Friday, October 15, 2004

Hells Bells

Hells Bells Volume Two!!

Hells Bells is a documentary extolling the evils of Rock-n-Roll music! Sex, drugs, Satanism, the occult, symbols, back-masking, subliminal messages, tribal spiritual rhythms, murder, and all the worst things an individual can be involved in are exposed in this 3 ½ hour documentary hosted by the mullet-sporting Eric Holmberg. I remember as a teenager watching Hells Bells Volume One and just being completely fascinated by all the “evil” stuff they showed! I must have borrowed this video from Klondike a dozen times just to rock out.

So a few years ago, when I saw that Hells Bells 2 was coming out – I was elated. 6 hours and 10 minutes of pure heaven, on 2 DVD’s. Suggested retail price - $99.95. Special Introductory price - $69.95. Buy It Now on Ebay – $29.99 plus shipping. You better believe I snagged it. It came in on Monday.

This is Brett. He's 18. He's pretty much one of the coolest guys you'll ever meet. He reminds me alot of me when I was his age. He's all about the music. He's like a little hairy Matt Pinfield. Anyway, Brett's having some girl trouble right now. What are you gonna do, right? Nothing takes away the hurt like some good old fashioned rocking out, and Brett was as excited about Hells Bells 2 as I was. We've been getting together to watch it section by section. After all, who's got 6 hours in a row, right? Not me. Not Brett. Plus - we want to savor it, you know? Well, it turns out that this new Hells Bells is pretty freaking slow at times. And they talk about a lot of stuff that doesn't rock.

Well, regardless, we are wading through the parts that suck, to get to the parts that rule. I think we've finally made it to the part that we've been waiting for. Brett keeps saying "Just freakin' play some Slayer!!"

Well said, Brett. Well said.

I think there's some Slayer in our near future. Also some Venom, Marilyn Manson, and Deicide. We may even be treated to some new examples of back-masking. You know - where you play an Amy Grant album backwards, and you hear her say, "Help me, Satan, daddy's baby" - that stuff.

As you can see by the picture just to the north of this sentence, I too, am all about the rock. Apparently, I'm all about the whiskers, too. Actually, not anymore. Whiskers look funny with a shaved head. Anyway, I'm extremely pumped about Hells Bells 2: The Power And Spirit Of Popular Music, and wanted to recommend it to you. Anybody out there seen either one of these documentaries? Don't be shy.

Now if you'll excuse me - I'm about to miss Joan of Arcadia - and we just can't have that.

Shalom out

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