Days 3 and 4 - Genesis 28:20-40:11 and 40:12-50:26

What an epic two days! The story of Jacob and Joseph is the stuff movies are made from! It's a brilliant bronze-age tale. It's got everything - trickeration, sexytime, war, famine, infighting, work, love, separation and reconciliation - but it won't let us forget how primitive these people and times were. I'm trying to cut down on the notes, but keep in mind this is two days worth.
Now - new and improved with links to the described passages at Biblegateway.com!

Chapter 29
- My old Hebrew professor told us that "Leah" means "cow". Awesome!

Chapters 30 & 31
- I love how they gave their children names that meant something about the circumstances surrounding their birth. I wish more people did this today - but I'm afraid if they did the most common name of 2008 would end up being Whoops!, or VanHalenTourMilwaukee. Incidentally, the most commonly given boys' name for 2006 (the last year on record) was Jacob. So how 'bout that.

- See, now this is why polygamy is a problem.

Chapter 32
- See, now the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel is absolutely one of the coolest things ever. It says so much about the journey of Jacob's life, and who he has become. When we first meet Jacob, the "heel-snatcher", the "trickster", he lives up to his name. The first time we see him posed with the question "Who are you?" (by his father, Isaac, when he steals his brother's blessing), he pretends to be someone else. Not comfortable in his own skin, or playing his own role - not content with the station allotted to him in life - he denies being Jacob at all.

Since then he has fled for his life from Esau, encountered God at Bethel, worked for years on Laban's farm, married the wrong woman, then the right one, had a multitude of sons, and brokered a deal with Laban to make himself rich. He has undergone quite a maturing process. Now, when asked, "Who are you?" or "What is your name?" he is finally ready to respond, "Jacob". And no sooner has he done so, but God changes his name to Israel.

Chapter 34
- Not a ton of notes on this Chapter, but I did find it sadly hilarious what Jacob's sons did to the man who raped their sister, and then asked to pleasepleaseplease marry her.
"I tell you what. Why don't you and all of your men have this primitive genital mutilation ritual performed on yourselves - and then we'll talk."
2 days later, they're all limping and sore...
"Okay guys... we did what you asked! (ouch) Now can I marry your si-SLICECUTKILLDIE!
Awesome.

Chapter 38
- Ahh, the famous prooftext on masturbation.
For the record - Onan was struck dead for not producing and heir with his dead brother's wife like he was supposed to, not for "spilling his semen on the ground".

Chapters 40 &41
- Ahhh, Joseph - the fresh-faced little spoiled brat of Jacob's brood. Told all 10 of his older brothers about a dream he had where they would all bow down to him. It's what got him sold off to Egypt in the first place. Now, here he using his dream-interpreting skills to get out of jail, and find favor with Pharoah. Vindicated!

Chapters 42-44
- Joseph must have been absolutely relishing this opportunity to mess with his brothers, after what he had done to him. Didn't he have the right to be angry? I think his point of view on the whole incident was really interesting. What they intended for ill, God intended for good, therefore they didn't send him to Egypt - God did. What an interesting insight for all of us when our circumstances seem to take a turn for the worse.

Chapter 45
- I would really like to have been a scarab beetle on the palace wall for Joseph's big reveal.

- Don't do it boys! 400 years of oppression! Bricks without straw! Bricks without straaaawwwwww.....

That's it for Genesis.
Exodus tomorrow.

Day 2 - Genesis 17:1-28:19

I've really gotta ease up on the notes.
Starting tomorrow, of course.

- Genesis 17:5 - a name change. See yesterday.

- In Genesis 17:11 God institutes circumcision as a way of identifying His covenant with Abraham and his descendants. Really? Circumcision? There's not a better way of identifying the "chosen people"? There's not a less-painful, less-traumatic, perhaps more-noticeable way? Ideally - most people will never know whether a person is circumcised or not, correct?

The other freaky thing is - context suggests that circumcision was already a thing.
I mean - God and Abraham didn't invent it here, they just adopted it.
Somebody else, at some point, thought it would be a great idea to take a flint-knife to their foreskin... or someone else's.

-Genesis 17:15 - another name change.
God: "I will decide who you are. Nobody else."

- Why is it so ridiculous to Abraham and Sarah that they would have children at 100 and 90, respectively? Abraham's own father was 70 when he was born. Only 10 generations ago, Shem - who was still alive at this point (do the math! Or check out this chart) - had a child at 100 years of age.

- Genesis 18:13-15. This exchange between Sarah, Abraham and God made me laugh.

- Genesis 18:20-33 is Abraham bartering with God to spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. A few observations here. 1) Abraham actually believes his conversation with God can affect the outcome. 2) It does. 3) Why does he stop at 10 faithful men? Why doesn't he go all the way to 1? Especially since he knows Lot and his family are there.

- Genesis 19:8. That dude Lot sold his daughters out to a porchload of sexual deviants a little too quickly for my taste.

- Genesis 19:13. Where is this "outcry" against Sodom coming from? The neighbors? Lot's daughters?

- After their Mom is turned into a pillar of salt, Lot's daughters get him drunk and take turns getting pregnant by him. To them, it seems a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Like a post-apocalyptic, last-man-on-earth scenario. To me, it sounds like the kind of scarred-psyche thinking that results from knowing your father would hand you over to a city full of angelphiles with a penchant for buggery.

- In Genesis 20, we again have Abraham saying that Sarah is his sister, so that the locals don't figure her for his wife and kill him for her. She's taken and almost taken advantage of by the local prefect. What I don't get is that, at this point - SARAH IS MORE THAN 90 YEARS OLD!

- Genesis 24:3. The phrase "put your hand under my thigh", sounds a little pull-my-finger-ish. The textual note in my Bible says, "Near the organ of procreation, probably because this oath was related to Abraham's last will and testament, and called for obedience on the part of Isaac."
Either way. Ew.

- Genesis 25:25. Esau, also known as Edom. Edom means "red", and is a version of Adam, which means "dirt". Both are plays on the word for the red clay indigenous to the region.

- Genesis 25:26. Jacob means, literally, "heel-snatcher", and figuratively, "trickster". What's in a name?

