America's Teams

By Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports
September 11, 2005

One team, displaced to the road like nearly everyone else back home, faced a championship contender on their turf and scored four times in the fourth quarter, including twice on special teams and once when, on fourth-and-forget-it, a 39-yard prayer was caught for a touchdown to deliver the comeback, the game and the dream.

One team, displaced to the road like nearly everyone else back home, faced a championship contender on their turf and scored twice in the fourth quarter, including a last-second, 47-yard game-winning field goal to deliver the comeback, the game and the dream.

And so now you begin to wonder.

Louisiana State on Saturday night, New Orleans Saints on Sunday afternoon. Two stunning, last-moment victories.

Do you believe in miracles?

"In the back of our minds, we know we have to give them one tiny bit of hope," quarterback Aaron Brooks told reporters after the Saints' 23-20 victory over Carolina, which came not 24 hours after LSU beat Arizona State 35-31.

"We have complete faith in what we are doing because every time we go out there, it is our job to give them hope that every day will be a better day."

And there can be no minimizing the word "tiny" here. A couple of dramatic football victories don't bring back the dead, lower the floodwaters or rebuild neighborhoods.

A couple of dramatic football victories are a couple of dramatic football victories – a little more than nothing in the great, grand post-Katrina scheme of things.

But if you witnessed New York and its Yankees after September 11, if you can appreciate that having anything to cheer, to distract or to warm the heart can mean so much more than tiny, then these were more than just a couple of dramatic football victories.

If you can understand that for some of the 340,000 former residents of Greater New Orleans, huddled across the country in shelters, hotels and someone else's living room, the chance to pump a fist about something great happening to a couple of teams representing their battered hometown and bruised home state is more than just a couple of dramatic football victories.

Which is why everyone's favorite team to reach the Super Bowl should be the New Orleans Saints.

And everyone's favorite team to reach the Rose Bowl ought to be the LSU Tigers.

Because who doesn't want to believe in miracles?

Before the Saints' game at Super Bowl-favorite Carolina, coach Jim Haslett read a letter he received from New Orleans Mayor C. Ray Nagin, who understands all of this too well.

"He talked about the things he had seen, babies dying," receiver Joe Horn told reporters.

Horror movie stuff Horn went on to say. Every-day stuff in the Big Easy. It brought the tragedy of New Orleans home for a group of players and coaches who have the spent the last two weeks in San Antonio.

For the LSU players, a letter from the front lines wasn't needed. Their game against Arizona State was moved to Tempe because their campus is full of refugees from New Orleans. Sixty-eight Tigers hail from Louisiana, 14 from the city of New Orleans.

This is their tragedy.

"I'm just so proud," LSU coach Les Miles said afterward.

Everyone should be. These two teams won two games under incredible distraction and distress. And both teams spent their postgame interviews talking about how they have it easy, reminding us that football is nothing and repeating that they would trade all the wins in the world for Katrina to never have happened.

"It's not all about us anymore," Saints offensive lineman Wayne Gandy said.

Humble, big-picture athletes? In today's sports world?

The fortunes of these teams could have broken either way. The hurricane could have cost focus, it could have slowed minds, it could have sucked the fight out of people too tired to fight for something so frivolous.

Or it could raise them up – give them a sense of pride and purpose never before experienced. Having something so powerful and real to rally around – not just silly locker room stuff – could give two teams the little edge that creates big seasons.

It was just football. It was just one weekend.

But for two teams with one dream, it was much more than that

"No, but could you tell me more about Jackie Robinson, and breaking barriers?"

So - I got this fascinating new device from my cable company for mere pennies per month. It's a DVR. If you don't know what that is, look it up - you need to know. It's like TiVo, or replaytv. It enables me to record, without those cumbersome videotapes, anything I want. In fact, I can even set it to record a certain show any time it comes on on any channel. Which I have done with several shows, including (here comes the point) The West Wing. Since I got it I have watched approximately 453 episodes. In case you didn't know - The West Wing is probably (not possibly) the 100% greatest television show of all time.

It is also the show with the coolest dialogue. Since about 79.8% of the appeal of something is sharing it with others, I thought I would contribute to our conversation (yes, we are having a conversation. Deal with it.) several of my favorite bits of West Wing dialogue, and allow you to do the same with your comments - all culminating in a massive compendium of screenwritten literary gems and fanboy geekiness. I'll go first!

