genesis 19:13. Where is this "outcry" against Sodom coming from? The neighbors? Lot's daughters?

- After their Mom is turned into a pillar of salt, Lot's daughters get him drunk and take turns getting pregnant by him. To them, it seems a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Like a post-apocalyptic, last-man-on-earth scenario. To me, it sounds like the kind of scarred-psyche thinking that results from knowing your father would hand you over to a city full of angelphiles with a penchant for buggery.

- In Genesis 20, we again have Abraham saying that Sarah is his sister, so that the locals don't figure her for his wife and kill him for her. She's taken and almost taken advantage of by the local prefect. What I don't get is that, at this point - SARAH IS MORE THAN 90 YEARS OLD!

- Genesis 24:3. The phrase "put your hand under my thigh", sounds a little pull-my-finger-ish. The textual note in my Bible says, "Near the organ of procreation, probably because this oath was related to Abraham's last will and testament, and called for obedience on the part of Isaac."
Either way. Ew.

- Genesis 25:25. Esau, also known as Edom. Edom means "red", and is a version of Adam, which means "dirt". Both are plays on the word for the red clay indigenous to the region.

- Genesis 25:26. Jacob means, literally, "heel-snatcher", and figuratively, "trickster". What's in a name?

- Genesis 26:7. Wife? Sister? Wife? Sister? Like father like son, I guess. Weren't Abraham and Isaac ever afraid that somebody would eventually sleep with their wives because they didn't realize they were already married?

The Bible, Day 1 - Genesis 1:1 - 16:16

2008-04-22T15:19:00.005-05:00

The world's greatest small group (ours) has decided to read through the Bible in 90 Days. We're using the plan in this book. 12 pages a day for 90 days. Abby and I read day 1 last night, and I decided to make some notes to post here. Look for this to be ongoing. Either that or I am a backslidden apostate on a fast train to Hellville. Your guess is as good as mine.

Here we go:
- During the creation account, Day 2 is the only day that is not called "good". It's true. Go back and read it again. I didn't notice this on my own, somebody had to point it out to me. But now I can't read Genesis 1 without thinking about it. Creation scientists would say that it's because that's the day God created the "firmament" (KJV) - a highly compressed layer of water that surrounded the earth in its upper atmosphere. They theorize that God knew he would later destroy this layer of water when he flooded the world (see Noah, Ark, Genesis 7), so he refrained from calling it "good". I, however, do not consider myself a creation scientist.

- Genesis 1:29-30 (you're gonna have to go back and look these up yourself. It can only help you.) This is before the fall. Before sin entered the world. When things were as God had created them and intended them to be. Did God intend for all men and beasts to be vegetarians/herbivores? It seems so from this verse. This would also suggest that there was no death before sin entered the world - not even animals killed for food - which makes sense to me, since death comes as a result of sin. Well, maybe there was large-scale plant death - but nobody cares about plants. They're not real life. Right?

- Maybe this is a little too John Eldredge - but Genesis 2 reminds me that Eve was created in the Garden, and that Adam was created somewhere else and "placed" in the Garden.

- Genesis 2:19, 20 - Assigning a name to something/someone means you have authority over them. Adam and the animals... parents and their children. This will become more important when we consider Abram/Abraham, Jacob/Israel, Saul/Paul, etc.

- Genesis 3:3 - Eve tells the serpent that God told them they weren't to eat of the fruit of that tree, or even touch it, which is a step beyond what God actually said. Since Eve wasn't around at the time God gave this order, I'm wondering if Adam told her that part - "Look - don't even touch it!" - just to cover his butt. How'd that work out for you, bro?

- Genesis 3:22 - Apparently, the Tree of Life is a completely different thing than the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. I have more thoughts on this than I'd like to type here. But woe unto my small group on Sunday!

- Cain and Abel. (HT to Brian McLaren on this)
Cain (Farmer. Field owner)... KILLED Abel (Shepherd. Livestock owner) in a field!
Two livelihoods that are fundamentally in conflict.
McLaren suggests that these two represent huge shifts in human culture. One agrarian, tied to the land for life, prone to accumulating stuff, nervous about protecting its boundaries and interests. And the other nomadic, free to wander, trusting in God to provide new land for animals to graze in. Perhaps Cain killed Abel over a boundary dispute. I fear I've said too much already.