- Genesis 26:7. Wife? Sister? Wife? Sister? Like father like son, I guess. Weren't Abraham and Isaac ever afraid that somebody would eventually sleep with their wives because they didn't realize they were already married?

The Bible, Day 1 - Genesis 1:1 - 16:16

The world's greatest small group (ours) has decided to read through the Bible in 90 Days. We're using the plan in this book. 12 pages a day for 90 days. Abby and I read day 1 last night, and I decided to make some notes to post here. Look for this to be ongoing. Either that or I am a backslidden apostate on a fast train to Hellville. Your guess is as good as mine.

Here we go:
- During the creation account, Day 2 is the only day that is not called "good". It's true. Go back and read it again. I didn't notice this on my own, somebody had to point it out to me. But now I can't read Genesis 1 without thinking about it. Creation scientists would say that it's because that's the day God created the "firmament" (KJV) - a highly compressed layer of water that surrounded the earth in its upper atmosphere. They theorize that God knew he would later destroy this layer of water when he flooded the world (see Noah, Ark, Genesis 7), so he refrained from calling it "good". I, however, do not consider myself a creation scientist.

- Genesis 1:29-30 (you're gonna have to go back and look these up yourself. It can only help you.) This is before the fall. Before sin entered the world. When things were as God had created them and intended them to be. Did God intend for all men and beasts to be vegetarians/herbivores? It seems so from this verse. This would also suggest that there was no death before sin entered the world - not even animals killed for food - which makes sense to me, since death comes as a result of sin. Well, maybe there was large-scale plant death - but nobody cares about plants. They're not real life. Right?

- Maybe this is a little too John Eldredge - but Genesis 2 reminds me that Eve was created in the Garden, and that Adam was created somewhere else and "placed" in the Garden.

- Genesis 2:19, 20 - Assigning a name to something/someone means you have authority over them. Adam and the animals... parents and their children. This will become more important when we consider Abram/Abraham, Jacob/Israel, Saul/Paul, etc.

- Genesis 3:3 - Eve tells the serpent that God told them they weren't to eat of the fruit of that tree, or even touch it, which is a step beyond what God actually said. Since Eve wasn't around at the time God gave this order, I'm wondering if Adam told her that part - "Look - don't even touch it!" - just to cover his butt. How'd that work out for you, bro?

- Genesis 3:22 - Apparently, the Tree of Life is a completely different thing than the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. I have more thoughts on this than I'd like to type here. But woe unto my small group on Sunday!

- Cain and Abel. (HT to Brian McLaren on this)
Cain (Farmer. Field owner)... KILLED Abel (Shepherd. Livestock owner) in a field!
Two livelihoods that are fundamentally in conflict.
McLaren suggests that these two represent huge shifts in human culture. One agrarian, tied to the land for life, prone to accumulating stuff, nervous about protecting its boundaries and interests. And the other nomadic, free to wander, trusting in God to provide new land for animals to graze in. Perhaps Cain killed Abel over a boundary dispute. I fear I've said too much already.

- I have no idea what Genesis 4:26 means.
"At that time, people began to call upon the name of the Lord."

- Genesis 6:4 is one of the classic "What the!?!" verses in the entire Bible. I love Madeline L'Engle's book Many Waters, and its take. She tells a story where the Nephilim and Seraphim are angelic beings, 9 feet tall and beautiful, who also take the form of some animal. They scandalously intermarry with the daughters of men. It's fiction, of course, but interesting fiction, nonetheless.

- Noah entered the ark on the 17th day of the 2nd month, and finally exited the ark on the 27th day of the 2nd month - 1 year and 10 days later! I'm not sure what the calendar differences are between them and us, but I do know this - that is one long stinky boat ride.

- Genesis 9:3 - God officially opens up animals as an option for food. Meat is no longer murder. Why now? Why wait this long?

- Genesis 10:25 - "To Eber were born two sons: the name of the one was Peleg, for in his days the earth was divided" Not sure what the heck that means. Commentaries and the New Living Translation tell me it might refer to the Tower of Babel, when people began to speak different languages, and went separate ways. But I certainly wouldn't get that from a straight reading of most translations.

That's all for Day 1. Stay tuned - I'm off now to read for Day 2.

Awesome!

(click to enlargify)

How To Be Good

Well, mission accomplished. I just finished How To Be Good by Nick Hornby. I must say, it was a very enjoyable read. I have missed reading fiction, and this was a welcome Renaissance. It took me about a week, and quite frankly could have taken half that time if I wanted. It was refreshing to find a book that I would pick up in favor of turning on the TV. I confess that it is difficult to steal my affection from television. After all, we've been together so long.

The book itself is the story told from the perspective of Katie, a successful doctor in the town of Leeds in the central part of England. She becomes dissatisfied with her marriage to David, a newspaper columnist known as "the angriest man in Holloway". Kind of like an Andy Rooney, or a Peter Griffin "What Grinds My Gears" kind of columnist. After dropping the D-bomb (divorce) on him, the couple struggles to decide what to do about their failing relationship when David undergoes a radical spiritual transformation. No longer "the angriest man in Holloway", he sets out on a mission to change the world - starting with his family. Katie who was unsure about the man he was, finds this new David almost unrecognizable, and struggles with questions about his worldview, and what it means for their already shaky marriage. It's a hilarious, complex, intelligent story that, in the end, asks the question - Is it really possible to change the world, when it's so very difficult to change yourself?

Since I liked How To Be Good so much, I've decided to move on to another Nick Hornby effort - A Long Way Down. From what I can tell, it's about four strangers who happen upon each other on the roof of a London building famous as a last stop for those about to end their lives, and the conversations they have with each other about their reasons for wanting to do so.

Anybody read this one before?
If you have, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.
Billy - I'd also like to hear what you think of How To Be Good, if you're anywhere near finished.
After this, if I'm not too burned out on Hornby - I might go ahead and read High Fidelity, even though I said I would avoid the ones that had been made into movies that I had seen. After that - maybe some Tolkein, or maybe I'll do what Abby has started doing, and pick Desire of the Everlasting Hills back up.

The "meh" heard 'round the world!

