Elementary!

I've spent most of today writing essay questions in preparation for my Church History mid-term exam tomorrow. My professor is Miles Mullin, unfortunate older brother of Shane Mullin, for those of you who know that guy. Professor Mullin gave us 4 potential essay questions, of which 3 will appear on the test, of which we must answer exactly 2. So - I don't have to prepare all four of them. But if I prepare 3 of them, and one of those does not appear on the exam, I'm golden. If I only prepare two of them, that's a gamble, because there's a chance that one out of two may not appear on the test. One is right out. So there's that. I've been doing that all day. Which lead to my search for distractions much of the afternoon. Which resulted in my stumbling across this news:

New pictures have surfaced of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law portraying Sherlock Holmes and Dr. James Watson respectively, in a new film by Guy Ritchie. I've known about the film for some time, but hadn't seen pictures until today. Here's a taste:
You can click these to see more pictures.

Anyway - the people who know me best know that I have always loved the character Sherlock Holmes and have devoured every single story Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ever wrote about him. My fascination with Sherlock Holmes started at a very young age - elementary school, probably - when I was given a rather thick anthology of the Strand stories by an aunt of mine. In fact, my love for the character is what led, ultimately to my obsession with Batman - also known as "the Worlds Greatest Detective".

Anyway - I only bring it up to express a little disappointment in the way Downey looks as Holmes. Based on my reading of the stories, and the illustrations by Sidney Paget which accompanied Doyle's serials in The Strand, I always imagined Sherlock Holmes one of two ways. Either well-dressed in the style of the late 19th century, sometimes in a large overcoat and hat (not necessarily his signature deerstalker cap) - or in a dressing gown and robe, indulging in some questionable substances in the privacy of his own rooms at 221B Baker Street. Robert Downey Jr. looks like a cross between Charlie Chaplin and Oliver Twist. Maybe he's in one of Holmes' famous disguises (another trait Batman picks up), or maybe RDJ is just trying to get into character by wearing some period clothing. If you look at the other pictures, it's clear that his sneakers are NOT period. Neither is his coffee.

Either way - I think Robert Downey Jr. is a pretty amazing actor. And I like the look they've got going with Jude Law's Dr. Watson. I'm really excited about a Sherlock Holmes movie with these two, and I hope it will remain faithful to the source material. Apparently Amy Adams is playing Irene Adler in the film, too. I wonder if they have an awesome Moriarty. I recommend Michael Emerson who plays Benjamin Linus on LOST. Ben Linus uses the name Moriarty on one of his fake passports in the show. Also he's kind of amazing - in a scary, diabolical kind of way.

I am also aware of another Sherlock Holmes film in production at Columbia Pictures starring Sascha Baron Cohen as Holmes and Will Ferrell as Watson. It's supposedly written by Ethan Coen, and produced by Judd Apatow. I am confident that it will be a travesty and an unmitigated failure.

Fey or Palin?

You make the call!
Check out this quiz from the Chicago Tribune.
From a series of pictures, you have to pick which ones are Sarah Palin, and which ones are Tina Fey.
I got 90%! There's one that's pretty tricky.

(HT to ysmarko)

Forget the Mayan Calendar...

...the world's going to end on Sunday, November 23rd 2008.

Because that's the day Chinese Democracy by Guns 'N Roses is finally scheduled to drop.
A Sunday, not a Tuesday like usual, the release is going to be a Best Buy exclusive.

As for the promise by the Dr. Pepper company to give everyone in America a free can of the stuff if the album released at any time during 2008, Dr. Pepper VP of Marketing, Tony Jacobs said, "if the rumors are true, we're putting the Dr. Pepper on ice."
Check out the Billboard.com article here.

Abz and I will actually be at National Youthworker Convention in Nashville that day. I'm going to petition Marko to give the disc away as a prize (To me. For the idea), and have a listening party with free Dr. Pepper!

We should trade jobs...

From an interview on CNN.com,

Colbert, who lives in New Jersey with his wife and kids, also touched upon one of his hobbies: teaching Sunday school. He's done it in the past and hopes to again next year.

"The great thing about teaching Sunday school is that these kids ask questions that even in college we thought were so deep," he said. Examples: What's beyond time? What came before God?

Then again, he said, sometimes they're just asking to go to the bathroom.
"And I say no."

Things I Would Eliminate by J.T.

Why are there fingernail clippers AND toenail clippers. And why are the fingernail clippers so much smaller? And don't tell me it's because fingers are smaller than toes - my thumbnail is definitely bigger than all but two of my toes (and that's counting both feet). Also - we use the biggest one (toenail clippers) to cut the smallest nail (the piggy who went "wee-wee"). And don't tell me you're supposed to switch back and forth between the big ones and the little ones on the same foot. That's the height of inefficiency. Is there some weird Talmudic precedent for not mixing toe jam and.... finger... jam? Is it not kosher? Just today I cut my thumbnail with toenail clippers, and I don't care who knows.

So I propose the elimination of one or the other - most likely the fingernail ones, the little ones.
All in favor say "aye".

Consume This:

There is a church not too far from us that recently added a $25 million addition to their building. Our local newspaper ran a front-page story not too long ago about a study revealing that one in five people in our city lives in poverty. This is a book about those two numbers.

It's a book about faith and fear,

wealth and war,

poverty, power, safety, terror,

Bibles, bombs, and homeland insecurity,

It's about empty empires and the truth that everybody's a priest, it's about oppression, occupation, and what happens when Christians support, animate and participate in the very things Jesus came to set people free from.

It's about what it means to be a part of the church of Jesus in a world where some people fly planes into buildings while others pick up groceries in Hummers.

Jesus Wants to Save Christians by Rob Bell and Don Golden.

Yom Kippur

Blow the trumpet in Zion,
declare a holy fast,
call a sacred assembly...
Joel 2:15

From the Yiddish play, The Dybbuk;

God's world is great and holy. The holiest land in the world is the land of Israel. In the land of Israel, the holiest city is Jerusalem. In Jerusalem, the holiest place is the temple, and in the Temple, the holiest spot was the Holy of Holies...