President Bartlet: I could jump you right now.
Abby Bartlet: I could kill you right now.
President Bartlet: My thing's more fun.
-----

Josh Lyman: All I'm saying is, if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop to get a beer.
Donna Moss: If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights.
-----

President Bartlet: Who's your commander-in-chief?
Abby Bartlet: You are.
-----

(With the cabinet member who stays behind during the State of the Union address, in case someone blows up the Capitol Building)
President Bartlet: Roger, if anything happens, you know what to do, right?
Roger: I honestly hadn't thought about it, sir.
President Bartlet: First thing always is national security. Get your commanders together. Appoint Joint Chiefs, appoint a chairman. Take us to Defcon 4. Have the governors send emergency delegates to Washington. The assistant Attorney General is going to be the Acting A.G. You got a best friend?
Roger: Yes sir.
President Bartlet: Is he smarter than you?
Roger: Yes sir.
President Bartlet: Would you trust him with your life?
Roger: Yes sir.
President Bartlet: That's your Chief of Staff.
-----

C.J. Cregg: The theme of the Egg Hunt is "Learning is delightful and delicious!" As, by the way, am I.
-----

President Bartlet: "We hold these truths to be self-evident," they said, "that all men are created equal." Strange as it may seem, that was the first time in history that anyone had ever bothered to write that down. Decisions are made by those that show up.
-----

Abby Bartlet: I was very young when I had my kids. I was very, very, very, very young. I was barely even born yet when I had my oldest daughter, Elizabeth.
-----

President Bartlet: You're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right?
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: Yes sir.
President Bartlet: Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D?
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: A PhD.
President Bartlet: A PhD?
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: Yes sir.
President Bartlet: Psychology?
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: No sir.
President Bartlet: Theology?
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: No sir.
President Bartlet: Social work?
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I have a PhD in English Literature.
President Bartlet: I'm asking 'cause on your show, people call in for advice, and you go by the name Dr. Jacobs on your show, and I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that and assumed you had advanced training in psychology, theology, or health care.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't believe they are confused, no sir.
President Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
President Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22
President Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While you're thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side-by-side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands - nobody sits.
-----

C.J. Cregg: The more photo-friendly of the two turkeys gets a presidential pardon, and a full life at a children's petting zoo; the other one gets eaten.
President Bartlet: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.
-----

John Van Dyke: When our children can go to any street corner in America and buy pornography for five dollars, don't you think that is too high a price to pay for free speech?
President Bartlet: No. On the other hand, I do think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography.
-----

And last, but not least:

Toby Ziegler: He calls you and me the Batman and Robin of speechwriting.
Sam Seaborn: Well, I don't think he does.
Toby Ziegler: He doesn't, but he should, 'cause that's what we are.
Sam Seaborn: Okay.
Toby Ziegler: We are Batman and Robin.
Sam Seaborn: Which one's which?
Toby Ziegler: Look at me, Sam. Am I Robin?
Sam Seaborn: I'm not Robin.
Toby Ziegler: Yes you are.
Sam Seaborn: Okay, well, let's move off this.
Toby Ziegler: You bet, little friend.
Sam Seaborn: Listen, we're really not Batman and Robin.
Toby Ziegler: No, we'll keep those identities secret. I'm Bruce Wayne, and you're my ward... Dick Something...
-----

I could go on forever.... and it appears I have.

Petra Means Rock

Rules of the Day:

Rule #1 - When aliens talk, they never use contractions.
Rule #2 - Old people always have exact change.
Rule #3 - Do not trust a man who calls the bathroom "the little boys" room.

About 14 years ago, when I was a high-school freshman, I was walking out of a youth group meeting one Wednesday night and into the parking lot where my mother's van waited. A car - an old beater of a car, too - sped right up to me, and stopped. It was my youth minister's brother-in-law. He said nothing, only rolled down his window, and handed me two cassette tapes.

"What the heck is this?" I asked.

He just smiled, rolled up his window, and drove away.

In the movie version of my life, that moment will feature a bright light shining down and angels singing.

