Saturday, October 15, 2005

Golden Age J.T.


Earlier today, when I was in the shower, I was thinking of all the things that will be different about living in Houston. One of the biggest drawbacks will be the water. Over here we have what you would call "soft" water. You know, the kind where after you shower, you're not always sure you were able to wash all the soap off? Well, over in H-town, they have what you call "hard" water. The kind where it's difficult to get a smooth shave, and your skin is never slick, but actually kind of rubbery.

Then I got to thinking - the Golden Age Flash, Jay Garrick, was the first speedster in all of comics. And do you know how he got his speed? As a college student he was investigating the properties of so-called experimental "hard" water, and prolonged exposure to it caused him to develop super-speed. Yeah, I know - doesn't connect quite as well as getting bitten by a radioactive spider, or having your parents killed right before your eyes - but that's the story. Anyways, here's hoping that after years of being used the the "soft" water, prolonged exposure to the "hard" stuff will endow me with powers I never could have imagined. Like the ability to run at several times the speed of sound. Then I could come visit you all on my lunch break, and be back at work in plenty of time. *Fingers crossed!*

6 comments:

krysten said...

um, sorry to burst your bubble, babe, but i've been in AZ for five years now and i've yet to notice any super powers emerging. (although i can catch my child falling with a cat-like quickness! but i attribute that to the on-going paranoiad/delirious mental state that motherhood keeps me in)

i think you'll be stuck with only your lightning fast soap-catching reflexes...

;-)

ps - i hate hard water!

jamie said...

I think this might be my favorite post ever.

J.T. said...

Are you mocking the Fastest Man Alive? The Scarlet Speedster?

jamie said...

No; I was actually serious. :-)

Shelly said...

Are Flash and Thor related somehow?

Because in that picture - he reminds me an awful lot of Thor from the movie, Adventures in Babysitting.

The Bagboy said...

Hard water rules. That soft water crap is like bathing in oil...you never seem to get it all off.

Besides, I've lived with hard water all my life, and look at all the superpowers I have. Cynic power go! Self deprecate power go! Lazy power go! Nebbish Man, away!