Amid sub-zero temperatures in the underworld, flocks of pigs in V-formation, and the trauma of flying monkeys escaping from rectums worldwide - several sources are reporting that it is here!!
It's finally here!!

CHINESE DEMOCRACY!
No, kids. Not actual Democracy in China. Don't be silly.

I'm talking about the long, long, long-awaited (but I'm not sure by whom) new album from Guns 'N Roses.
(Featuring exactly 1 of the original band members. It's like if Credence Clearwater Re-Visited put out an album of new music.)
Apparently, Axl has finally handed over the finished product to Geffen records for release. Rumors are it will be accompanied by either a production documentary feature, or a reality TV show.
What took so long, you might ask?

(HT to The Onion)

Thoughtlets...

- Bikes
Abby and I bought ourselves a couple of bikes this weekend. Here is a picture of what I got, except mine is solid orange-ish red. It's a Mongoose. The seat is VERY uncomfortable, and has left an indelible impression on my butt. We're not hardcore biker-folk like some of our friends but we've been saying for a while that it would be cool to have some bikes to ride around the neighborhood when the weather is nice. Also it's cool to get our heart rates up on nights when we can't make it to the gym.

On Sunday afternoon I rode my bike to Langham Creek High School from my house to play football with some guys from church. Then I rode it home. Then I went to church that night and played Dodgeball with like a hundred youth. Then I passed out by 10:30, and didn't wake up until 12:30 p.m. on Monday. Then I got out of bed and prayed to God to let me walk again someday.

- Books
I had been thinking recently that I don't read enough fiction. I don't read enough non-fiction either, really. There are roughly eleventy bazillion and one books that I have started and abandoned. Like Desire of the Everlasting Hills, which has been in my right-hand column over there for almost a year. It's a great book, don't get me wrong. It has just fallen victim to my lack of focus and large blocks of reading-time.

So last week I had Gigi the bookstore lady at church order me a copy of House by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. A nice juicy fiction book. I sat and read most of it in like a day, and was really enjoying it. It's like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre/The Hills Have Eyes/Cube/Saw hybrid. I actually recommended it to some people just as I was about to finish it. Then I read the last couple of chapters.

Why does every book by a Christian author have to have such a lame ending? Why's it gotta be all preachy? Why does it always have to end up being some lame religious allegory where the light quite literally overcomes the darkness, or the willful death of the innocent character ends up being the undoing of the evil character? It would be one thing if that's the kind of book it was for 30 some-odd chapters. But right around 35-40, it became all redemptive and predictable.

The whole experience was kind of like kissing your sister. Yes - YOUR sister (Shut up, Billy). I enjoyed reading a fictional work that I didn't want to put down, but in the end it ended up sucking. I should have known better.

So I've decided to declare a moratorium on all the religious and non-fiction stuff I currently have in the pipeline, (Sorry Desire of the Everlasting Hills. Sorry Church Re-Imagined. Sorry The Shack. Sorry The Bible) and just focus on one nice fiction read until I finish it. Just kidding about that Bible one. Anyway - I'm going with How To Be Good by Nick Hornby (the High Fidelity, Fever Pitch, About A Boy guy). An interesting read so far, especially knowing that Abby just finished reading it a few weeks ago. It's about a woman, already dissatisfied in her marriage, whose husband undergoes an extreme spiritual conversion, and how she must deal with it.

Anyway - Sorry other books. I'm in a monogamous relationship now. I don't have time for flirting with you anymore. It was time for me to make a commitment to one book, all the way through - and I've chosen How To Be Good. It's smart, funny, interesting, and it doesn't make me feel stupid like you sometimes did. So please - don't call. Don't write. Don't wait for me on the back of the toilet. I don't want to see you anymore. Not for a long while, anyway.

I had a few other thoughtlets today, but they can wait until tomorrow.
Or later on today.

Your new favorite blog (with apologies to go brain, go!)

I guarantee this will become your new favorite blog and mine.

Stuff Christians Like

Best rip-off ever of the popular Stuff White People Like blog - in keeping with #1 on the list - Putting a God Spin on Popular Secular Ideas.

You must read now.

In strangely related news, #7 on that list is Stryper.

The other night I was watching R.E.M. on the Colbert Report, and Michael Stipe mentioned Stryper as their influence during the 80's.
Score one for the yellow and black attack!!

Is this wrong...

The truck from Comcast has been outside my neighbor's house a couple of times in the last week or two.
That seems like a lot to me.
And if I were the CEO of Comcast it would probably seem like really bad advertising for my company.
So - if I were the CEO of Comcast, and I knew my trucks would frequently be seen outside of the same person's house for repairs, I would make a very strategic marketing move.
Instead of slapping a Comcast magnet on the outside of each truck, I would have some Dish Network or DIRECTV magnets printed up, and put them on my Comcast trucks.

Is that wrong?

The Rabbi says...

"You have to be so totally disconnected from the pain of the world to think that blogging is somehow a redemptive use of your time."

- Rob Bell in Q &A: Rob Bell Tells It Like It Is, Relevant Magazine - January/February 2008 Issue

Zing!-ed by the rabbi once again!
(see this previous post for his first, more personal insult to me.)
But I'm not bitter.

Being Reel Careful

Robert has a post up at his blog about movie nights for youth groups, and what to show at them. It's a great question, and one I have struggled with over and over again for movie nights, long charter bus rides, and Disciple Now sleepovers.

What are some entertaining and appropriate choices for movie night? It's a fine line to walk. I would never dream of exposing my students to crap like Facing The Giants, but is it ever okay to show Pulp Fiction? I have a friend who has, and shows stuff like that to his group all the time. I don't think I'd be comfortable with that, but what would I be comfortable with?

Is there a level of acceptable profanity? Does it matter which words are used? Even the S-word is commonly used in PG films, but on a bus full of Middle and High School students, you can't hear the movie for all the "ohhhh!"'s and "what!?"'s every time they say it. PG-13 films (appropriate for 13 year olds?) are even allowed a certain quota of F-words. And those things sneak up on you. You might remember what you're watching as a perfectly acceptable family flick, that you've watched a million times before. But when you watch it with students, you notice language, content and situations you would have never even blinked at before. It's like watching it with your parents, or grandparents.