The contents of those cassettes changed my little 14-year-old life forever.
One of those tapes had Deliverance's self titled album on one side and Deliverance - Weapons of our Warfare on the other. THAT is a whole other post altogether. The other tape had Whiteheart - Powerhouse on one side, and on the other side? Petra- Beyond Belief.

That day I was thrust into a world unlike any other I had ever known. Until that time, the soundtrack of my life had been The Beach Boys and The Monkees, and more recently Sir Mix-A-Lot and Public Enemy. I was not prepared for it - but switch had been thrown in me, and from that day forward I would be a worshiper at the church of the rock. (Dramatic enough for ya?)

Petra.

There's no telling how many actual members that band has had over the years. In fact, based on the above "Then" and "Now" pictures, only one man has actually been involved for 33 years - Bob "Eddie Who?" Hartman. Which begs the question - what percentage of actual "Petra" is necessary to continue Petra? 1 out of 5? 20%? Any at all? Or perhaps - obscure Princess Bride reference coming - perhaps, like the Dread Pirate Roberts, it's the name that's the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear/respect. I do find it amazing that a band could survive something so drastic as a lead-singer change, and STILL be as good, if not better, than it was before. When that happens with most bands, people end up choosing one, to the detriment of the band's other stuff. Admit it - you either like Van Halen with Dave, or with Sammy, but not both (and certainly not Gary Cherone). You either like Judas Priest with Rob Halford or with Ripper Owens. The one notable exception is AC/DC - nobody has to choose between Bon Scott and Brian Johnson because they sound almost exactly the same. It's not like that with Petra, either. Don't get me wrong - fans will be debating Grex X. Volz vs. John Schlitt forever - but it's a little bit like arguing about who was the best Bond. It's a win-win. And no - I'm not saying which one is Connery.

Now comes word of Petra's farewell. After 33 years, and very nearly as many members, they are retiring. There have been rumors of a kind of Best Of Petra Concert, with all the former members showing up to play the all the best songs from the albums that they were on. They should literally put a revolving door on the stage. I can't tell you how cool I think that would be - I would pay any amount of money to see it. But I only say that because I know it will never happen. I did have the privilege of seeing them in concert once, though. ETBU brought them in to play for my Freshman class - the last cool thing ETBU actually did.

Anyway - say what you want about Petra, their current place in music, their relevance, and the choices they've made in the past few years, but there's no doubt that they started something, and were the best at it for a long time. I know I sound like everybody's grandfather now, but they just don't write songs like those anymore. For me, Petra will never go out of style, because every time I listen I'll remember what it meant to me growing up. I think it's safe to say that - for better or worse - without them, I wouldn't have ended up the guy I am now. Funny the things we allow to shape us, isn't it? Some people would be ashamed, but not me. Thanks for the memories, Petra - lol.

R.I.P. Petra 1972-2005

"When it came to kissing, Harlow was the best."

Jimmy Stewart You scored 19% Tough, 19% Roguish, 33% Friendly, and 28% Charming!

You are the fun and friendly boy next door, the classic nice guy who still manages to get the girl most of the time. You're every nice girl's dreamboat, open and kind, nutty and charming, even a little mischievous at times, but always a real stand up guy. You're dependable and forthright, and women are drawn to your reliability, even as they're dazzled by your sense of adventure and fun. You try to be tough when you need to be, and will gladly stand up for any damsel in distress, but you'd rather catch a girl with a little bit of flair. Your leading ladies include Jean Arthur and Donna Reed, those sweet girl-next-door types. Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 27% on Tough You scored higher than 53% on Roguish You scored higher than 57% on Friendly You scored higher than 46% on Charming

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid

I Want This:

Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith
by Rob Bell

And no - in case you're wondering - this is not the new post I promised you yesterday. But sometimes, covetousness compels us to interrupt whatever we are doing and demand certain material posessions. Stop judging me, and just run out and buy it. But you better hurry... if I get a free minute today, I'm Barnes & Noble bound.

**UPDATE** 3:06 p.m.
Got it! I also got a 2006 Batman Calendar, and a copy of Esquire Magazine's THE RULES for men to live by. And I'll probably be including some of those in future posts, because they either make a lot of sense, or are just plain ridiculous.

Saving The World One Ice Chest At A Time...