- I have no idea what Genesis 4:26 means.
"At that time, people began to call upon the name of the Lord."

- Genesis 6:4 is one of the classic "What the!?!" verses in the entire Bible. I love Madeline L'Engle's book Many Waters, and its take. She tells a story where the Nephilim and Seraphim are angelic beings, 9 feet tall and beautiful, who also take the form of some animal. They scandalously intermarry with the daughters of men. It's fiction, of course, but interesting fiction, nonetheless.

- Noah entered the ark on the 17th day of the 2nd month, and finally exited the ark on the 27th day of the 2nd month - 1 year and 10 days later! I'm not sure what the calendar differences are between them and us, but I do know this - that is one long stinky boat ride.

- Genesis 9:3 - God officially opens up animals as an option for food. Meat is no longer murder. Why now? Why wait this long?

- Genesis 10:25 - "To Eber were born two sons: the name of the one was Peleg, for in his days the earth was divided" Not sure what the heck that means. Commentaries and the New Living Translation tell me it might refer to the Tower of Babel, when people began to speak different languages, and went separate ways. But I certainly wouldn't get that from a straight reading of most translations.

That's all for Day 1. Stay tuned - I'm off now to read for Day 2.

Awesome!

2008-04-15T17:19:00.003-05:00

(click to enlargify)

How To Be Good

2008-04-15T16:30:00.005-05:00

Well, mission accomplished. I just finished How To Be Good by Nick Hornby. I must say, it was a very enjoyable read. I have missed reading fiction, and this was a welcome Renaissance. It took me about a week, and quite frankly could have taken half that time if I wanted. It was refreshing to find a book that I would pick up in favor of turning on the TV. I confess that it is difficult to steal my affection from television. After all, we've been together so long.

The book itself is the story told from the perspective of Katie, a successful doctor in the town of Leeds in the central part of England. She becomes dissatisfied with her marriage to David, a newspaper columnist known as "the angriest man in Holloway". Kind of like an Andy Rooney, or a Peter Griffin "What Grinds My Gears" kind of columnist. After dropping the D-bomb (divorce) on him, the couple struggles to decide what to do about their failing relationship when David undergoes a radical spiritual transformation. No longer "the angriest man in Holloway", he sets out on a mission to change the world - starting with his family. Katie who was unsure about the man he was, finds this new David almost unrecognizable, and struggles with questions about his worldview, and what it means for their already shaky marriage. It's a hilarious, complex, intelligent story that, in the end, asks the question - Is it really possible to change the world, when it's so very difficult to change yourself?

Since I liked How To Be Good so much, I've decided to move on to another Nick Hornby effort - A Long Way Down. From what I can tell, it's about four strangers who happen upon each other on the roof of a London building famous as a last stop for those about to end their lives, and the conversations they have with each other about their reasons for wanting to do so.

Anybody read this one before?
If you have, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.
Billy - I'd also like to hear what you think of How To Be Good, if you're anywhere near finished.
After this, if I'm not too burned out on Hornby - I might go ahead and read High Fidelity, even though I said I would avoid the ones that had been made into movies that I had seen. After that - maybe some Tolkein, or maybe I'll do what Abby has started doing, and pick Desire of the Everlasting Hills back up.

The "meh" heard 'round the world!

2008-04-11T11:14:00.007-05:00

Amid sub-zero temperatures in the underworld, flocks of pigs in V-formation, and the trauma of flying monkeys escaping from rectums worldwide - several sources are reporting that it is here!!
It's finally here!!

CHINESE DEMOCRACY!
No, kids. Not actual Democracy in China. Don't be silly.

I'm talking about the long, long, long-awaited (but I'm not sure by whom) new album from Guns 'N Roses.
(Featuring exactly 1 of the original band members. It's like if Credence Clearwater Re-Visited put out an album of new music.)
Apparently, Axl has finally handed over the finished product to Geffen records for release. Rumors are it will be accompanied by either a production documentary feature, or a reality TV show.
What took so long, you might ask?