Maybe it's just an indicator about how hypocritical we all are in our church/home lives. We're all watching these movies at home, but when we watch them together on a bus, we're like Baptists running into each other at the liquor store. Sooo appalled.

The point is - you can only watch The Princess Bride and Labyrinth so many times. Actually - I'm pretty sure Bowie's - ahem - "hose-pipe syndrome" in that flick is offensive enough. And I'm not sure how many cartoon or computer animated features my High Schoolers will endure before there's a mutiny, and I'm left standing on the side of the road, while the bus pulls away showing Seasons 1-5 of Family Guy and the Flight of the Conchords DVD. Oh - and until there's a complete REVOLUTION in the way "Christian" or "Inspirational" films are made - I'll not be showing any of that drivel.

So what are some really good movies that you'd consider appropriate for a youth group movie night, or, let's sayyyy - a 16 hour charter bus trip to Glorieta, NM June 22-28, 2008?

6 Questions

Tonight the 12th grade guys small group and the 11th and 12th grade girls small group are meeting together at my house. I'm trying something a little bit different with them. Instead of using a curriculum or a video or something to teach, I have chosen a passage of scripture (John Chapter 9, about the man born blind) and will ask them the following series of questions to answer in groups of 2 or 3.

The questions, to be asked and discussed one at a time are as follows:

1. What do you like best about this passage?
2. What do you like least about this passage?
3. What do you not understand about this passage?
4. What do you learn about God from this passage?
5. Based on what you read and learned from this passage, what do you personally need to do?
6. What phrase or verse from this passage do you want to take with you?

The disclaimer is: These questions didn't come from me.
A few weeks ago, on a retreat with the staff, advisors, and lay-leadership of our church, a consultant named Carol Davis did this exercise as a devotional with us. She actually used the Luke 10:1-7 passage where Jesus sends out the 72.

My first reaction was, "Who gives a crap what I like, or dislike about a passage from scripture?! What does that have to do with anything?" But I was really surprised at how well the whole exercise worked with our leadership group.

Afterward, she asked how often we had been in Bible Studies that had focused so much on scripture. Ouch. Too often we have been guilty of relying on books, videos, and materials that use scripture only marginally, and calling it "Bible Study". Kind of like the "Bible Study" I did with the college students using Blue Like Jazz, and the study guide from it. Kind of silly.

Anyway - then she asked an even better question - How hard would it be for the average person to lead a B.S. using this method? Not very. So that will be the question for my students tonight. Couldn't you lead a B.S. if it was this simple? Maybe at your school? Maybe for a group of Middle Schoolers, or younger High Schoolers? Maybe for your family?

I understand that a study that follows these questions every week (or every day) might seem tedious after a while - but really the point is not to answer the questions, but to answer the questions in a group, and hear others answer them about different passages of scripture.

Anybody got any thoughts about this kind of thing?

I Dwink YOUR Miwkshake!

Dear Blurried,

(Mostly in response to Shane's post over at Blurried.)

Okay, so - here's the thing, and no, this is not about to become an American Idol blog.
Last night during David Cook's performance I was slack-jawed and drooling.
I was amazed.
Not only does that song hold no small amount of sentimental value for me, but i thought to myself,

"This kid must be some kind of re-arrangement genius."

I was floored.
Then I rewound my DVR, only to hear Seacrest introduce it as Chris Cornell's version of Billie Jean.

Now I'm not as impressed.
Also - isn't that cheating a little bit?
I mean, if the theme is "Songs From The Year I Was Born", then using a version of it that didn't exist until more than a decade later seems like an unfair advantage.

I wish Chikezie would have had that option - because that dude's really entertaining, and sang the heck out of a song that was really dated.

Don't misunderstand - David Cook's performance was BY FAR the best of the night. He was a total standout. With this performance, and last week's version of Day Tripper (also VERY cool), he has finally found a spot in the competition that he deserves, whereas a few weeks ago, I would have gladly traded him for Cruella Deville just for novelty's sake.

Abby said it, and I agree. It would be cool for that guy to win American Idol. Either way, he'll probably be famous. But I'm just afraid he's going to get stuck as the front man for some Daughtry-esque Nickelback clone. And the world's got at least 2 too many of those already.

To summarize:
Tap natch performance by David Cook: Check
Killer cool arrangement by Chris Cornell: Check
Unfair advantage over other contestants, and questionable integrity: Check, check!

-------

Next item on today's Idol-themed post made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

When they announced that Kristy Lee Cook would be singing, Proud To Be An American, I couldn't help but groan. I continued my groaning all the way through her dismal, bored performance of the worlds second cheesiest song (not even good enough to be the cheesiest).
It wasn't the surprising raves that she got from the judges that cracked me up, it was this comment from Simon,

"If I'm not mistaken, that song was written by a man named Lee Greenwood. Brilliant writer. Brilliant song."

In summary:
Respect for Simon's musical "expertise": ______

(that's NO CHECK in case you were wondering...)

Man...

... somebody should totally post something here.

U23D

What doesn't kill you makes you ... stranger.....

Just released! A pair of International Teaser posters for The Dark Knight. HOLY FREAKIN' COW!

Dude - Cloverfield.

5 freakin' minutes of the movie! What the heck is this about?

ZING!

Robert has become a ministry god because Doug Pagitt posted a letter he wrote a few days ago (a letter that i would agree was excellent). It is now my goal to quote Robert as much as possible within my posts and thereby raise my ministry street cred.

Robert is cooler than me because he never ever ever mentioned it - unlike some people whose egos are in such need of a stroke that they send out the link in an e-mail to everybody they know.

Seriously, dude - I was reading that post not knowing it was you, and thinking, "Man, I can totally relate to that guy." Then when I got to the point where you mentioned Stevens Point, Wisconsin I thought - "Hey! Robert lives there!" I'm an idiot. I should have known it was you at "CHRIST-mas lights".

Shalom.

P.S. I am totally writing a book called:
Ministry god Marriage Counseling by Robert Terrell by J.T.

No kidding. The manuscript is a Word document in my My Documents folder. Look for it at your local retailer this Spring - just in time to make a perfect shower gift for June brides!

