Monday, July 21, 2008

J.T.'s offical thoughts RE: The Dark Knight

Since when did they cast THIS GUY to play Batman??
Seriously - what the freaking heck is up with that stupid voice Christian Bale is using when he's wearing that outfit? That stupid black S.W.A.T. team outfit with the ridiculous helmet. You know the one. I refuse to acknowledge it as the Batman costume. Anyway - I noticed the stupid voice in Batman Begins, but with as few lines as the Batman character actually had in that film, I was largely able to look past it. This time? Ugh. You gotta be kidding me. It sounds ridiculous.

I just have this vision in my head of Batman standing on the roof of the GCPD with Commissioner Gordon and some cops from the MCU, and as soon as Batman speaks - their eyes grow very large, they all pause for a second, and then collapse into a pile of laughing law-enforcers.

I mean, all that was missing was for him to refer to himself in the third person, or as "me".
As in:
"Me know where Joker keeping Harvey and Rachel! Ommm-num-num-num..."
"Batman looove justice! Mmm-num-num-num!"

To be perfectly honest - I've never loved Christian Bale for the role in the first place.
Sure, he's better than West, Keaton, Kilmer, and Clooney - but being better than other guys that sucked still doesn't make you good.

So my official line about The Dark Knight is that I loved every single frame of it, except Batman.
He was the worst part about this Batman movie.
Thank God that every single other character is absolutely phenomenally rendered.
Every one.
Heath Ledger's supposed posthumous Oscar? Sure. Why not. I bet he'll get nominated, but I don't think he'll win. Summer movies don't win Academy Awards, no matter how good the performance.

I still think I need to see it one more time on a regular size screen to really form my opinion about whether or not it is a crime drama on the level of The Departed, or Heat. Just a note - IMAX might actually be TOO big.

So there you go.
Have you seen it?
What did you think?

12 comments:

Dylan Newhouse said...

"Summer movies don't win Academy Awards, no matter how good the performance."

Tell that to Cap'n Jack Sparrow, sir.

IMAX too big?

Single most heretical thing you've ever said.

I have no hesitation saying TDK is a Departed-level picture. Sweet Holy Moses, I loved it. Bale included.

Oh... and how you posted this without mentioning WATCHMEN I'll never know.

The Bagboy said...

Why does it need to be compared to other crime dramas? Why can't it just be its own thing?

And he HAS to disguise his voice, or they'll recognize Wayne's voice. The rough, gravelly voice is just another aspect of his "demon man-bat" persona that he's putting out. I'm also confused as to what your gripe with the costume is.

Also, did you notice he was listed in the credits ONLY as Bruce Wayne? Odd, no?

Andrew said...

You blogged again, that's good. I was beginning to think you had forgotten how.

Cory said...

Umm...what do I think?

I think you are a moron.

And it looks like your other commenters agree with me...

Bale was excellent. Go watch it again.

TastyCakes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TastyCakes said...

GENTLEMEN, gentlemen...

How could you not expect JT's expectations to be totally let down even though he repeatedly told everyone that he wasn't getting his expectations up? No Man-Bat or Batman will ever be good enough for him. Ever. It's not enough that IMAX feels like flying over the city or that the performances alone made the film a stand-out.

Therefore, we should simply take this opinion in stride and wait for the next Dark Knight Disappointment, which everyone but JT will thoroughly enjoy.

So, yeah, thanks alot, Buzz Killington! Meh!!

The Bagboy said...

Well Abby, I call shenanigans on your statement of "No Man-Bat or Batman will ever be good enough for him. Ever." After Batman Begins came out, he declared it "the perfect superhero movie" and "the Batman movie I've been waiting for," in a conversation with me.

J.T. said...

Abz - thanks for the support, honey.

Anyway - here's the deal.
You guys weren't privy to a conversation I had over on Cory's blog a while back about this very thing. In his comments, I admitted that I might never be fully satisfied with a Batman movie because the material just doesn't lend itself to a more realistic medium. It's an absurd premise, no matter how much you try to ground it in the real-world. So yeah - it's possible that no movie Batman will ever be good enough for me. I will always be a comic-first guy when it comes to Batman.

That being said - it turns out that this last film proved me wrong about that at every turn except one. The character Batman himself. In my opinion (GASP!), which you certainly do not have to adopt as yours, every character and nuance in this latest installment either equals or improves upon its comic book counterpart - except Batman.

Come on - Bill says "And he HAS to disguise his voice, or they'll recognize Wayne's voice."

Well, as long as we're suspending our disbelief, and pretending they'd NEVER recognize the eyes, nose and mouth of the richest, most famous socialite/philanthropist/businessman in Gotham City, can't we also suspend our disbelief that they would ever recognize his voice, as well? Come ON. Look, I don't mind the guy adding a little gravel to his Batman voice. But as it is, it's not intimidating, or disguising - it's hilarious! Half the time you can't understand him, and the other half the time he sounds like he's out of breath trying to do it.

Here's an idea - change Bruce Wayne's voice instead. After all, in the psychology of Batman, BRUCE is the persona, the act, the mask.

I saw the movie again last night, and there were only two times when his voice didn't completely grate on me.
1. In the interrogation room, beating the crap out of the Joker.
2. Interrogating Boss Maroni in the street after dropping him off the balcony.
Both scenes of intense anger and violence - where makes a little more sense.

Abby said...

You seem upset.

J.T. said...

As for the IMAX thing - it really was pretty astounding. A couple of times I found myself trying so hard to drink in the amazing pictures, that I couldn't pay close enough attention to the words. The plot seemed pretty intricate, and I'm just not smart enough to do both on the first sitting. It would have been better for me to choose one.

Upon my second viewing I started to wish I had seen it on the regular big screen first, to understand what was really going on - and THEN seen it in IMAX to make my joy more complete. That's the way to go, I think.

As I recall, I didn't really enjoy Superman Returns in IMAX 3D, either. I did, however enjoy 300 immensely, and U23D even more than that!

J.T. said...

Nah - not upset.
I'm just a geek. I wanna talk through the things that are important to me.

Sadly - THIS is.

Oh, and Dylan-
WATCHMEN looks amazing.
I don't know how I missed hearing that the trailer might be premiering in front of the Dark Knight.
The real question is - How terrible is it that I still haven't read it?

hello jamie: said...

Finally saw it. Couldn't agree with you more. Christian Bale is boring (as Bruce Wayne) and ridiculous (as Batman). (Don't jump on me, other readers; I know he is a good actor. But not in this.) His bat-voice could not have been more distracting, but at least it was distracting me from the fact that he had zero personality or character development.

Loved everyone else, esp. the phenomenal Ledger and the girl-crush inducing Gyllanhaal (sp?).

But, shouldn't Mrs. Gordon and Young Boy Gordon been killed at the end so Barbara could grow up as a foxy little library nerd, pine to be a detective, and end up bat-kicking some villain ass of her own? I'm just sayin'.

Also, me thought movie too long. Mmmhhhnnn!