(HT to The Onion)

Thoughtlets...

2008-04-08T12:16:00.015-05:00

- Bikes
Abby and I bought ourselves a couple of bikes this weekend. Here is a picture of what I got, except mine is solid orange-ish red. It's a Mongoose. The seat is VERY uncomfortable, and has left an indelible impression on my butt. We're not hardcore biker-folk like some of our friends but we've been saying for a while that it would be cool to have some bikes to ride around the neighborhood when the weather is nice. Also it's cool to get our heart rates up on nights when we can't make it to the gym.

On Sunday afternoon I rode my bike to Langham Creek High School from my house to play football with some guys from church. Then I rode it home. Then I went to church that night and played Dodgeball with like a hundred youth. Then I passed out by 10:30, and didn't wake up until 12:30 p.m. on Monday. Then I got out of bed and prayed to God to let me walk again someday.

- Books
I had been thinking recently that I don't read enough fiction. I don't read enough non-fiction either, really. There are roughly eleventy bazillion and one books that I have started and abandoned. Like Desire of the Everlasting Hills, which has been in my right-hand column over there for almost a year. It's a great book, don't get me wrong. It has just fallen victim to my lack of focus and large blocks of reading-time.

So last week I had Gigi the bookstore lady at church order me a copy of House by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. A nice juicy fiction book. I sat and read most of it in like a day, and was really enjoying it. It's like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre/The Hills Have Eyes/Cube/Saw hybrid. I actually recommended it to some people just as I was about to finish it. Then I read the last couple of chapters.

Why does every book by a Christian author have to have such a lame ending? Why's it gotta be all preachy? Why does it always have to end up being some lame religious allegory where the light quite literally overcomes the darkness, or the willful death of the innocent character ends up being the undoing of the evil character? It would be one thing if that's the kind of book it was for 30 some-odd chapters. But right around 35-40, it became all redemptive and predictable.

The whole experience was kind of like kissing your sister. Yes - YOUR sister (Shut up, Billy). I enjoyed reading a fictional work that I didn't want to put down, but in the end it ended up sucking. I should have known better.

So I've decided to declare a moratorium on all the religious and non-fiction stuff I currently have in the pipeline, (Sorry Desire of the Everlasting Hills. Sorry Church Re-Imagined. Sorry The Shack. Sorry The Bible) and just focus on one nice fiction read until I finish it. Just kidding about that Bible one. Anyway - I'm going with How To Be Good by Nick Hornby (the High Fidelity, Fever Pitch, About A Boy guy). An interesting read so far, especially knowing that Abby just finished reading it a few weeks ago. It's about a woman, already dissatisfied in her marriage, whose husband undergoes an extreme spiritual conversion, and how she must deal with it.

Anyway - Sorry other books. I'm in a monogamous relationship now. I don't have time for flirting with you anymore. It was time for me to make a commitment to one book, all the way through - and I've chosen How To Be Good. It's smart, funny, interesting, and it doesn't make me feel stupid like you sometimes did. So please - don't call. Don't write. Don't wait for me on the back of the toilet. I don't want to see you anymore. Not for a long while, anyway.

I had a few other thoughtlets today, but they can wait until tomorrow.
Or later on today.

Your new favorite blog (with apologies to go brain, go!)

2008-04-04T12:35:00.003-05:00

I guarantee this will become your new favorite blog and mine.

Stuff Christians Like

Best rip-off ever of the popular Stuff White People Like blog - in keeping with #1 on the list - Putting a God Spin on Popular Secular Ideas.

You must read now.

In strangely related news, #7 on that list is Stryper.

The other night I was watching R.E.M. on the Colbert Report, and Michael Stipe mentioned Stryper as their influence during the 80's.
Score one for the yellow and black attack!!

Is this wrong...

2008-04-03T14:29:00.005-05:00

The truck from Comcast has been outside my neighbor's house a couple of times in the last week or two.
That seems like a lot to me.
And if I were the CEO of Comcast it would probably seem like really bad advertising for my company.
So - if I were the CEO of Comcast, and I knew my trucks would frequently be seen outside of the same person's house for repairs, I would make a very strategic marketing move.
Instead of slapping a Comcast magnet on the outside of each truck, I would have some Dish Network or DIRECTV magnets printed up, and put them on my Comcast trucks.