There are seventy peoples in the world. The holiest among these is the people of Israel. The holiest of the people of Israel is the tribe of Levi. In the tribe of Levi, the holiest are the priests. Among the priests, the holiest was the High Priest...

There are 354 days in the [lunar] year. Among these, the holidays are holy. Higher than these is the holiness of the Sabbath. Among Sabbaths, the holiest is the Day of Atonement, the Sabbath of Sabbaths...

There are seventy languages in the world. The holiest is Hebrew. Holier than all else in this language is the holy Torah, and in the Torah, the holiest part is the Ten Commandments. In the Ten Commandments, the holiest of all words is the name of God...

And once during the year, at a certain hour, these four supreme sanctities of the world were joined with one another. That was on the Day of Atonement, when the High Priest would enter the Holy of Holies, and there utter the name of God. And because this hour was beyond measure holy and awesome, it was the time of the utmost peril, not only for the High Priest but for the whole of Israel. For if in this hour there had, God forbid, entered the mind of the High Priest a false or sinful thought, the entire world would have been destroyed.

(From Jewish Literacy by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin)

You'd think that it would just be common courtesy for them to inform - I don't know - the rest of civilization when they did this every year, just in case the world was destroyed one time.
Kind of reminds me of a few months ago when they finally fired up that Supercollider without really telling everyone it might result in a black hole that would basically destroy the fabric of our universe. Just a heads-up might have been nice.

Anyway, Baruch Ha-Shem!

All growned up...

About 11 weeks ago, after considering some other options, Abby and I decided to stay in the house we had been renting for about 18 months. As a gift to ourselves, we decided to do something we probably could not have done if we had moved to any of the places we had been considering:
We adopted.

We had been talking about it for a while. In fact, Abz had been on me to adopt another puppy (we already have Pixy, a 4-year-old Lab/Pit) for quite a while - probably since we moved into the house. She felt like Pixy probably could stand to be a little better socialized. Besides, only-children get spoiled. So we did some research, looked at some rescue organizations, and what they had available, and went to a PetsMart up in Tomball where S.A.F.E. House Rescue (Saving Animals From Euthanasia) was having a pet adoption fair.

There were a bunch of puppies there, including a brother and 2 sisters from the same litter. All three were from a litter that originally consisted of 6, but had lost 3 to Parvo. Because they were still getting shots to prevent Parvo, they told everyone that, even if adopted, none of those 3 puppies would go home with anybody until the shots were complete. At least a week or two. The boy and one of the girls was stark white, and the other sister was grey and white, like a wolf. We considered adopting the girl, Keelah, who was very popular that day, but in the end, we decided to go with the boy, who was far more laid back - like us. After talking to us, getting our application, seeing that we already had a good dog with a good home, and that Abz had a ton of experience with dogs, they decided to make an exception for us. So on July 12, 2008, we adopted an 11-week-old Lab/Husky puppy named Brewster. We brought him home, changed his name to Cash and instantly fell in love. Here he is that day:

(check him out at the S.A.F.E. House Rescue site!)

Here's a picture of him with Pixy, right after they met for the first time:
Part of the adoption fee with S.A.F.E. House included puppy training classes with The Pet Tutor, which we were very excited about. It took us a couple of weeks, but we finally got Cash enrolled, and wouldn't you know it - his sister Keelah was in the same class, which was kind of cool.

Well, here we are 6 weeks of Tuesday night classes (and 1 Hurricane Ike week off) later, and he is all growned up. Cash graduated from puppy school Tuesday night, and is about 22 weeks old now. Here's a picture of him recently:
How 'bout those ears? Like radar, man. More Husky than Lab every day. And he's gotten a little bit golden on the top of the head, and shoulders. I was never really a dog person, and definitely not a cat person. But I married a single dog-mom and became a convert. Now, I don't know what I'd do without those two. And Abby, too, I guess. Those three.

Happy Graduation, Cash-o-la!

No More Mr. Nice Guy...

Sheer Brilliance!!


Rev. Robert Terrell of Stevens Point Tapestry Church used this video in Tapestry's 2nd ever worship service this past week.

The Periodic Table of Awesoments

(click to enlargify!)

Found this on a site I discovered (read: clicked through to from ysmarko). Check out this image in its natural habitat over at Dapperstache.com. Billy - you'll love how Bacon is #1, the foundational building block of awesome. I personally love the fact that Batman is #3.

The Lamentable Tale of Cosmonaut Nikolai Peckmann

In 1976, Cosmonaut Nikolai Peckmann was sent alone to an orbiting space station for what would be called Mission Six- to study the radiation levels and strange circumstances that killed all four crewmen of the last research mission.
By the third day, Peckmann's broken transmissions were coming back to ground control filled with increasing paranoia and delusion. He claimed that the spirits of the dead cosmonauts were coming to claim him, and that he had to keep moving to evade them. He shouted that if he could capture and consume these spirits himself while he still had strength, he could move to the next level of consciousness...Truly the rantings of an insane man.
Indeed, video recovered later would show Peckmann running around the confined but maze-like station, downing emergency sedatives like a madman....pausing in a corner momentarily, only to throw back vitamin pills and give chase to his invisible demons.
He had exhausted the entire cargo of vitamins, pills, and fresh fruit well ahead of schedule. There was no way another crew could be assembled to rescue him before he starved. After one rather violently garbled transmission, the static cleared and the last live image on record is that of Peckmann's empty, wilted spacesuit on the cabin floor.
It was determined that another mission to recover any remains or gather any more research would be a waste of the people's money, and the station was allowed to drift out of orbit and into space- a failure never to be mentioned again. It was ordered and assumed that all video and paper evidence had been destroyed.

..then, at the dawn of the eighties, a fledgling arcade game company called NAMCO would stumble across the transcripts of these events, and the rest -as they say- is history.

Okay, none of that is true. But you can buy the t-shirt and read the story here.

Barack Roll'd!