What Would Batman Do?

Earlier today, I came across somebody on a message board using this as their avatar:






No. I do not read message boards at work.

9 Most Bad*** Bible Verses EVER.

Go HERE for the hilarity.

And due to graphic violence, some profanity, and frank sexual language - this link is not suitable for younger viewers. Parents strongly cautioned.

(thanks to Cracked.com)

Why So Serious?

BEST.
POSTER.
EVER.

Discuss.

WOO-HOO!!

I got my Everything Is Spiritual DVD today!
(Check out www.everythingisspiritual.com)

KABOOOOOM!

That was my head.

Your turn:

Mo' money, mo' problems (Alternatively - "Dolla dolla bills, y'all!")

A clear and concise (not to mention entertaining) explanation of WHY I'M STUCK WITH RE-RUNS RIGHT NOW - AND SO MANY FREAKIN' REALITY SHOWS!!

Pay the writers already!!

Shofar - so good.

So - blah blah blah - spiritual gifts, blah blah "one body, many parts", blah blah blah kingdom of Heaven.
What I mean is - all the churchy words I would use to describe the relevance of this clip would be powerless against the actual viewing of it. So just watch it, okay? And remember - it's a beautiful thing.

I do love the way it all starts with the blowing of the Shofar, though. A nice touch.

Shout out to Brit, who commented the other day, and who I stole this from. Thanks.

OH SNAP!

"I would rather be wrong with Brian McLaren than right with D.A. Carson..."
- Leonard Sweet

This quote won't mean anything to most of you who read this blog, but to the 3 or 4 of you who will understand it - OH SNAP!

FBC, Legoland

(click photos to embiggen, or enlargify)

thanks to Alan Hirsch and The Forgotten Ways blog

Larry the Bear

Preguntas

I must confess that in my most frustrated times in ministry, I have turned for solace to the job listings at youthspecialties.com, or churchstaffing.com, or minstrysearch.com, or even the illustrious list put together by that dude Craig.

Sometimes, (staring at those job postings with their qualifications and prerequisites, and those churches with their programs and statements of faith) I wonder if I could, with any intellectual honesty, continue to do youth ministry, or even work on a church staff at all.

Then I ask myself, "Would I recognize the ideal position if it showed up on one of these sites?" And in response to that, I think I've come up with what I think would be the coolest ministry position ever.

Minister of Questions.
I think I would make a good Minister of Questions.
The guy responsible for asking difficult questions about faith. Questions that need to be asked. Questions that sometimes we are too afraid or too comfortable to ask ourselves. Questions that propel us into a search for something deeper, something fresher, something more real. Questions that actually require truth as their answer.

I would welcome questions from others about my own life and faith, as well. I love them. After all, that's why I'm in the questioning business in the first place! I would work extra hard to make sure that I'm a safe place for people to ask the most scandalous of questions, and offer the most unorthodox of answers for consideration.

I would hold gatherings, large and small, where people could come together to ask and be asked questions (really important ones, and maybe sometimes little fun ones, too). Sometimes I'd answer a question with another question, not to be difficult, but because sometimes the best answer is another question. Sometimes the answers would be life-altering, and would come from the most unlikely people and places. Sometimes we wouldn't really be concerned with answers at all. After all - I'm not the "Answer Guy", I'm the "Question Guy".

When I read about Jesus, and those who interacted with Him, I come across some of the most profound questions in all of life.

"You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Matthew 8:26, Matthew 14:31
"Why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?" Matthew 14:3
"Who do people say that I am?" Matthew 16:13, Mark 8:27; Luke 9:18
"But what about you? Who do you say I am?" Matthew 16:15
"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" Matthew 16:26
"Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?" Matthew 18:21
"Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" Matthew 19:16
"What are you looking for?" John 1:38
"What do you want me to do for you?" Matthew 20:32; Mark 10:36, 10:51; Luke 18:41
"Who is my neighbor?" Luke 10:29
"What is truth?" John 18:38

Question after question after question. And sometimes, the question IS the answer. Sometimes the question is such that, to attempt an answer would be feeble and trite.

A couple of days ago I came across the web page of a church that had an obscenely long list of people on their "Staff Bios" page. Like 40 people. Their list included a "Director of Operations", an "Operations Coordinator", an "Operations Service Manager", and an "Operations Weekend Manager".

Now, I don't know what any of those jobs mean, but I promise you this:
If they hire me - I'll certainly ask.

Big Church

Back home.

Plenty of things to discuss - but before that post comes this quick one.

I'm co-teaching with the pastor in big church this Sunday. It's what we little youth ministry peons like to call, "the Show".
(For those of you who don't know, "Youth Ministry" is what churches call child care for kids that aren't cute anymore.)

We're in the middle of a series on seeing the world/life/culture/whatever the way God sees it. Worldview, basically. Which I guess, no matter who you are, translates into: Seeing the world the way we see that God sees it.

Nevertheless our topic for this week is, generally, Church/Faith/Mission. There are three basic questions we are asking about the topic that perhaps you might be able to help me with.

1) What was/is God's intention for the church to begin with.
2) What, if anything, has gone wrong.
3) Is God doing anything to restore #1?

Discuss. And do it in the comments so's I can see it. I'd LOVE to hear all of your thoughts, no matter how big or small.

Day 7 - the vacation begins....

Don't ask me what this picture's all about. It was the coolest one on the first page of images when I googled "Denton, TX" - which is where I find myself tonight.

This morning I was awakened by the sound of sirens outside my thousand-year-old Memphis hotel room. Then about two hours later I was awakened again by the alarm on my cell phone way across the room. Man, I need a vacation.

Oh wait....

So it's day 7. Day 1 of the vacation portion of my vacation. This morning Abby and I got up, checked out of our hotel, and decided we'd head out to Graceland before leaving town. Like you do when you're just stopping overnight in Memphis. I mean, what kind of vacationer goes through Memphis (twice, mind you) and doesn't stop at Graceland - am I right? Well, since we were already on Union Ave. (where Mark Cohn allegedly saw the ghost of Elvis), we decided to stop here on the way out:
That's right - Sun Studios.
The hallowed ground where Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and B.B. King did most of their early recording work.