Is that wrong?

The Rabbi says...

2008-04-03T11:35:00.004-05:00

"You have to be so totally disconnected from the pain of the world to think that blogging is somehow a redemptive use of your time."

- Rob Bell in Q &A: Rob Bell Tells It Like It Is, Relevant Magazine - January/February 2008 Issue

Zing!-ed by the rabbi once again!
(see this previous post for his first, more personal insult to me.)
But I'm not bitter.

Being Reel Careful

2008-04-03T10:48:00.003-05:00

Robert has a post up at his blog about movie nights for youth groups, and what to show at them. It's a great question, and one I have struggled with over and over again for movie nights, long charter bus rides, and Disciple Now sleepovers.

What are some entertaining and appropriate choices for movie night? It's a fine line to walk. I would never dream of exposing my students to crap like Facing The Giants, but is it ever okay to show Pulp Fiction? I have a friend who has, and shows stuff like that to his group all the time. I don't think I'd be comfortable with that, but what would I be comfortable with?

Is there a level of acceptable profanity? Does it matter which words are used? Even the S-word is commonly used in PG films, but on a bus full of Middle and High School students, you can't hear the movie for all the "ohhhh!"'s and "what!?"'s every time they say it. PG-13 films (appropriate for 13 year olds?) are even allowed a certain quota of F-words. And those things sneak up on you. You might remember what you're watching as a perfectly acceptable family flick, that you've watched a million times before. But when you watch it with students, you notice language, content and situations you would have never even blinked at before. It's like watching it with your parents, or grandparents.

Maybe it's just an indicator about how hypocritical we all are in our church/home lives. We're all watching these movies at home, but when we watch them together on a bus, we're like Baptists running into each other at the liquor store. Sooo appalled.

The point is - you can only watch The Princess Bride and Labyrinth so many times. Actually - I'm pretty sure Bowie's - ahem - "hose-pipe syndrome" in that flick is offensive enough. And I'm not sure how many cartoon or computer animated features my High Schoolers will endure before there's a mutiny, and I'm left standing on the side of the road, while the bus pulls away showing Seasons 1-5 of Family Guy and the Flight of the Conchords DVD. Oh - and until there's a complete REVOLUTION in the way "Christian" or "Inspirational" films are made - I'll not be showing any of that drivel.

So what are some really good movies that you'd consider appropriate for a youth group movie night, or, let's sayyyy - a 16 hour charter bus trip to Glorieta, NM June 22-28, 2008?

6 Questions

2008-04-02T16:16:00.004-05:00

Tonight the 12th grade guys small group and the 11th and 12th grade girls small group are meeting together at my house. I'm trying something a little bit different with them. Instead of using a curriculum or a video or something to teach, I have chosen a passage of scripture (John Chapter 9, about the man born blind) and will ask them the following series of questions to answer in groups of 2 or 3.

The questions, to be asked and discussed one at a time are as follows:

1. What do you like best about this passage?
2. What do you like least about this passage?
3. What do you not understand about this passage?
4. What do you learn about God from this passage?
5. Based on what you read and learned from this passage, what do you personally need to do?
6. What phrase or verse from this passage do you want to take with you?

The disclaimer is: These questions didn't come from me.
A few weeks ago, on a retreat with the staff, advisors, and lay-leadership of our church, a consultant named Carol Davis did this exercise as a devotional with us. She actually used the Luke 10:1-7 passage where Jesus sends out the 72.

My first reaction was, "Who gives a crap what I like, or dislike about a passage from scripture?! What does that have to do with anything?" But I was really surprised at how well the whole exercise worked with our leadership group.

Afterward, she asked how often we had been in Bible Studies that had focused so much on scripture. Ouch. Too often we have been guilty of relying on books, videos, and materials that use scripture only marginally, and calling it "Bible Study". Kind of like the "Bible Study" I did with the college students using Blue Like Jazz, and the study guide from it. Kind of silly.