It's a good thing I'm not rich...

... or I might end up doing this kind of crap with my money.

WHEW!

RE: the previous post RE: the Dark Knight

And check out this article from cnn.com.

J.T.'s offical thoughts RE: The Dark Knight

Since when did they cast THIS GUY to play Batman??

Seriously - what the freaking heck is up with that stupid voice Christian Bale is using when he's wearing that outfit? That stupid black S.W.A.T. team outfit with the ridiculous helmet. You know the one. I refuse to acknowledge it as the Batman costume. Anyway - I noticed the stupid voice in Batman Begins, but with as few lines as the Batman character actually had in that film, I was largely able to look past it. This time? Ugh. You gotta be kidding me. It sounds ridiculous.

I just have this vision in my head of Batman standing on the roof of the GCPD with Commissioner Gordon and some cops from the MCU, and as soon as Batman speaks - their eyes grow very large, they all pause for a second, and then collapse into a pile of laughing law-enforcers.

I mean, all that was missing was for him to refer to himself in the third person, or as "me".
As in:
"Me know where Joker keeping Harvey and Rachel! Ommm-num-num-num..."
"Batman looove justice! Mmm-num-num-num!"

To be perfectly honest - I've never loved Christian Bale for the role in the first place.
Sure, he's better than West, Keaton, Kilmer, and Clooney - but being better than other guys that sucked still doesn't make you good.

So my official line about The Dark Knight is that I loved every single frame of it, except Batman.
He was the worst part about this Batman movie.
Thank God that every single other character is absolutely phenomenally rendered.
Every one.
Heath Ledger's supposed posthumous Oscar? Sure. Why not. I bet he'll get nominated, but I don't think he'll win. Summer movies don't win Academy Awards, no matter how good the performance.

I still think I need to see it one more time on a regular size screen to really form my opinion about whether or not it is a crime drama on the level of The Departed, or Heat. Just a note - IMAX might actually be TOO big.

So there you go.
Have you seen it?
What did you think?

And you can quote me on this...

I don't think it has ever occurred to me to rinse the remaining Cool-Whip out of the bowl.
Ever.

Twitter

Oh yeah, this just in - I'm twittering.
If you have any idea what twitter is, I'd love for you to follow.
My profile page is www.twitter.com/theboy1der.

Goin back to Cali

My pastor was invited to a by-invitation-only conference at Saddleback Church, here in Lake Forest, California (outside of L.A.). He could invite one person, and whaddya know, he invited me. So here I am in the sanctuary of Saddlback church listening to a Panel discussion on Worship. Panel discussions have been the highlight of this conference so far. Yesterday there were 3 of them covering Evangelism, Fellowship and Preaching. The Preaching one featured a couple of guys, including Tim Keller, Erwin McManus, and Kerry Shook, which made for a very interesting discussion. I had never heard of Tim Keller before, but he was really great during the discussion. Other than him, I just wanted the other guys to shut up and let Erwin McManus speak. He was amazing. My feedback form from yesterday read, simply, "More Erwin please."

Anyway - not much else I'm really looking forward to at this conference, except the panel on Discipleship at 3pm that has a bunch of guys and Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill in Seattle. The other Mars Hill. Beyond that, I'm looking forward to dinner tonight at Pei Wei, and maybe getting back to the hotel in time for the American Idol finale (go Chikezie!).

The temperature here in the Saddleback valley is between 66 and 69 degrees. It's sunny, breezy, and the mountains look amazing. It's absolutely beautiful here. How could you not love it here*coughAbbyLeeThomascough* ?? No wonder people in L.A. are so thin and beautiful and happy. There's never any reason to go indoors and do things that make you fat and ugly and sad. Kind of like I'm doing now...

We're leaving the conference early tomorrow - before lunch - to catch our 2:30pm flight back to H-town. I'll have my camera out again as we go through the airport - on celebrity watch. No luck on the way in. Maybe on the way out I'll snap a shot of the back of Kevin Eubanks' head. If not, you'll just have to settle for Rick Warren, yo.

Camping Mocks The Homeless

Abby and I are going camping at Brazos Bend with our Young Adult small group tonight. I haven't been camping in a couple of years, but I'm pretty sure I have never been on a weekend when it was 90+ degrees outside. This is going to be the moistest, most soaking wet weekend ever.

Nevertheless, we are packing up our new tent, our citronella tiki torches, our hot dogs and buns, our pancake griddle, our bocce balls, our cards and dominoes, our sleeping bags and air mattresses, and our hiking shoes - and heading for the hills. Please pray against the spirit of mosquitos.

If we're not back on Sunday... send out a search party.

Frustratingly simple

This is a great little mind-bender of a game. Each board has the same objective - find the star. How you do that changes each time with no directions, you just have to figure it out.

Over the course of the last 2 days - I was able to get them all. Give it a try! You'll hate yourself until you figure it out - then you'll think you are the smartest person you know. Which, in my case, is actually true.

(HT to ysmarko for the link)

Ordered!

(Click to go there!)

A Long Way Down

A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby: Pretty interesting read, but not as interesting as How To Be Good. Less.... what's the word.... altruistic? - to be sure, and with a fair amount more profanity, which I'm not sure I'm quite used to in my books just yet. Which is weird because I hardly even notice it in movies or real life anymore.

It's the story of four very different individuals who encounter each other in the midst of a suicide attempt. Several of them have good reasons... several of them don't. What happens in the aftermath of their meeting, and subsequent non-death, is told from each of their perspectives and voices, which is what makes the story most interesting. No chapters in this book, just alternating voices, which was kind of cool. Overall, I'd give this book a C. It's entertaining, but not the kind of thing I didn't want to put down, or couldn't wait to pick back up. It actually suffered because of my recent Bible-readings, if you can believe it. If you like Nick Hornby, or have nothing else to read, then pick it up. If there's something else you can get excited about, walk on by this one.

For Billy...

... who will one day grow tired of me thinking about him whenever I see something Zombie-related.