Well, well, well... - here I am.
Do I have to talk about that bloody storm? I mean, you all watch the news, and read everybody else's blogs. You don't need me to re-hash it, or tell the J.T. version of the story, do you? Even I wouldn't read that. Okay, fine.

For those of you scoring at home, I believe its:

Katrina - 1
New Orleans - 0

And if you don't believe me, just ask any real estate agent in the greater Baton Rouge area. You can NOT buy property here right now. Not because it's in bad shape, or because it costs too much, but because there isn't any. Seriously, our population has doubled in the past week, and apparently the Red Cross is not only handing out blankets, water, and hot meals, but they're also giving away big piles of cash to anybody who wants to buy a new house just up the road in Baton Rouge. My dad was talking about some guy he was working with out at Exxon, who had been trying to sell his house. He had been having some trouble unloading it on somebody, until along comes Katrina, and some refugees from New Orleans show up at his doorstep. They offer him 500G's in cash (more than 2ce what he was asking) if he'll just get his family's personal items, and get out of there. Leave the appliances, leave the furniture, leave the food in the pantry and the refrigerator. Faster than you can say "fat wallet", that dude and his family are on their way out of town, and do you know where they are going to live now?

Any-where they want.

Okay, seriously, I would rather sandpaper a bobcat's butt in a phone booth than recount the lame details of what I've been up to the last few days - so here, for your reading pleasure, are a few key words that you may hear about over the course of the next few years, as we remember this time in our nation's history: Parking lot security, burned noggin, "buy me 3 ice-chests and some snacks", 2 1/2 foot Batman, one bag per person, chainsaw crew, water brigade, airport shifts, Jesse Jackson, Steve Harvey and the Nation of Islam, Sean Penn's leftovers, stealing from Ted Turner, casual Sunday, Oprah's plane, and on-the-air with Richard Condon.

Also, as you may have guessed from the picture - the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, to which I am currently in bondage, suffered quite a bit of high water. A few days ago I was elated to hear that classes on that campus will, in fact, resume..... in August 2006. HA! I told that joke to everybody I knew for about 6 hours, until I actually looked on the NOBTS website. They expect everybody who's already enrolled in classes to resume their fall schedule October 3rd - on the internet! Are you kidding me? My sister's taking a class called Totall Wellness and the Minister - it's like a Seminary P.E. class. How the heck is she supposed to take that on the internet? Maybe I'm just bitter because I thought I was going to get a pass on this semester - and now most of my assignments will have to be writing assignments submitted electronically, without the benefit of lecture. This Seminary thing just continues to get worse and worse.

Well, I do actually have some thoughts on the sociopolitical situation (no, seriously) down here, but I will save them for a separate post. That way you can be assured that I will post again, and we will all have something to look forward to. Until then, let's keep the "where have you been"'s and "It's about time"'s to a minimum, shall we? Much lub, homies.

"Coldplay - The New Jonestown Kool-Aid"

Here's a great post from a blog called Kid B that pretty much sums up what I think about the whole Coldplay thing. Check it out. Feel free to leave comments on his post here, if you like. I don't know how I found this... I probably couldn't get back there if I tried.

Salty Dogma

I saw this a few weeks back, and meant to say something, but what with the switching of the blogs, and the success of the last post... I didn't get around to it/want to interrupt the flow. Either way - this is probably one of the most freakin' cool articles I've seen in a while. It's a World Magazine interview with Bono from August 6, 2005, where he details exactly what he believes, as if those of us with any sense at all had any doubts about where Bono stood on the whole Jesus thing. You've heard it before, but - if the previous era was defined by the scholars, scientists, and theologians, the next era is going to be defined by the poets, musicians, philosophers and painters. I think Bono has known this for a while, and has been writing the spiritual soundtrack for a generation. Do us both a favor, and check out this article.

This post, article, title and all... ripped cleanly and without permission from Josh Cohagen's blog. Thanks Josh!

Scattered, Smothered, And Covered

Everybody knows that there's only a finite number of really good songs. Great songs, like electricity, or precious gems, are discovered, not created. They are not a renewable resource. Sooner or later there's going to come a time when every good song is simply a remake of a song that's already been recorded by somebody else. I, for one, am okay with this idea. I don't necessarily like it, and I can understand how it would be difficult for others to accept but it is, nevertheless, fact.

