Thwarted!

So, I e-mailed the nice folks at Mars Hill to let 'em know I was coming, and that they should get ready. I let them know that I'd be attending the 6p.m. service on September 6th. I also asked if it'd be possible to get a tour of the building, and maybe a meeting with a Youth Pastor, to pick his brain about things. I even told them I was willing to stick around until Monday morning.

So today I got a response to my e-mail. I turns out that Mars Hill isn't having a service at 6p.m. on Sunday, September 6. They have canceled it in favor of a church-wide picnic at a park somewhere. So J.T.'s plans have been thwarted, thus far. What a shame. I had been looking forward to it for so long.

Power Shopper!

I spent approximately 2 hours today on the phone with various customer servicers at Dell. Some of them actually spoke English, and I think one of them was flirting with me. I was, of course, in no mood for that sort of nonsense by then. The happy ending is that very shortly, I may finally have a new battery and AC Adapter for this gently used 3-year-old computer. Of course, it will probably arrive in the mail during my week-and-a-half long road trip... which isn't such a happy ending after all, I guess.

This just in: I'm working on a redesign for the site! Watch this space!

Write SOMETHING every day....

I spent the whole day today in meetings. We had our weekly staff meeting from 7:30 to 9 this morning, and then spent the rest of the day in a planning meeting for our upcoming sermon series on Worldview. Looks like I'm team-teaching on Church/Faith/Mission with the pastor one week, and solo teaching on Music/The Arts several weeks later. I always get a little excited about teaching in "Big Church", but this series has me a little more excited than others. It seems more... lofty. It's the kind of thing that's going to make it difficult for us to go back to teaching about having a better marriage, raising better kids, or managing your finances, with a straight face.

In other news, Abby and I are leaving on our National Lampoon's Summer Vacation next week - probably Wednesday the 5th. We're taking the scenic route up to Cleveland, Ohio for a wedding, stopping several times along the way. From there we'll head over to Grand Rapids, Michigan to attend a service at Mars Hill Bible Church. And then we'll head to Dallas to visit with friends for the remainder of our time. Total vacation length - approx. 12 days! Total time driving - approx. 11 days! Okay, not really. But it is a heck of a long way. Let's hope our little car can take it.

I'm seeing more of the world in the last year than I have in my entire life. It's kind of cool. I had actually thought that marriage would slow me down. I hereby repent of that nonsense.

Is it raining where you are?

I suck at blogging.

The sad part is...
I'm still better than a lot of blogs I read.
So there.

Anyway - I've always got crap to say, and always forget what it is when I sit down to do this.
Write SOMETHING every day. Write something every day. No matter how banal. That's what I tell my other friends who suck at this, anyway.

But something happened to me recently that made my top 5 life experiences of all-time, so come on - I couldn't let it slip by without a word.

Two Sundays ago, I left for Dallas to meet Shane and Cory for a guys retreat to the mountains of Colorado. By Monday afternoon we were in Parker, just outside of Denver, and by Tuesday afternoon we were at our little cabin beside the river in the mountains. We were joined by a friend of Cory's (now a friend of mine) named Shawn, and a spry 65-year-old named Wes. Wes does a lot of mentoring for guys like me, some counseling, and some consulting for great organizations like Compassion International. He spent the week encouraging, sharpening, and blessing us in a multitude of ways. On Wednesday we spent the entire day in Rocky Mountain National Park marveling and overlooks and complaining that our cameras were way too small. The end of the day found us at Wes's "sacred space" on Sprague Lake - a place which holds special significance in his own story, and now ours as well.

That night, he led us in an unforgettable communion using Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos and 12-year-old MacAllen Scotch. Strange, yes, and stranger for me because, teetotaler that I am - I reserve 100% of my alcohol consumption for communion. Afterwards, he anointed our foreheads with oil in the shape of a cross, and gave us this charge: "Go live the gospel."

Those were pretty much his last words to us. He left that night, and Shawn left shortly after. Shane, Cory and I spent the entire next day sleeping in, playing Bocce and horseshoes, grilling steaks and playing cards. Shane packed his new pipe for the very first time ever, Cory had a cigar, and I had many Sunflower Seeds. Sooooo many Sunflower Seeds.

Any summary of this trip must include three things: The unfathomable beauty in every corner of that part of the world, the unparalleled significance of 5 men seeking God and deep ecclesiology, and absolute fact that the altitude very nearly killed me. I felt terrible most of the week. On the day we went into Rocky Mountain National Park, I even resorted to taking hits off of Shane's inhaler. It didn't help. I will admit, however, that I have never felt so good feeling so bad. What I mean is, in surroundings like that, it's hard to feel bad about feeling poorly. I was determined to drink in every minute of it, and I think I did.