(ripped cleanly from indexed.blogspot.com, which is a really funny site you should totally check out.)

Did he just?!.... Nahhh.....

Okay, listen up, and listen close because I'm only going to say this once.

Iron Man is the greatest superhero movie ever made.
So far.

Discuss.

Day Whatever - Exodus and Leviticus

Yeah - whatever. I know I'm way behind in reading, and even further behind in posting. Sue me.

I'll say this about Exodus: It is even more epic in scope than Genesis - for about 20 chapters. After the giving of the Ten Commandments, it's all downhill. Regulations, dimensions of the tabernacle, blueprints for the Ark of the Covenant, and on and on and on. Where were they getting all those skins of sea-cows (that is; dugongs) to cover everything with?
Since the story of the Exodus is probably one of the most well-known in all of history, I won't belabor the point with copious notes on what the plagues mean, or the story about Moses and Zipporah's wacky incident with their son's foreskin (see a pattern emerging here?). What I will say is this:
I LOVE PRINCE OF EGYPT. Love it. You should watch it again.

Sooo - Leviticus.
Not much to say about Leviticus except this: God is thorough. Every legal eventuality is covered here. No Israelite could ever ask, "Yeah, but what if..." Nope. It's in there. Also - the rule about rules is that they probably wouldn't have to be made if somebody hadn't been guilty of whatever it is they are ruling against in the first place. In other words - chances are SOMEBODY in the camp was lying with man as one lies with a woman. SOMEBODY in the camp was offering their children to Molech (the god who causes children to pass through the fire). SOMEBODY was having sexual relations with an animal. And I'm sure everybody knew who it was, too. Well congratulations, buddy! You've got a verse in Leviticus with your name on it. You're practically famous... except it's for bestiality.

Anyway - the coolest thing ever about Leviticus is the Year of Jubilee. Every 50th year, all debts are forgiven, all slaves are freed, and all land that was bought or sold reverts back to its original owner. And do you know why? Because land belongs to the LORD, and you are just aliens and tenants in it, that's why, sucka.
There's also a thing called the sabbath YEAR. For six years you are to work the ground of your field, but in the seventh year you gotta leave it alone. No plowing, planting, or harvesting. God promises to give you enough in year six for three years - just in case. Even the earth gets a sabbath! Preach!

Any reading of Jewish laws is bound to scandalize the aspiring feminist or abolitionist. But when studied in the historical context, these laws are often huge jumps in women's rights from the existing culture. For example - Israelites are instructed that anytime they rape a woman, or seduce a virgin, they must pay the "bride-price" for her, and bring her into their house. Of course, this isn't much of a curve, but it's an upward curve nonetheless in the treatment of women in ancient cultures. It's a curve that continues well into the New Testament, and, I would say, today. A similar curve exists, I think regarding slavery - although it is much slower than that regarding women. Others have pointed out that it seems like no such moral curve exists in scripture when it comes to sexuality.

Lastly- what the bleep is a "wave offering"? That's gotta be one of the most hilarious things I've ever read. Never heard of it before now. Thanks a lot preachers and seminary professors!

A World Without Rules...

Whew! I haven't been following all of the viral marketing for the Dark Knight movie, and believe me there has been a TON of it, but this is the latest reveal from whysoserious.com.
It's not as impressive to me as some of the others have been. In fact, this one just screams out to me - "That head-piece looks nothing like the comics!" Other than that, it's pretty cool. I'm pretty excited about all the movies coming up this year. Besides this there's Iron Man, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Incredible Hulk, Prince Caspian, Star Trek, Speed Racer, 007 - Quantum of Solace, Wanted, Hancock, Get Smart, and The X-Files 2: I Want To Believe!!! It's going to be a busy one. Abz and I are going to kick it off by going to see Baby Mama this weekend. I shore am a sucker for some Tina Fey.

Days 3 and 4 - Genesis 28:20-40:11 and 40:12-50:26

What an epic two days! The story of Jacob and Joseph is the stuff movies are made from! It's a brilliant bronze-age tale. It's got everything - trickeration, sexytime, war, famine, infighting, work, love, separation and reconciliation - but it won't let us forget how primitive these people and times were. I'm trying to cut down on the notes, but keep in mind this is two days worth.
Now - new and improved with links to the described passages at Biblegateway.com!

Chapter 29
- My old Hebrew professor told us that "Leah" means "cow". Awesome!

Chapters 30 & 31
- I love how they gave their children names that meant something about the circumstances surrounding their birth. I wish more people did this today - but I'm afraid if they did the most common name of 2008 would end up being Whoops!, or VanHalenTourMilwaukee. Incidentally, the most commonly given boys' name for 2006 (the last year on record) was Jacob. So how 'bout that.

- See, now this is why polygamy is a problem.

Chapter 32
- See, now the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel is absolutely one of the coolest things ever. It says so much about the journey of Jacob's life, and who he has become. When we first meet Jacob, the "heel-snatcher", the "trickster", he lives up to his name. The first time we see him posed with the question "Who are you?" (by his father, Isaac, when he steals his brother's blessing), he pretends to be someone else. Not comfortable in his own skin, or playing his own role - not content with the station allotted to him in life - he denies being Jacob at all.

Since then he has fled for his life from Esau, encountered God at Bethel, worked for years on Laban's farm, married the wrong woman, then the right one, had a multitude of sons, and brokered a deal with Laban to make himself rich. He has undergone quite a maturing process. Now, when asked, "Who are you?" or "What is your name?" he is finally ready to respond, "Jacob". And no sooner has he done so, but God changes his name to Israel.

Chapter 34
- Not a ton of notes on this Chapter, but I did find it sadly hilarious what Jacob's sons did to the man who raped their sister, and then asked to pleasepleaseplease marry her.
"I tell you what. Why don't you and all of your men have this primitive genital mutilation ritual performed on yourselves - and then we'll talk."
2 days later, they're all limping and sore...
"Okay guys... we did what you asked! (ouch) Now can I marry your si-SLICECUTKILLDIE!
Awesome.