Cover songs rule. They rule because it's cool to hear a band you like, playing a song that you already know the words to, but haven't heard them play a million times before. I don't understand why bands like the '80's cover band The Molly Ringwalds haven't become the most popular thing ever. Basically, when you do a cover song, you can go one of two ways:

1) You can try to sound as much like the original as you possibly can.
or
2) You can try and totally go your own way with the song and drastically reinterpret it in your style.

Both options are equally perilous. I personally prefer for bands to go the first route, because there's a reason the song was great in the first place. If you try to mess with it too much, you can really piss people off about what you did with their favorite song (see U2/Jars Of Clay - All I Want Is You). Grrr.

Anyway- I have compiled a list of my favorite cover songs, and decided to include them here for you. There's a bunch. Look through these and see which ones you've heard, haven't heard. Perhaps there are some versions of your favorite songs here that you didn't even know existed. Perhaps there are some you know of that I didn't list. As I said, this is a list of my favorites, which means it is highly subjective, and necessarily limited to the catalog of songs I am actually aware of. If it's not here, it's probably because I either don't know about it, or know about it and don't really like it all that much. Still there are bound to be some I just didn't think of. This is where comments come in. I would love nothing more than to hear your opinions on my list, and your own additions/amendments to it. FIRE AWAY!

These are listed in an Original Artist/Cover Artist - Song Title format.
In some cases, the cover actually surpasses the original. These cases will be identified by bold print.

Stryper/ Steve Hindalong – To Hell With The Devil

Stryper/ Klank – The Way

Stryper/ The Blamed – Soldiers Under Command

Stryper/ Deliverance – Surrender

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins/ Marilyn Manson – I Put A Spell On You

The Rolling Stones/ The Sundays – Wild Horses

The Cure/ Anberlin/ 311 – Love Song

David Bowie/ Deliverance – Beauty And The Beast

David Bowie/ Nirvana – The Man Who Sold The World

Bloodgood/ Mortification – Black Snake

Bloodgood/Tourniquet - The Messiah

Trouble/Tourniquet – The Tempter

U2/Echo Hollow/ Pillar – Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Five Man Electrical Jam/ Tesla – Signs

The Tremoloes/ The Mavericks – Here Comes My Baby

Pete Townshend/ Audio Adrenaline/ Pearl Jam – Let My Love Open The Door

U2/Starfield/dcTalk – 40

U2/ Tobymac – Mysterious Ways

U2/ Tait – One

U2/Grits – With Or Without You

U2/ Chris Tomlin – Where The Streets Have No Name

U2/ P.O.D. – Bullet The Blue Sky

Charlie Peacock/ dcTalk – In The Light

Terry Taylor/ Deliverance – Sanctuary

Paul McCartney/ U2 – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

The Clash/ One Bad Pig – Rock The Casbah

Petra/ Galactic Cowboys – Not Of This World

Petra/ Die Happy - All Over Me

XTC/ Sarah McLachlan – Dear God

Deep Purple/ Vengeance Rising – Space Truckin’

TV/ Relient K – Charles In Charge

TV/ Matthew Sweet – Scooby Doo, Where Are You?

TV/ Sublime – Hong King Phooey

Radney Foster/ Hootie and the Blowfish – Fine Line

Led Zeppelin/ Hootie and the Blowfish – Hey, Hey, What Can I Do?

R.E.M./ Hootie and the Blowfish – Driver 8

New Grass Revival/ Hootie and the Blowfish – Let Me Be Your Man

The Smiths/ Hootie and the Blowfish – Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

The Doors/ Stone Temple Pilots – Break On Through

The Doors/ Aerosmith – Love Me Two Times

The Doors/ Days Of The New – The End

Rich Mullins/ Reflescent Tide – Hold Me Jesus

Veggie Tales/ The Channelsurfers – God Is Bigger

The Police/ Blackball – Message In A Bottle

Imperials/ Atomic Opera – Water Grave

Billy Joel/ Garth Brooks – Shameless

Bob Dylan/ The Byrds - Mr. Tambourine Man

*edited 8-15-05 to add:

Bob Dylan/Billy Joel/ Garth Brooks - To Make You Feel My Love

Simon and Garfunkel/ The Lemonheads/ Pennywise - Mrs. Robinson

Mark Cohen/ Cher - Walkin' In Memphis

Rufus Wainwright/ Jeff Buckley/ Kmax - Hallelujah

also, check out this site for their list of the 100 greatest cover songs of all time.