Yesterday I narrowed down my vast library of pictures to the top 100 MB that Flickr would allow me to upload. Check it out here. It pretty much excludes any actual pictures of me, because I looked and felt ridiculous. But the pictures it does include are far better than anything you'd find me in. Enjoy. I know most of them look like postcards - but they are, nevertheless, postcards that I was standing in at the time. Which is pretty rad.

Anyway - this is day one of the new "write SOMETHING every day" era. Oh - also the new "I figured a MUCH easier way of getting pictures off my camera, so I'll actually be using it now" era. Shalom!

The Man Who Laughs

For those of you who haven't been on the internet this week, and have only just now gotten on for the sole purpose of checking for updates at Go Brain, Go, I present to you -
Heath Ledger as The Joker.















My impression?
Mmmmmm.... geeky goodness.
I love the cut smile, and the insane look of it.
I can't wait to see more.
Here's hoping that this Joker will be less of a funnyman, and more of a homocidal psychotic sociopath.
*fingers crossed*

A couple of links for those of you descending into Batman sequal madness, as I am:
Batman-on-film (news and scoops)
The Dark Knight (Official site)
I Believe In Harvey Dent (Gotham City District Attorney "campaign" page)

Up until this weekend, the film was using a little viral marketing to tease the big reveal of the Joker image you saw above.
Several businesses found themselves littered with playing cards that looked like this:
















They have "I believe in Harvey Dent Too" written on them.
Until today, you could visit the website www.ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com and see a version of the "campaign" site that looked like it had been hacked and defaced by the Joker. At the bottom of the page you could enter your e-mail address, and it would send you an e-mail with X and Y coordinates in it, and a link back to the page. When you entered the coordinates on the page, it identified that ONE PIXEL, and revealed what was behind it. Thousands of e-mails later, the picture underneath was revealed to be our first look at Heath Ledger as the Joker.

Genius.


**EDITED TO ADD:**
I went back to www.ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com a minute ago.
Even though the page content appears to be removed, and the page says in red letters "Page Not Found" - if highlight over the entire page, it reads "HahaHahAHAHaha" all over it. VERY disturbing.

Here's what I think...

Also - he's going to live, and Charlie will die in the next episode.
What say ye?

My new life motto

www.toothpastefordinner.com

Parental Discretion Advised

Please, oh please, click to enlarge.

My Humps... if by, "my" you mean "Alanis"

There are no words.

Prince Caspian

Great quote from C.S. Lewis' Prince Caspian that I was reminded of while reading ysmarko's blog.

“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”

“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.

“Not because you are?”

“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”

Do you have a problem with that?

Check out this video for the song Sweep The Leg by No More Kings. It is written and directed by William Zabka, who played Johnny in the Karate Kid. He managed to reassemble most of the Kobra Kai, and even wrangled an appearance by the Karate Kid himself - Ralph Macchio, who still looks like he's about16 years old. Keep your eyes open for the homage to Raising Arizona, and for Mr. Belding. I've never heard of this band before, but this song is pretty sweet.

Geek Mythology

Back in 1983, my parents took me to see a movie in a theater for the first time. And I vividly remember waiting in a long line for tickets. Paying at the box office. Sitting in the theater eating popcorn. Staying awake for the whole movie. And walking through the parking lot when it was over begging to turn around and see it again right away.

I don't recall ever feeling that way about a movie again - until last night.
The first movie was Return of the Jedi. The second was 300.

I wanted it to never end! And all day long I've been going over my schedule for the week in my head - trying to figure out how soon it is before I can go see it again!

It was epic. It was intentionally anachronistic. It was shot entirely on green/blue screen. It was bloody. It was the most beautiful film I've ever seen. It was perfectly cast. It's my new favorite movie ever. Oh - and it was in IMAX.

I can't wait to run out and get the Frank Miller graphic novel that inspired this film.
That's the way to do it, you know. Since the book is always better than the movie - see the movie first, and if you love it, you know you'll love the book.

Yes, I am aware that I'm a HUGE nerd.