Chapter 38
- Ahh, the famous prooftext on masturbation.
For the record - Onan was struck dead for not producing and heir with his dead brother's wife like he was supposed to, not for "spilling his semen on the ground".

Chapters 40 &41
- Ahhh, Joseph - the fresh-faced little spoiled brat of Jacob's brood. Told all 10 of his older brothers about a dream he had where they would all bow down to him. It's what got him sold off to Egypt in the first place. Now, here he using his dream-interpreting skills to get out of jail, and find favor with Pharoah. Vindicated!

Chapters 42-44
- Joseph must have been absolutely relishing this opportunity to mess with his brothers, after what he had done to him. Didn't he have the right to be angry? I think his point of view on the whole incident was really interesting. What they intended for ill, God intended for good, therefore they didn't send him to Egypt - God did. What an interesting insight for all of us when our circumstances seem to take a turn for the worse.

Chapter 45
- I would really like to have been a scarab beetle on the palace wall for Joseph's big reveal.

- Don't do it boys! 400 years of oppression! Bricks without straw! Bricks without straaaawwwwww.....

That's it for Genesis.
Exodus tomorrow.

Day 2 - Genesis 17:1-28:19

I've really gotta ease up on the notes.
Starting tomorrow, of course.

- Genesis 17:5 - a name change. See yesterday.

- In Genesis 17:11 God institutes circumcision as a way of identifying His covenant with Abraham and his descendants. Really? Circumcision? There's not a better way of identifying the "chosen people"? There's not a less-painful, less-traumatic, perhaps more-noticeable way? Ideally - most people will never know whether a person is circumcised or not, correct?

The other freaky thing is - context suggests that circumcision was already a thing.
I mean - God and Abraham didn't invent it here, they just adopted it.
Somebody else, at some point, thought it would be a great idea to take a flint-knife to their foreskin... or someone else's.

-Genesis 17:15 - another name change.
God: "I will decide who you are. Nobody else."

- Why is it so ridiculous to Abraham and Sarah that they would have children at 100 and 90, respectively? Abraham's own father was 70 when he was born. Only 10 generations ago, Shem - who was still alive at this point (do the math! Or check out this chart) - had a child at 100 years of age.

- Genesis 18:13-15. This exchange between Sarah, Abraham and God made me laugh.

- Genesis 18:20-33 is Abraham bartering with God to spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. A few observations here. 1) Abraham actually believes his conversation with God can affect the outcome. 2) It does. 3) Why does he stop at 10 faithful men? Why doesn't he go all the way to 1? Especially since he knows Lot and his family are there.

- Genesis 19:8. That dude Lot sold his daughters out to a porchload of sexual deviants a little too quickly for my taste.

- Genesis 19:13. Where is this "outcry" against Sodom coming from? The neighbors? Lot's daughters?

- After their Mom is turned into a pillar of salt, Lot's daughters get him drunk and take turns getting pregnant by him. To them, it seems a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Like a post-apocalyptic, last-man-on-earth scenario. To me, it sounds like the kind of scarred-psyche thinking that results from knowing your father would hand you over to a city full of angelphiles with a penchant for buggery.

- In Genesis 20, we again have Abraham saying that Sarah is his sister, so that the locals don't figure her for his wife and kill him for her. She's taken and almost taken advantage of by the local prefect. What I don't get is that, at this point - SARAH IS MORE THAN 90 YEARS OLD!

- Genesis 24:3. The phrase "put your hand under my thigh", sounds a little pull-my-finger-ish. The textual note in my Bible says, "Near the organ of procreation, probably because this oath was related to Abraham's last will and testament, and called for obedience on the part of Isaac."
Either way. Ew.

- Genesis 25:25. Esau, also known as Edom. Edom means "red", and is a version of Adam, which means "dirt". Both are plays on the word for the red clay indigenous to the region.

- Genesis 25:26. Jacob means, literally, "heel-snatcher", and figuratively, "trickster". What's in a name?

- Genesis 26:7. Wife? Sister? Wife? Sister? Like father like son, I guess. Weren't Abraham and Isaac ever afraid that somebody would eventually sleep with their wives because they didn't realize they were already married?

The Bible, Day 1 - Genesis 1:1 - 16:16

The world's greatest small group (ours) has decided to read through the Bible in 90 Days. We're using the plan in this book. 12 pages a day for 90 days. Abby and I read day 1 last night, and I decided to make some notes to post here. Look for this to be ongoing. Either that or I am a backslidden apostate on a fast train to Hellville. Your guess is as good as mine.

Here we go:
- During the creation account, Day 2 is the only day that is not called "good". It's true. Go back and read it again. I didn't notice this on my own, somebody had to point it out to me. But now I can't read Genesis 1 without thinking about it. Creation scientists would say that it's because that's the day God created the "firmament" (KJV) - a highly compressed layer of water that surrounded the earth in its upper atmosphere. They theorize that God knew he would later destroy this layer of water when he flooded the world (see Noah, Ark, Genesis 7), so he refrained from calling it "good". I, however, do not consider myself a creation scientist.

- Genesis 1:29-30 (you're gonna have to go back and look these up yourself. It can only help you.) This is before the fall. Before sin entered the world. When things were as God had created them and intended them to be. Did God intend for all men and beasts to be vegetarians/herbivores? It seems so from this verse. This would also suggest that there was no death before sin entered the world - not even animals killed for food - which makes sense to me, since death comes as a result of sin. Well, maybe there was large-scale plant death - but nobody cares about plants. They're not real life. Right?

- Maybe this is a little too John Eldredge - but Genesis 2 reminds me that Eve was created in the Garden, and that Adam was created somewhere else and "placed" in the Garden.

- Genesis 2:19, 20 - Assigning a name to something/someone means you have authority over them. Adam and the animals... parents and their children. This will become more important when we consider Abram/Abraham, Jacob/Israel, Saul/Paul, etc.