We were looking for a place to eat breakfast, until we saw that they had a little cafe there at the Studios - so we stopped in for a moment. It turns out that the best we could get for breakfast was a cup of the worlds strongest coffee (no kidding) and a Moon Pie (also, no kidding). So we did. Screw you Weight Watchers!

Our arrival coincided with the start of the next tour, so we ponied up $10 each and joined the queue. The tour featured a small museum with memorabilia from the earliest days of the Studio, including a single-track recording console, and a machine that actually cut the grooves into the master copy of a record. Our tour guide was a pretty cool guy....

(Sidebar: he said to me, "Whoa - for a second there I thought you were my friend Craig Brewer. He made this movie called Hustle and Flow - he used to come in here a lot before he got famous. Anyway, you totally look like him. You could be his stunt double." Although - I'm not sure why a director would need a stunt double - maybe I don't quite understand moviemaking as much as I thought I did. Hustle and Flow, huh? That was a great flick. Oh, here's Craig Brewer doing an impression of me being a complete tool:

Pretty good huh?

/sidebar)

...he even played some clips of early Sun Records recordings on the tour.
Downstairs we stood in the actual recording studio where all those guys made their first recordings. It's also the studio where U2 recorded three tracks for Rattle and Hum, namely When Love Comes To Town, Angel Of Harlem, and Love Rescue Me. Green Day was scheduled to come in and record later today - but really, who gives a chunk about Green Day?

After the tour we had our coffee and Moon Pies (6 points), and spend a wad of dough on merchandise. Coolest merch ever. Then we decided to head over to Graceland.

Graceland sucks. It's $25/person for a self-guided tour. I don't love the King that much. I'm more of a Johnny Cash kind of guy. Unfortunately, his house burned to the ground earlier this year, so one takes what one can get - which for me, turned out to be a couple of pictures from across the street, and a souvenir magnet for the wife. Mission accomplished. I've seen all I need to see of Graceland. Moving on.

That's it, really. We ate some car sandwiches (5 points), got some gas and pointed our noses toward Denton, TX via West Memphis, Little Rock, and Texarkana. We're staying with Jenny and Dylan (thanks guys!) until Sunday and visiting some friends locally while we relax.

We're meeting Shane and Tara at their place tomorrow, where Shane has promised to cook for us from the Weight Watchers cookbook (thought I forgot, didn't ya?). Cory will also be there. Should be a great time!

Thursday we're finally getting our Billy-fix. He's taking us to his movie theater to see 3:10 To Yuma, with perhaps some caffeinated beverages to follow. Bones may be thrown.

Friday, the Bagboy is house-sitting for some lucky schmo with an 80-inch projection screen tv, so it looks like we will wind up there for - well, anything you can think up to do with one of those. Bones may be thrown here, as well.

Saturday is the David Bazan show at Dan's Silverleaf, where Jenny works. That's entertainment!

Sunday finds us having a late lunch with Shane and Tara on our way out of town.

Those are the plans, and they are, of course, subject to change without notice.

Grand Rapids (alternatively, Mars Hill or high water...)

Midnight last night - get home from wedding.

1:30 a.m. - Finally get to bed.

3:42 a.m. - Rise and Shine!

5:15 a.m. - On the road again.

9:30 a.m. - Arrive at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, Michigan an hour and a half early, and literally cuss myself for needing that extra sleep 6 hours ago.

10:30 a.m. - Commence geek-out.

Listen - I'm the first guy to say that church is not a show, or a performance. And at Mars Hill, it's really not. But I can't imagine a time when I was this excited about front row seats at church! In my mind, the front row is where the offering plates are stored, or the place you sit after the offering if you want to make an announcement from the stage. Today - it was within spitting distance of the stage at Mars Hill. So close - we were inside the ring of speakers.

It was pretty much what I expected - simple, stripped down, un-flashy. I think they have the same amateur hand-painted mural of Noah's ark on the wall of their "Preschool Pier" that we have at Copperfield. The building is an old mall that somebody donated, and it appears that there have been very few renovations to the property. "The Shed" is the room you see above, where the worship gathering takes place. It's set up in the round, with instruments and musicians all around the outside of the stage, facing inward. The ceilings are low throughout the room, much lower than it looks in the picture - and the screen-cube-thingy hangs just above the head of whoever's speaking.

I guess I was impressed by the fact that it's really obvious how little they care about making a show of things. Their facility can't really be considered "nice", at all. There isn't a single sign that says Mars Hill Bible Church. In fact, you don't even know what the building is until you walk up to the doors, and it's stenciled on the glass. They are NOT advertising - and they are not concerned with attraction strategies. They break every megachurch rule in the book. It seems clear that the folks at Mars Hill are more interested in doing something real for the world than for Mars Hill. And I think that is what is attractive about them. Sure, the worship and teaching is amazing, insightful, and seriously hip (Rob Bell was sporting a buzz-cut and sideburns; they played Bob Marley's Redemption Song in a seemingly endless loop before the service), but a lot of the people seemed to really be tuned in. Like Rob speaks for them, instead of to them.

The teaching was about how the gospel shouldn't be something that weighs people down with guilt, and responsibility to be good enough. The gospel is "good news" - and the news is that it's not about getting there.... Jesus is already "there" and if you're in him, you are too. It's about the kind of freedom you can only know when you realize that whatever it is you're trying to do has already been done for you.

After the teaching, I had a brief audience with the rabbi, and mentioned to him that we had driven from Houston to have the Mars Hill experience, and he introduced me to his friend Alan, who had just come in from England - which, he made sure to mention, was farther than me. LOL. When I mentioned Houston, he said - "Oh yeah, I'm going to be in... uhhh..."

"Dallas" I said. "We'll see you there." And that was that.

By the way, Rob Bell? That's one seriously tall, and seriously skinny dude.
Also, Rob - the jig is up on the cool glasses. You took them off, and forgot to put them back on to read. Listen - just between you and me? I think they're purely cosmetic. It's cool, though, man, I've got some myself.