Blue Like Fieldy

"Eagle-eye" Thomas. That's what they used to call me. You know - because I could see stuff. Okay, okay.... nobody ever called me that. BUT THEY SHOULD! This weekend, I guess there was some kind of Miami Ink marathon on, and I got sucked into it. I'm not embarrassed, it's a good show. You should check it out. On one of the episodes, the guys joined the band Korn on the Family Values Tour. A couple of the band members and security guys wanted tattoos, so they took the show on the road. One of the tattoo-ees was Fieldy, bass player for Korn. When the Miami Ink tattoo artist walked onto Fieldy's trailer, there was, conveniently, already a cameraman in there. Fieldy was sitting on the couch reading a book. What book? - you might ask yourself. What sort of book would the bass player for Korn be reading in his trailer. Well, having asked myself the same question, I paid close attention, trying to catch a glimpse.

Blue Like Jazz.

Fieldy was reading Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller's magnum opus (so far).

(Sidebar here, to mention that if you haven't read Blue Like Jazz yourself - you should really be feeling very badly right about now. Fieldy from Korn is way ahead of you in this game.)

Here's the episode on YouTube, which I will not embed because the Department of Justice has put the fear of God in me.

Here's a screencap of the scene where you can see the back cover of the book he's holding.
And here's a scan of the back cover of my (autographed! Thanks Shelly!) copy of Blue Like Jazz.

I meant to post this months ago...

J.T. - Don. Don - J.T. He said he wished he could grow a beard.
We all do, Don. We all do.

Heartbeats

Have you seen this video by Sigur Ros? Amazing. I saw it just about a week ago, and was blown away.

I don't watch a ton of videos, but I'm working on developing a 4 or 5 week teaching series for the youth using videos like this one. So far I'm also considering UNKLE's Rabbit in Your Headlights, and maybe REM's Everybody Hurts (old school). I'm still looking for a couple more videos if anybody's got any ideas. Bill gave me a couple of great ones, and Abby.... well, she thinks it's a pretty dumb idea. They need to be kind of like short films, something striking to the eye, or with a big payoff at the end. I'm not concerned that they be squeaky clean, but I'd prefer if they didn't have nudity or any language that you can't hear on daytime television.

Click here to check out one of my favorites, so far, that Bill suggested. You may recognize it.

Are you there, Margaret? It's me, God...

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Margaret from church left a bag for me at the Guest Services desk. I looked inside, and lo and behold, it contained all the West Wing DVD's a guy could ask for. To keep! For FREE!! She had bought them on eBay, and then somebody gave them to her as a gift, so she gave them all to me. Actually, it was seasons 1-5, and since I have 6 and 7 on my hard-drive, I can now watch any episode of TWW any time I want. I am now hip-deep in Season 2, and loving it. Margaret was such a blessing to me that I wanted to sing her praises here in this public forum. Madge - God used you to bless me - and I thank you!

ENVY ME!

Fat Tuesday!

Happy Mardi Gras! Or, if you prefer - Martes Gordo! I hope you are doing well on this festive occasion, and filling yourselves to the brim with all sorts of delicious and sinful things that you will hereby abstain from for the next 40-some-odd days known as Lent. By the way, did you know that "carnival", as Mardi Gras is sometimes called, is a Latin word, that actually translates - "farewell to the flesh"? Today is the day we overdo it, to make up for the next several weeks of tragically(yet nobly, and very spiritually) under-doing it. I brought a beautiful King Cake to the office today, complete with plastic baby nestled within. I will most likely return home with 7/8ths of said cake. Baby included. Yeah- Texas sucks, whaddyagonnado?

I've already given up soft drinks of every kind for the entire year 2007 (yes, it's going very well, actually - thank you for asking), but for the lenten season, I have decided to add coffee to my fast. The wife said that sounds too easy, but I give it 4 or 5 days without coffee before she starts to sing a different tune. She, on the other hand, is giving up granulated sugar, and has informed me that for the next 40something days I'm to make my sweet tea with Splenda(tm). To which I, quite naturally, and as you would expect replied...... "um... yes, dear" ...and then mumbled something under my breath about that not really being sweet tea, and communism, or somesuch whateverness.

Are you giving anything up? And don't say, "Lent" or "Catholicism", because I'm the only one that makes stupid jokes like that around here, got it?


So, I bet you're wondering what would bring me out of hiding, after a more than 2-month-long hiatus. Well, here it is:
Sex God. The new book by Rob Bell (referred to by my wife as "your boyfriend"). The long-anticipated (by me) follow-up to 2005's Velvet Elvis. If you haven't read either of these books, then your life will never be considered complete. I hate to be the one who has to tell you that.