Greatest Hits

Every morning, one of the first things I do is check all the blogs I read, to see if anybody has updated. Sometimes, alot of people will go a long time without updating, or saying why. It's those times when I actually start to wonder if the rapture has happened, and I was left behind. You think I'm kidding, don't you? I'm not. But then I think - nah, one of those people was Bill, or Shane, or Nathan Dewberry... and there's no way they're going and I'm not. And then I feel better.

So - you may have noticed that I've moved the blog, and you're probably wondering why. Well, I would say that a good example is probably the paragraph that you just read right above this. My other blog was compromised by some younger, more impressionable minds, and I wouldn't want to subject them to some of the stuff you see here. Not that it's raunchy, or tasteless, or anything like that - but just because some of it is raw, and questioning, and me just trying to process and work through things. Things I'm not quite ready to teach, necessarily, which is the unfortunate byproduct of influence and association with more impressionable minds. So, for their protection and mine, I decided to relocate. Also because about 10 months ago, some random kid left a comment on the old blog that said something like, "Aren't you a little old to have a Xanga site?". Probably so, kid. Probably so.

I have painstakingly migrated all of my favorite stuff from the old blog over to this one... Xanga's Greatest Hits, if you will. I have even kept their original dates and times. Blogger is cool like that. And there's no need for the chatterbox because here you can post comments without signing up for anything! Let's DO avoid posting anonymously, though, can we? Now, I only know 2 things about HTML - jack, and squat. But I am open to suggestions, tips and tricks. If you made it over here to the new blog, congratulations - I consider you an adult. Now do me a flavor and don't mention it on the old one.

Gay-Friendly

Last semester I was commissioned to write a paper for my Advanced Youth Ministry class on the Emerging Church, and what it means for my particular denomination (Southern Baptist). Well, anybody that knows me knows that the paper never got done, although it probably came closer to actually getting worked on than most papers in my Seminary career. Either way, it sparked an interest in whether or not Emerging sensibilities would be the death of my denomination, the reason it became irrelevant, or the Great Awakening. Not that I am drinking the Southern Baptist Kool-Aid, by any means - but being that that's where my roots lie - I'd be lying if I didn't admit to some affinity and no small amount of frustration with them. That being said, I have come across some interesting tidbits as of late that I would like to record here for posterity, so that I can come back to them later. One of them is a really cool article by the young lady pictured, Christi Avant, and can be found here. I'm not sure for how long. It's about being gay-friendly (her words), and very cool - if you're into that kind of thing. For a while I've been really disgusted at how religious folks have treated homosexuals, regardless of where they stand on the rightness or wrongness of the issue.

The second item is this article in the Baptist Standard in which Bill Leonard, dean of the Wake Forest University Divinity School in Winston-Salem, N.C, mentions that he'd "rather be Baptist in the postmodern period than anything else." It's pretty interesting.

Thanks to Emerging SBC Leaders for the first link, and tallskinnykiwi for the second.

For those of you who have no interest in this stuff - fear not! More mindless, banal, entertainment is sure to follow, in the forms of quizzes, surveys, and song lyrics that I didn't write. Stay tuned! And go ahead and leave your comment on something that was posted previously - I know you've been wanting to.

"Oh, it's already been brought'en!"

"I AM the squad. I mean, God blessed me with some booty-shakin' talent. I gotta get out there and shake it!"
- Jaime Doyle, about her acheivement at cheerleader camp this week

"At Last"

AT LAST
by Phil Harrison

The other day I had a dream.

I dreamt I arrived at the gates of heaven, heavyshut, pure oak, bevelled and crafted, glinting sharp in the sunlight. St Peter stood to greet me. The big man wore brown- a smile set deep against his ruddy cheeks.

"'You’re here," he said.

"I am," I said.

"Great to see you - been expecting you," he smiled. "Come on in."