- Genesis 3:3 - Eve tells the serpent that God told them they weren't to eat of the fruit of that tree, or even touch it, which is a step beyond what God actually said. Since Eve wasn't around at the time God gave this order, I'm wondering if Adam told her that part - "Look - don't even touch it!" - just to cover his butt. How'd that work out for you, bro?

- Genesis 3:22 - Apparently, the Tree of Life is a completely different thing than the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. I have more thoughts on this than I'd like to type here. But woe unto my small group on Sunday!

- Cain and Abel. (HT to Brian McLaren on this)
Cain (Farmer. Field owner)... KILLED Abel (Shepherd. Livestock owner) in a field!
Two livelihoods that are fundamentally in conflict.
McLaren suggests that these two represent huge shifts in human culture. One agrarian, tied to the land for life, prone to accumulating stuff, nervous about protecting its boundaries and interests. And the other nomadic, free to wander, trusting in God to provide new land for animals to graze in. Perhaps Cain killed Abel over a boundary dispute. I fear I've said too much already.

- I have no idea what Genesis 4:26 means.
"At that time, people began to call upon the name of the Lord."

- Genesis 6:4 is one of the classic "What the!?!" verses in the entire Bible. I love Madeline L'Engle's book Many Waters, and its take. She tells a story where the Nephilim and Seraphim are angelic beings, 9 feet tall and beautiful, who also take the form of some animal. They scandalously intermarry with the daughters of men. It's fiction, of course, but interesting fiction, nonetheless.

- Noah entered the ark on the 17th day of the 2nd month, and finally exited the ark on the 27th day of the 2nd month - 1 year and 10 days later! I'm not sure what the calendar differences are between them and us, but I do know this - that is one long stinky boat ride.

- Genesis 9:3 - God officially opens up animals as an option for food. Meat is no longer murder. Why now? Why wait this long?

- Genesis 10:25 - "To Eber were born two sons: the name of the one was Peleg, for in his days the earth was divided" Not sure what the heck that means. Commentaries and the New Living Translation tell me it might refer to the Tower of Babel, when people began to speak different languages, and went separate ways. But I certainly wouldn't get that from a straight reading of most translations.

That's all for Day 1. Stay tuned - I'm off now to read for Day 2.

Awesome!

(click to enlargify)

How To Be Good

Well, mission accomplished. I just finished How To Be Good by Nick Hornby. I must say, it was a very enjoyable read. I have missed reading fiction, and this was a welcome Renaissance. It took me about a week, and quite frankly could have taken half that time if I wanted. It was refreshing to find a book that I would pick up in favor of turning on the TV. I confess that it is difficult to steal my affection from television. After all, we've been together so long.

The book itself is the story told from the perspective of Katie, a successful doctor in the town of Leeds in the central part of England. She becomes dissatisfied with her marriage to David, a newspaper columnist known as "the angriest man in Holloway". Kind of like an Andy Rooney, or a Peter Griffin "What Grinds My Gears" kind of columnist. After dropping the D-bomb (divorce) on him, the couple struggles to decide what to do about their failing relationship when David undergoes a radical spiritual transformation. No longer "the angriest man in Holloway", he sets out on a mission to change the world - starting with his family. Katie who was unsure about the man he was, finds this new David almost unrecognizable, and struggles with questions about his worldview, and what it means for their already shaky marriage. It's a hilarious, complex, intelligent story that, in the end, asks the question - Is it really possible to change the world, when it's so very difficult to change yourself?

Since I liked How To Be Good so much, I've decided to move on to another Nick Hornby effort - A Long Way Down. From what I can tell, it's about four strangers who happen upon each other on the roof of a London building famous as a last stop for those about to end their lives, and the conversations they have with each other about their reasons for wanting to do so.

Anybody read this one before?
If you have, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.
Billy - I'd also like to hear what you think of How To Be Good, if you're anywhere near finished.
After this, if I'm not too burned out on Hornby - I might go ahead and read High Fidelity, even though I said I would avoid the ones that had been made into movies that I had seen. After that - maybe some Tolkein, or maybe I'll do what Abby has started doing, and pick Desire of the Everlasting Hills back up.

The "meh" heard 'round the world!

Amid sub-zero temperatures in the underworld, flocks of pigs in V-formation, and the trauma of flying monkeys escaping from rectums worldwide - several sources are reporting that it is here!!
It's finally here!!

CHINESE DEMOCRACY!
No, kids. Not actual Democracy in China. Don't be silly.

I'm talking about the long, long, long-awaited (but I'm not sure by whom) new album from Guns 'N Roses.
(Featuring exactly 1 of the original band members. It's like if Credence Clearwater Re-Visited put out an album of new music.)
Apparently, Axl has finally handed over the finished product to Geffen records for release. Rumors are it will be accompanied by either a production documentary feature, or a reality TV show.
What took so long, you might ask?

(HT to The Onion)

Thoughtlets...

- Bikes
Abby and I bought ourselves a couple of bikes this weekend. Here is a picture of what I got, except mine is solid orange-ish red. It's a Mongoose. The seat is VERY uncomfortable, and has left an indelible impression on my butt. We're not hardcore biker-folk like some of our friends but we've been saying for a while that it would be cool to have some bikes to ride around the neighborhood when the weather is nice. Also it's cool to get our heart rates up on nights when we can't make it to the gym.

On Sunday afternoon I rode my bike to Langham Creek High School from my house to play football with some guys from church. Then I rode it home. Then I went to church that night and played Dodgeball with like a hundred youth. Then I passed out by 10:30, and didn't wake up until 12:30 p.m. on Monday. Then I got out of bed and prayed to God to let me walk again someday.

- Books
I had been thinking recently that I don't read enough fiction. I don't read enough non-fiction either, really. There are roughly eleventy bazillion and one books that I have started and abandoned. Like Desire of the Everlasting Hills, which has been in my right-hand column over there for almost a year. It's a great book, don't get me wrong. It has just fallen victim to my lack of focus and large blocks of reading-time.

