Friday, October 10, 2008

Things I Would Eliminate by J.T.

Why are there fingernail clippers AND toenail clippers. And why are the fingernail clippers so much smaller? And don't tell me it's because fingers are smaller than toes - my thumbnail is definitely bigger than all but two of my toes (and that's counting both feet). Also - we use the biggest one (toenail clippers) to cut the smallest nail (the piggy who went "wee-wee"). And don't tell me you're supposed to switch back and forth between the big ones and the little ones on the same foot. That's the height of inefficiency. Is there some weird Talmudic precedent for not mixing toe jam and.... finger... jam? Is it not kosher? Just today I cut my thumbnail with toenail clippers, and I don't care who knows.

So I propose the elimination of one or the other - most likely the fingernail ones, the little ones.
All in favor say "aye".


TastyCakes said...

I move that if we are to move to a single-nail-clipper based economy, that we make sure said clippers follow the natural curve of the nail and not the opposite curve (?!) like our toenail clippers do.

sullentangerine said...

I'm all about the Cure for Redundancy, but I have small hands like a carnie, and the big clippers would be too much for me.