He pushed gently against the huge door; it swung silently, creakless. I took a couple of steps forward until, at the threshold, one more step up and in, I realized I wasn’t alone. My friends had joined me, but they hovered behind, silently, looking on. None spoke. I realized only I could speak. I looked at them; some were Christians, some Hindus, some Buddhists, some Muslims, some Jews, some atheists. Some, God knows what. I stopped, paused. A hesitant St Peter looked at me, patiently, expectantly.

"What about these guys?" I asked him. "My friends. Can they come?"

"Well, Phil," he replied, soft in the still air, "You know the rules. I’m sorry, but that’s the way things are. Only the right ones."

I looked at him. He seemed genuinely pained by his answer. I stood, considering. What should I do? I thought about my reference points, and thought about Jesus, the bastard, the outsider, the unacceptable, the drunkard, the fool, the heretic, the criminal, and I knew exactly where I belonged.

"I’ll just stay here then too," I said, taking my one foot out of heaven. And I’ll tell you, I’d swear I saw something like a grin break across St Peter’s face, and a voice from inside whispered,

"At last."

Once again, taken from IKON

Buddhist Parable

Translating the Word of God

There was once a young and gifted woman who set herself the almost impossible task of setting up a printing press so that she could translate and distribute the word of God to those in her country. Yet such a task required a great deal of money and so she sold the few items that she possessed and went to live on the streets, begging for the money that was required.

Raising the necessary funds took many years, for a while there were a few who gave generously most only give a little, if anything at all. But gradually, over time, the money began to accumulate.

However shortly before the plans for the printing press could be set in motion, a dreadful flood devastated a nearby town destroying many people’s homes and livelihood. Without hesitation the woman used all the money she had gathered to feed the hungry and rebuild lost homes.

Once the town began to recover the woman went back to the streets in order to start again, collecting for the amount needed to translate the word of God.

More years passed, with the cold winters and rough street life inflicting great suffering. Then, shortly before the target amount was reached disaster struck again. This time a plague descended like a cloud over the city taking the lives of thousands.

By now the woman was herself tired and ill, yet without thought she spent the money she had collected on medicines and spent her time caring for the sick.

Then, once the shadow of the plague lifted, she again took to the streets, driven by her desire to translate the word of God.

Finally, shortly before her death, this faithful woman gathered the money required for the printing press and completed the project she had set herself many years before.

After she had passed away it was said by some that this godly woman had actually spent her life making three translations of the Word, the first two being the most beautiful of all.

Once again, taken from IKON

Zen Parable

The Moon Cannot Be Stolen

Ryokan, a Zen master, lived the simplest kind of life in a little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening a thief visited the hut only to discover there was nothing to steal.

Ryokan returned and caught him. 'You may have come a long way to visit me,' he told the prowler, 'and you should not return empty-handed. Please take my clothes as a gift.'

The thief was bewildered. He took the clothes and slunk away.

Ryokan sat naked, watching the moon. 'Poor fellow,' he mused, 'I wish I could give him this beautiful moon.'

Other parables from IKON in the UK.
This stuff courtesy of Cory's blog on it.

R.I.P. Luther Vandross: 1951-2005

R.I.P

Luther Vandross
1951 - 2005

It finally happened. The greatest male R&B voice of all time has passed on. At only 54 years, he was in the prime of his youth. At last he'll finally have that chance to dance with his father again. In the wake of this tragedy, I predict a population boom 'round about tax time next year. After all, when news of his passing gets around, folks are going to naturally want to start putting on his old CD's and tapes. And you know what happens when you put on some old Luther stuff. I ain't playin'!

Anyway, the other concern I have is this: Celebrities always pass away in groups of 3. Don't act like it isn't true, because it is. Think back - or check your back issues of Entertainment Weekly. Everytime a major celebrity "wins the big Grammy" (you like that one, don't you?), at least 2 others follow in relatively close proximity. I couldn't make this stuff up, folks. Now I'm worried who else it's going to be. I always start to get really protective of my favorite celebs when this kind of thing goes down. I put in a call to the people who handle Adam West (the old 60's TV show Batman), because I think it would be particularly ironic for him to die right now. I should also send some e-mails to all four Monkees, and Billy Graham. I had a letter all written out, and ready to send to Fred Gwynne (The Munsters, Car 54, My Cousin Vinnie), and then I found out that he had actually died back in 1993. I did love his work, though.