So last week I had Gigi the bookstore lady at church order me a copy of House by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. A nice juicy fiction book. I sat and read most of it in like a day, and was really enjoying it. It's like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre/The Hills Have Eyes/Cube/Saw hybrid. I actually recommended it to some people just as I was about to finish it. Then I read the last couple of chapters.

Why does every book by a Christian author have to have such a lame ending? Why's it gotta be all preachy? Why does it always have to end up being some lame religious allegory where the light quite literally overcomes the darkness, or the willful death of the innocent character ends up being the undoing of the evil character? It would be one thing if that's the kind of book it was for 30 some-odd chapters. But right around 35-40, it became all redemptive and predictable.

The whole experience was kind of like kissing your sister. Yes - YOUR sister (Shut up, Billy). I enjoyed reading a fictional work that I didn't want to put down, but in the end it ended up sucking. I should have known better.

So I've decided to declare a moratorium on all the religious and non-fiction stuff I currently have in the pipeline, (Sorry Desire of the Everlasting Hills. Sorry Church Re-Imagined. Sorry The Shack. Sorry The Bible) and just focus on one nice fiction read until I finish it. Just kidding about that Bible one. Anyway - I'm going with How To Be Good by Nick Hornby (the High Fidelity, Fever Pitch, About A Boy guy). An interesting read so far, especially knowing that Abby just finished reading it a few weeks ago. It's about a woman, already dissatisfied in her marriage, whose husband undergoes an extreme spiritual conversion, and how she must deal with it.

Anyway - Sorry other books. I'm in a monogamous relationship now. I don't have time for flirting with you anymore. It was time for me to make a commitment to one book, all the way through - and I've chosen How To Be Good. It's smart, funny, interesting, and it doesn't make me feel stupid like you sometimes did. So please - don't call. Don't write. Don't wait for me on the back of the toilet. I don't want to see you anymore. Not for a long while, anyway.

I had a few other thoughtlets today, but they can wait until tomorrow.
Or later on today.

Your new favorite blog (with apologies to go brain, go!)

I guarantee this will become your new favorite blog and mine.

Stuff Christians Like

Best rip-off ever of the popular Stuff White People Like blog - in keeping with #1 on the list - Putting a God Spin on Popular Secular Ideas.

You must read now.

In strangely related news, #7 on that list is Stryper.

The other night I was watching R.E.M. on the Colbert Report, and Michael Stipe mentioned Stryper as their influence during the 80's.
Score one for the yellow and black attack!!

Is this wrong...

The truck from Comcast has been outside my neighbor's house a couple of times in the last week or two.
That seems like a lot to me.
And if I were the CEO of Comcast it would probably seem like really bad advertising for my company.
So - if I were the CEO of Comcast, and I knew my trucks would frequently be seen outside of the same person's house for repairs, I would make a very strategic marketing move.
Instead of slapping a Comcast magnet on the outside of each truck, I would have some Dish Network or DIRECTV magnets printed up, and put them on my Comcast trucks.

Is that wrong?

The Rabbi says...

"You have to be so totally disconnected from the pain of the world to think that blogging is somehow a redemptive use of your time."

- Rob Bell in Q &A: Rob Bell Tells It Like It Is, Relevant Magazine - January/February 2008 Issue

Zing!-ed by the rabbi once again!
(see this previous post for his first, more personal insult to me.)
But I'm not bitter.

Being Reel Careful

Robert has a post up at his blog about movie nights for youth groups, and what to show at them. It's a great question, and one I have struggled with over and over again for movie nights, long charter bus rides, and Disciple Now sleepovers.

What are some entertaining and appropriate choices for movie night? It's a fine line to walk. I would never dream of exposing my students to crap like Facing The Giants, but is it ever okay to show Pulp Fiction? I have a friend who has, and shows stuff like that to his group all the time. I don't think I'd be comfortable with that, but what would I be comfortable with?

Is there a level of acceptable profanity? Does it matter which words are used? Even the S-word is commonly used in PG films, but on a bus full of Middle and High School students, you can't hear the movie for all the "ohhhh!"'s and "what!?"'s every time they say it. PG-13 films (appropriate for 13 year olds?) are even allowed a certain quota of F-words. And those things sneak up on you. You might remember what you're watching as a perfectly acceptable family flick, that you've watched a million times before. But when you watch it with students, you notice language, content and situations you would have never even blinked at before. It's like watching it with your parents, or grandparents.

Maybe it's just an indicator about how hypocritical we all are in our church/home lives. We're all watching these movies at home, but when we watch them together on a bus, we're like Baptists running into each other at the liquor store. Sooo appalled.

The point is - you can only watch The Princess Bride and Labyrinth so many times. Actually - I'm pretty sure Bowie's - ahem - "hose-pipe syndrome" in that flick is offensive enough. And I'm not sure how many cartoon or computer animated features my High Schoolers will endure before there's a mutiny, and I'm left standing on the side of the road, while the bus pulls away showing Seasons 1-5 of Family Guy and the Flight of the Conchords DVD. Oh - and until there's a complete REVOLUTION in the way "Christian" or "Inspirational" films are made - I'll not be showing any of that drivel.

So what are some really good movies that you'd consider appropriate for a youth group movie night, or, let's sayyyy - a 16 hour charter bus trip to Glorieta, NM June 22-28, 2008?

6 Questions

Tonight the 12th grade guys small group and the 11th and 12th grade girls small group are meeting together at my house. I'm trying something a little bit different with them. Instead of using a curriculum or a video or something to teach, I have chosen a passage of scripture (John Chapter 9, about the man born blind) and will ask them the following series of questions to answer in groups of 2 or 3.

The questions, to be asked and discussed one at a time are as follows:

1. What do you like best about this passage?
2. What do you like least about this passage?
3. What do you not understand about this passage?
4. What do you learn about God from this passage?
5. Based on what you read and learned from this passage, what do you personally need to do?
6. What phrase or verse from this passage do you want to take with you?

The disclaimer is: These questions didn't come from me.
A few weeks ago, on a retreat with the staff, advisors, and lay-leadership of our church, a consultant named Carol Davis did this exercise as a devotional with us. She actually used the Luke 10:1-7 passage where Jesus sends out the 72.