Jordan and Vicki, the really nice couple who sat next to us invited us over to their place for lunch, which was really, really nice. Only, I think she read the look on my face as being totally creeped out, instead of the utter joyful shock that I intended it to express, and then tried to backtrack. Either way, they invited us to hang out with them at the church-wide celebration this afternoon at the park down the street. Even gave us their phone number and e-mail address. Unfortunately, the only thing we could conceive of was finally getting some much-needed sleep, so we had to pass on both.

Lastly (and I realize this is such a vanity post, and that absolutely NONE of you will have read this far, BUT), if you have never visited Grand Rapids, I highly recommend it. It was a beautiful day, clear skies, breezy, about 70 degrees, and not at all humid. Around dinnertime, it got as cool as 58 in some places. Abby also remarked about how clean and quiet it feels around here. We think we could actually live here....

... during the summer.

Tomorrow: Chicago, Gary, and Memphis (redux).

Round on both ends.... hi in the middle....

Dateline - Columbus, Ohio.
Not much to brag about today. We drove alot. Through Knoxville, Lexington, and Cincinnati, and ended up in Columbus. We actually made really good time, but then had trouble finding a hotel room that didn't cost a fortune, and didn't look like it rented by the hour, so we checked in around 8:30.
That was kind of a hassle, and hacked me off a little, to be honest.
But I got over it just in time to watch the Saints put on the worst display of football ineptitude in history (so far).

The lesson, then, for today is twofold:
1) Book your hotels online ahead of time using travelpricehotelsorbitzocity.com
and
2) Whenever you blitz the corner - you cannot let Marvin Harrison or Reggie Wayne behind your defense! I mean - that's a no-brainer, man!

Until tomorrow, friends - shalom.

Dateline- Nashville

Ahhh - Nashville. Not the stunning Mississippi-river-side skyline of Memphis, but it does have the Batman building, so I'll call it a tie.

We left about 8 a.m. this morning, and arrived here at about 10:30 p.m.
On the way here we stopped a couple of times for my new favorite delicacy - car sandwiches. Mmmmmm. Very soon, I'm certain the weight will begin just falling off.

We also drove by the campus of ETBU to check out new developments at the ol' alma mater. We didn't actually get out of the car, but we did notice lots of nice, new, graven images for donors to take credit for.

Remember the little road-gems I promised you? Try this one on for size:
We stop at a public rest area right outside Little Rock, Arkansas, and what do we encounter there?
Idaho Senator Larry Craig.
No, not really.
According to Abby, there was - in the women's restroom - a rather large black woman having a grumpy in one of the stalls. That wouldn't be so weird, except that she was singing, loudly, "Que sera, sera..."

Only in America.

A new twist on the Mars Hill debacle:
Turns out the itinerary for Saturday's wedding includes the wedding from 2-3, after that - photos; after that - a trip off-site (???) for some MORE photos; and finally a reception until 11 p.m. that night. So our options are:
a) Skip Grand Rapids, Mars Hill, Rob Bell, and the first week of the great new series they're doing.
b) Leave after the reception and arrive in Grand Rapids around 6 a.m. (all after having been wedding-ing all day).
c) Stay through the reception, spend the night, leave the next morning around 4 a.m. to arrive in Grand Rapids in time for the 11 a.m. Mars Hill Service.

So - you make the call.

I'm freakin' tired! Headed out at 8 again tomorrow. Destination: Knoxville, Cincinnatti, Colombus.

Shalom.

Thelma and Lewis

Well, the butt crack of dawn tomorrow finds Abby and I on the road for the next 12 days. Vagabonds, we are. Roamers. Wanderers. Strangers in a strange land. We're Jack and Jill Kerouac. Hope and Crosby. The Griswolds. Mickey and Mallory Knox. Bonnie and Clyde. We're Thelma and Louise, and Lewis and Clark. We're Thelma and Lewis. We hope to make it as far as Memphis, and maybe Nashville tomorrow night. Ambitious, I know, but we are spoiling for it.

We are armed with new CD's that we checked out from the library for FREE! (The library! Now THERE'S an idea I hope will catch on!). We've got Freakonomics the Audiobook to listen to, and we've got Shane's copy of the Velvet Elvis Audiobook, as well. We've got a cooler full of well-planned, portioned out healthy snacks (did I mention the Weight Watchers thing we're doing? Man. Whole other post....), deli turkey, and PB&J. We've got a Nintendo DS, an old-school Game Boy, an Atari Lynx, and a Sega Game gear. The iPod is fully stocked. We've got an empty credit card and a full tank of gas.

This will either be the all-time best experience for an 8 1/2 month married couple - or the worst idea since Flavor of Love 3. Stay tuned right here to find out! I mean, obviously I'll be blogging from the road, and keeping you up to date with all the excitement, like - "Oh, honey! Is that a Hawaii license plate? How DO they get over here?" - and other gems.

And if you're wondering whatever happened with that whole Mars Hill debacle - it looks like we're going to leave from Cleveland right after the wedding reception on Saturday night (thank you, sweetheart!) and boogie on over to Grand Rapids for a Sunday MORNING service. Take THAT Mars Hill Bible Church. You better be ready for J.T. - because I'm bringin' the tired, and I'm bringin' it strong. Word.

For those of you in the greater Dallas/Ft. Worth/Denton area - gird up thy loins, for the time of your visitation is surely at hand.

Amen, and amen.

Thwarted!

So, I e-mailed the nice folks at Mars Hill to let 'em know I was coming, and that they should get ready. I let them know that I'd be attending the 6p.m. service on September 6th. I also asked if it'd be possible to get a tour of the building, and maybe a meeting with a Youth Pastor, to pick his brain about things. I even told them I was willing to stick around until Monday morning.

So today I got a response to my e-mail. I turns out that Mars Hill isn't having a service at 6p.m. on Sunday, September 6. They have canceled it in favor of a church-wide picnic at a park somewhere. So J.T.'s plans have been thwarted, thus far. What a shame. I had been looking forward to it for so long.

Power Shopper!

I spent approximately 2 hours today on the phone with various customer servicers at Dell. Some of them actually spoke English, and I think one of them was flirting with me. I was, of course, in no mood for that sort of nonsense by then. The happy ending is that very shortly, I may finally have a new battery and AC Adapter for this gently used 3-year-old computer. Of course, it will probably arrive in the mail during my week-and-a-half long road trip... which isn't such a happy ending after all, I guess.