Anyway - then she asked an even better question - How hard would it be for the average person to lead a B.S. using this method? Not very. So that will be the question for my students tonight. Couldn't you lead a B.S. if it was this simple? Maybe at your school? Maybe for a group of Middle Schoolers, or younger High Schoolers? Maybe for your family?

I understand that a study that follows these questions every week (or every day) might seem tedious after a while - but really the point is not to answer the questions, but to answer the questions in a group, and hear others answer them about different passages of scripture.

Anybody got any thoughts about this kind of thing?

I Dwink YOUR Miwkshake!

2008-03-29T15:03:00.001-05:00

Dear Blurried,

2008-03-26T11:56:00.006-05:00

(Mostly in response to Shane's post over at Blurried.)

Okay, so - here's the thing, and no, this is not about to become an American Idol blog.
Last night during David Cook's performance I was slack-jawed and drooling.
I was amazed.
Not only does that song hold no small amount of sentimental value for me, but i thought to myself,

"This kid must be some kind of re-arrangement genius."

I was floored.
Then I rewound my DVR, only to hear Seacrest introduce it as Chris Cornell's version of Billie Jean.

Now I'm not as impressed.
Also - isn't that cheating a little bit?
I mean, if the theme is "Songs From The Year I Was Born", then using a version of it that didn't exist until more than a decade later seems like an unfair advantage.

I wish Chikezie would have had that option - because that dude's really entertaining, and sang the heck out of a song that was really dated.

Don't misunderstand - David Cook's performance was BY FAR the best of the night. He was a total standout. With this performance, and last week's version of Day Tripper (also VERY cool), he has finally found a spot in the competition that he deserves, whereas a few weeks ago, I would have gladly traded him for Cruella Deville just for novelty's sake.

Abby said it, and I agree. It would be cool for that guy to win American Idol. Either way, he'll probably be famous. But I'm just afraid he's going to get stuck as the front man for some Daughtry-esque Nickelback clone. And the world's got at least 2 too many of those already.

To summarize:
Tap natch performance by David Cook: Check
Killer cool arrangement by Chris Cornell: Check
Unfair advantage over other contestants, and questionable integrity: Check, check!

-------

Next item on today's Idol-themed post made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

When they announced that Kristy Lee Cook would be singing, Proud To Be An American, I couldn't help but groan. I continued my groaning all the way through her dismal, bored performance of the worlds second cheesiest song (not even good enough to be the cheesiest).
It wasn't the surprising raves that she got from the judges that cracked me up, it was this comment from Simon,

"If I'm not mistaken, that song was written by a man named Lee Greenwood. Brilliant writer. Brilliant song."

In summary:
Respect for Simon's musical "expertise": ______

(that's NO CHECK in case you were wondering...)

Man...

2008-03-12T14:03:00.001-05:00

... somebody should totally post something here.

U23D

2007-12-14T11:00:00.001-06:00

What doesn't kill you makes you ... stranger.....

2007-12-14T10:34:00.000-06:00

Just released! A pair of International Teaser posters for The Dark Knight. HOLY FREAKIN' COW!

Dude - Cloverfield.

2007-12-14T10:31:00.001-06:00

5 freakin' minutes of the movie! What the heck is this about?

ZING!

2007-12-12T12:02:00.000-06:00

Robert has become a ministry god because Doug Pagitt posted a letter he wrote a few days ago (a letter that i would agree was excellent). It is now my goal to quote Robert as much as possible within my posts and thereby raise my ministry street cred.

Robert is cooler than me because he never ever ever mentioned it - unlike some people whose egos are in such need of a stroke that they send out the link in an e-mail to everybody they know.

Seriously, dude - I was reading that post not knowing it was you, and thinking, "Man, I can totally relate to that guy." Then when I got to the point where you mentioned Stevens Point, Wisconsin I thought - "Hey! Robert lives there!" I'm an idiot. I should have known it was you at "CHRIST-mas lights".

Shalom.

P.S. I am totally writing a book called:
Ministry god Marriage Counseling by Robert Terrell by J.T.

No kidding. The manuscript is a Word document in my My Documents folder. Look for it at your local retailer this Spring - just in time to make a perfect shower gift for June brides!