My first reaction was, "Who gives a crap what I like, or dislike about a passage from scripture?! What does that have to do with anything?" But I was really surprised at how well the whole exercise worked with our leadership group.

Afterward, she asked how often we had been in Bible Studies that had focused so much on scripture. Ouch. Too often we have been guilty of relying on books, videos, and materials that use scripture only marginally, and calling it "Bible Study". Kind of like the "Bible Study" I did with the college students using Blue Like Jazz, and the study guide from it. Kind of silly.

Anyway - then she asked an even better question - How hard would it be for the average person to lead a B.S. using this method? Not very. So that will be the question for my students tonight. Couldn't you lead a B.S. if it was this simple? Maybe at your school? Maybe for a group of Middle Schoolers, or younger High Schoolers? Maybe for your family?

I understand that a study that follows these questions every week (or every day) might seem tedious after a while - but really the point is not to answer the questions, but to answer the questions in a group, and hear others answer them about different passages of scripture.

Anybody got any thoughts about this kind of thing?

I Dwink YOUR Miwkshake!

Dear Blurried,

(Mostly in response to Shane's post over at Blurried.)

Okay, so - here's the thing, and no, this is not about to become an American Idol blog.
Last night during David Cook's performance I was slack-jawed and drooling.
I was amazed.
Not only does that song hold no small amount of sentimental value for me, but i thought to myself,

"This kid must be some kind of re-arrangement genius."

I was floored.
Then I rewound my DVR, only to hear Seacrest introduce it as Chris Cornell's version of Billie Jean.

Now I'm not as impressed.
Also - isn't that cheating a little bit?
I mean, if the theme is "Songs From The Year I Was Born", then using a version of it that didn't exist until more than a decade later seems like an unfair advantage.

I wish Chikezie would have had that option - because that dude's really entertaining, and sang the heck out of a song that was really dated.

Don't misunderstand - David Cook's performance was BY FAR the best of the night. He was a total standout. With this performance, and last week's version of Day Tripper (also VERY cool), he has finally found a spot in the competition that he deserves, whereas a few weeks ago, I would have gladly traded him for Cruella Deville just for novelty's sake.

Abby said it, and I agree. It would be cool for that guy to win American Idol. Either way, he'll probably be famous. But I'm just afraid he's going to get stuck as the front man for some Daughtry-esque Nickelback clone. And the world's got at least 2 too many of those already.

To summarize:
Tap natch performance by David Cook: Check
Killer cool arrangement by Chris Cornell: Check
Unfair advantage over other contestants, and questionable integrity: Check, check!

-------

Next item on today's Idol-themed post made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

When they announced that Kristy Lee Cook would be singing, Proud To Be An American, I couldn't help but groan. I continued my groaning all the way through her dismal, bored performance of the worlds second cheesiest song (not even good enough to be the cheesiest).
It wasn't the surprising raves that she got from the judges that cracked me up, it was this comment from Simon,

"If I'm not mistaken, that song was written by a man named Lee Greenwood. Brilliant writer. Brilliant song."

In summary:
Respect for Simon's musical "expertise": ______

(that's NO CHECK in case you were wondering...)

Man...

... somebody should totally post something here.

U23D

What doesn't kill you makes you ... stranger.....

Just released! A pair of International Teaser posters for The Dark Knight. HOLY FREAKIN' COW!

Dude - Cloverfield.

5 freakin' minutes of the movie! What the heck is this about?

ZING!

Robert has become a ministry god because Doug Pagitt posted a letter he wrote a few days ago (a letter that i would agree was excellent). It is now my goal to quote Robert as much as possible within my posts and thereby raise my ministry street cred.

Robert is cooler than me because he never ever ever mentioned it - unlike some people whose egos are in such need of a stroke that they send out the link in an e-mail to everybody they know.

Seriously, dude - I was reading that post not knowing it was you, and thinking, "Man, I can totally relate to that guy." Then when I got to the point where you mentioned Stevens Point, Wisconsin I thought - "Hey! Robert lives there!" I'm an idiot. I should have known it was you at "CHRIST-mas lights".

Shalom.

P.S. I am totally writing a book called:
Ministry god Marriage Counseling by Robert Terrell by J.T.

No kidding. The manuscript is a Word document in my My Documents folder. Look for it at your local retailer this Spring - just in time to make a perfect shower gift for June brides!

What Would Batman Do?

Earlier today, I came across somebody on a message board using this as their avatar:






No. I do not read message boards at work.

9 Most Bad*** Bible Verses EVER.

Go HERE for the hilarity.

And due to graphic violence, some profanity, and frank sexual language - this link is not suitable for younger viewers. Parents strongly cautioned.

(thanks to Cracked.com)

Why So Serious?

BEST.
POSTER.
EVER.

Discuss.

WOO-HOO!!

I got my Everything Is Spiritual DVD today!
(Check out www.everythingisspiritual.com)

KABOOOOOM!

That was my head.

Your turn:

Mo' money, mo' problems (Alternatively - "Dolla dolla bills, y'all!")

A clear and concise (not to mention entertaining) explanation of WHY I'M STUCK WITH RE-RUNS RIGHT NOW - AND SO MANY FREAKIN' REALITY SHOWS!!

Pay the writers already!!

Shofar - so good.

So - blah blah blah - spiritual gifts, blah blah "one body, many parts", blah blah blah kingdom of Heaven.
What I mean is - all the churchy words I would use to describe the relevance of this clip would be powerless against the actual viewing of it. So just watch it, okay? And remember - it's a beautiful thing.

I do love the way it all starts with the blowing of the Shofar, though. A nice touch.

Shout out to Brit, who commented the other day, and who I stole this from. Thanks.

OH SNAP!

"I would rather be wrong with Brian McLaren than right with D.A. Carson..."
- Leonard Sweet

This quote won't mean anything to most of you who read this blog, but to the 3 or 4 of you who will understand it - OH SNAP!