Also - the right honorable Mr. Vandross' website lists him as "The World's Greatest R&B Vocalist". I guess that title's up for grabs, now, isn't it? Don't mind if I do....

Get freaked out

Perhaps one of the coolest, most disturbing things I have ever encountered in my entire life.
I want to look away - I really do. But I just can't. And neither can you, I predict.

Get freaked out.

If she gets stuck. Click and drag. Seriously.

I found this link on Robert Terrell's site at Ministry Via Mistakes.
Thanks a freakin' lot, Robert.

Three priests walk into a bistro...

I hate for my first post in weeks to be a link somewhere else, but if you check this out, I think you'll thank me.

Three Priests Walk Into A Bistro...

Seriously.  Start reading, and stick with it... it's worth it.  It's not that long.  I found it through a link on Real Live Preacher's blog at Salon.com.

Good stuff.

Shalom.

What's your theological worldview?

Yeah, I know. I was as surprised as you are. Take the thing for yourself.

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this. Emergent/Postmodern 75% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 68% Neo orthodox 57% Classical Liberal 43% Roman Catholic 36% Reformed Evangelical 32% Modern Liberal 32% Fundamentalist 25% Charismatic/Pentecostal 25% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

Batman McLaren

- Finished watching Equilibrium yesterday morning. It stars (as you can see) Christian Bale, Emily Watson, and Taye Diggs. Oh – and Robert the Bruce from Braveheart, whatever his name is. I am gearing up for Batman Begins, so I rented it, not just because Christian Bale is in it, but because Joss Whedon says it’s the best Batman movie ever filmed. Even though it’s, uhhh - not a Batman movie. The plot isn’t much. It steals from Fahrenheit 451 and 1984 pretty liberally, and is generally unimportant to what I wanted to see. If Christian Bale’s Bruce/Batman is anything like his character in Equilibrium, this might really be the Batman film we fanboys have been waiting for. The hand-to-hand fighting scenes are MIND-BLOWING, and though it can get a little silly at times, the gunplay is RIDICULOUS. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. Aside from the guns – this is Batman. I hope that Batman Begins in turn borrows liberally from Equilibrium when it comes to fight scenes. You should check it out. If you’re into that kind of thing (you are).

- Speaking of Batman Begins – suckachumps moved the release date on me. Instead of Friday, June 17^th (2 days before my birthday), it’s now scheduled to drop on Wednesday, June 15^th. And I had all these great plans to rent the party room at Rave, and invite all my friends for cake and ice cream, popcorn, soda, and Batman party hats. I guess I could still do it. It’s a good thing I don’t have to work on Wednesday nights, or anything. Oh, wait. Jerks.

- This week’s Entertainment Weekly Summer Movie Preview issue confirms what I have known all along – that Katie Holmes and I share something very special. Something that obviously transcends all known kinds of human relationships, and is sure to result in everlasting bliss, as soon as we get together (WOW – textbook stalker language. Nice.). In EW, she mentions that during the filming of Batman Begins, she had to ask Christian Bale not to speak to her when he was in the Batman costume, because she had such a crush on him. So A) She has a real thing for Batman (not Christian – Batman.) and B) She’s got a thing for Tom Cruise. Kindred souls, I tell ya.

- Last Friday I finished reading the new Brian McLaren book, The Last Word And The Word After That. Bought it on Tuesday, started reading on Thursday afternoon, finished reading on Friday afternoon. All in all, it took about six total hours. SIX! I couldn’t put it down. When I heard him say that it was a book about Hell, I just assumed that that was one of many topics he’d cover, or that it would be the most controversial topic, so his critics would make it a book about Hell. Pretty much, no. It’s a book about Hell. How interesting can that be, right? Did you read the first part of this paragraph!??
Now, I'm not ready to just swallow all of his theology just because I like some other parts of it, but I can see how this argument could be very persuasive, and compelling - a relief, even, to people who are looking for answers outside of traditional Christian teaching on this subject. Sometimes I have to temper my response to his ideas. I am afraid of being a reactionary, and latching on to something just because it is a relief from my particular context. However, his point is at least worth considering, to even the most conservative among us. Do yourself a favor and read the New Kind Of Christian trilogy.