This just in: I'm working on a redesign for the site! Watch this space!

Write SOMETHING every day....

I spent the whole day today in meetings. We had our weekly staff meeting from 7:30 to 9 this morning, and then spent the rest of the day in a planning meeting for our upcoming sermon series on Worldview. Looks like I'm team-teaching on Church/Faith/Mission with the pastor one week, and solo teaching on Music/The Arts several weeks later. I always get a little excited about teaching in "Big Church", but this series has me a little more excited than others. It seems more... lofty. It's the kind of thing that's going to make it difficult for us to go back to teaching about having a better marriage, raising better kids, or managing your finances, with a straight face.

In other news, Abby and I are leaving on our National Lampoon's Summer Vacation next week - probably Wednesday the 5th. We're taking the scenic route up to Cleveland, Ohio for a wedding, stopping several times along the way. From there we'll head over to Grand Rapids, Michigan to attend a service at Mars Hill Bible Church. And then we'll head to Dallas to visit with friends for the remainder of our time. Total vacation length - approx. 12 days! Total time driving - approx. 11 days! Okay, not really. But it is a heck of a long way. Let's hope our little car can take it.

I'm seeing more of the world in the last year than I have in my entire life. It's kind of cool. I had actually thought that marriage would slow me down. I hereby repent of that nonsense.

Is it raining where you are?

I suck at blogging.

The sad part is...
I'm still better than a lot of blogs I read.
So there.

Anyway - I've always got crap to say, and always forget what it is when I sit down to do this.
Write SOMETHING every day. Write something every day. No matter how banal. That's what I tell my other friends who suck at this, anyway.

But something happened to me recently that made my top 5 life experiences of all-time, so come on - I couldn't let it slip by without a word.

Two Sundays ago, I left for Dallas to meet Shane and Cory for a guys retreat to the mountains of Colorado. By Monday afternoon we were in Parker, just outside of Denver, and by Tuesday afternoon we were at our little cabin beside the river in the mountains. We were joined by a friend of Cory's (now a friend of mine) named Shawn, and a spry 65-year-old named Wes. Wes does a lot of mentoring for guys like me, some counseling, and some consulting for great organizations like Compassion International. He spent the week encouraging, sharpening, and blessing us in a multitude of ways. On Wednesday we spent the entire day in Rocky Mountain National Park marveling and overlooks and complaining that our cameras were way too small. The end of the day found us at Wes's "sacred space" on Sprague Lake - a place which holds special significance in his own story, and now ours as well.

That night, he led us in an unforgettable communion using Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos and 12-year-old MacAllen Scotch. Strange, yes, and stranger for me because, teetotaler that I am - I reserve 100% of my alcohol consumption for communion. Afterwards, he anointed our foreheads with oil in the shape of a cross, and gave us this charge: "Go live the gospel."

Those were pretty much his last words to us. He left that night, and Shawn left shortly after. Shane, Cory and I spent the entire next day sleeping in, playing Bocce and horseshoes, grilling steaks and playing cards. Shane packed his new pipe for the very first time ever, Cory had a cigar, and I had many Sunflower Seeds. Sooooo many Sunflower Seeds.

Any summary of this trip must include three things: The unfathomable beauty in every corner of that part of the world, the unparalleled significance of 5 men seeking God and deep ecclesiology, and absolute fact that the altitude very nearly killed me. I felt terrible most of the week. On the day we went into Rocky Mountain National Park, I even resorted to taking hits off of Shane's inhaler. It didn't help. I will admit, however, that I have never felt so good feeling so bad. What I mean is, in surroundings like that, it's hard to feel bad about feeling poorly. I was determined to drink in every minute of it, and I think I did.

Yesterday I narrowed down my vast library of pictures to the top 100 MB that Flickr would allow me to upload. Check it out here. It pretty much excludes any actual pictures of me, because I looked and felt ridiculous. But the pictures it does include are far better than anything you'd find me in. Enjoy. I know most of them look like postcards - but they are, nevertheless, postcards that I was standing in at the time. Which is pretty rad.

Anyway - this is day one of the new "write SOMETHING every day" era. Oh - also the new "I figured a MUCH easier way of getting pictures off my camera, so I'll actually be using it now" era. Shalom!

The Man Who Laughs

For those of you who haven't been on the internet this week, and have only just now gotten on for the sole purpose of checking for updates at Go Brain, Go, I present to you -
Heath Ledger as The Joker.















My impression?
Mmmmmm.... geeky goodness.
I love the cut smile, and the insane look of it.
I can't wait to see more.
Here's hoping that this Joker will be less of a funnyman, and more of a homocidal psychotic sociopath.
*fingers crossed*

A couple of links for those of you descending into Batman sequal madness, as I am:
Batman-on-film (news and scoops)
The Dark Knight (Official site)
I Believe In Harvey Dent (Gotham City District Attorney "campaign" page)

Up until this weekend, the film was using a little viral marketing to tease the big reveal of the Joker image you saw above.
Several businesses found themselves littered with playing cards that looked like this:
















They have "I believe in Harvey Dent Too" written on them.
Until today, you could visit the website www.ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com and see a version of the "campaign" site that looked like it had been hacked and defaced by the Joker. At the bottom of the page you could enter your e-mail address, and it would send you an e-mail with X and Y coordinates in it, and a link back to the page. When you entered the coordinates on the page, it identified that ONE PIXEL, and revealed what was behind it. Thousands of e-mails later, the picture underneath was revealed to be our first look at Heath Ledger as the Joker.

Genius.


**EDITED TO ADD:**
I went back to www.ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com a minute ago.
Even though the page content appears to be removed, and the page says in red letters "Page Not Found" - if highlight over the entire page, it reads "HahaHahAHAHaha" all over it. VERY disturbing.

Here's what I think...

Also - he's going to live, and Charlie will die in the next episode.
What say ye?

My new life motto

www.toothpastefordinner.com

Parental Discretion Advised

Please, oh please, click to enlarge.

My Humps... if by, "my" you mean "Alanis"

There are no words.