I have an insider at the Grapevine bookstore, who sent me a message as soon as it went on sale. I picked it up yesterday, and it took me about 2 1/2 hours last night to finish it. What a great feeling. To actually finish a book, instead of taking 3 months, and reading a chapter every time I go to the bathroom. Speaking of that....
I finally finished this book today, too. What can I say, I was on a roll. If you're interested in a fresh, uncomplicated take on an often misunderstood set of teachings, and something that's a little different from your typical Christian Living section fare - I recommend Matthew Paul Turner's Beatitude. MPT is the former editor of CCM Magazine, but don't let that scare you away. He was fired from that job, anyway - and probably for a good reason.


Lastly - I realize that there have been very few..... okay ZERO mentions of my recent nuptials on this blog. In fact, if you think about it, you might notice that I very rarely speak about the ladies at all on here unless they are of the celebrity variety. And everybody knows that celebrities aren't real anyways. But, I will confirm that I did get married on December 23rd, 2006, and that yes - she is hopelessly out of my league, and that all future posts will probably feature sickeningly frequent mentions of her, and no small amount of gushing. Those of you who are into that kind of thing can check out pictures of the wedding event HERE.

In the past 2 months I've also bought a car, and leased a house, and taken a 7 day cruise to Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel. Most significantly - I've grown the beard back. Yes, it looks great, thank you.

I am such a slacker...

A big wet kiss on the mouth (or substitute prize of comparable value) to the first person (besides Bill) who can name this song.

I care very little for politics.

Yesterday Austin and I went to UBA (Union Baptist Association) headquarters for a dialogue on the Emerging Church. It was reasonably well-attended by some key leaders in the Houston area, as well as some prominent and influential Emerging Church personalities. Doug Pagitt, Chris Seay, and Debbie Jones (wife of Andrew "Tallskinnykiwi" Jones) were in attendace, as well as a group of guys from a ministry in Germany called Kubik. All in all, I'd say there were about 30 people there.

The boys from Kubik are evidently masters of audiovisual technology, and showed us a short flash presentation they had put together, which included a series of question that they and the folks involved in their ministry are asking. Questions such as (I'm paraphrasing here), "If God is inclusive, why are we so exclusive?", "Why do we feel like we can't be honest about our failures?", "Why are we so inward-focused?", and some others that were so profound that they have escaped my memory. We then spent the next 10 minutes in small groups of 5 or 6 reflecting on our impressions of those questions, and which ones resonated with us the most.

Next, we spent about an hour in a circle, just questioning and answering. A couple of questions that came up:

"Where are all the women in this movement?"

"Is the Emerging Church really just a phenomenon among affluent white people, or is it crossing racial and cultural lines as well?"

Ken Shuman, the local guy who kind of put this gathering together, asked
"What does an Emerging Church look like?"
Which, of course, is the question you just CAN'T ask. Not because we don't want to answer it, but because it can't be answered, which is kind of the whole point. Churches will reflect the communities and relationships that they are generated out of, and not some predetermined formula. "Emerging" is not a style, or a model. The sooner people figure out that "Emerging Church" does not mean candles, soft music, gotees, Apple computers, and flash videos, and that you cannot just drop these things into your old service and make it postmodern, the sooner they will get their arms around what "emerging" really means.

Out of this conversation came a remark by Doug Pagitt that the Emerging Church is not merely a question of ecclesiology, but a question of theology, which prompted me to ask,
"Theologically, then - is there anything that is 'off the table', not open for discussion?"
It's a question that Tony Jones had posed at the Late Night Theology Discussion at NYWC.
One of the responses to this question came from a guy who talked like he was really important, but I have no idea who he is. He said, "If you're asking if there's anything theologically that is off the table, then I would say - the table. If you're trying to develop some kind of 'Emergent Orthodoxy', then I'm not interested."

Brilliant. For more questions like this, check out this blog post by Tony Jones.

After this discussion was some more time just to talk and network a little bit. I had a minute or two to talk to Doug Pagitt, who made a remark in our private conversation that didn't go over very well with Austin. Doug said, basically, that American Christianity, which he would call "Augustinian Christianity", in the form of Catholicism and Anglicanism had failed. I understood this to mean that they had ultimately failed in the end, and are failing today - not that they had been a failure all along.

I then posed the question I wish I could have asked 2 years ago.
"What's a guy to do when the language and questions of the emerging church are capturing his heart, and interest, but the church where he serves, that he loves dearly and is invested in keeps butting up against those things? Can he stay there, and be a change agent? Or does he have to leave and start something new?"

Doug said that that guy could stay in his current position as a change agent as long as he relinquished his salary. If he wants to continue to get paid by that church, he cannot stay there and try to push an agenda that is contrary to the vision and values of the existing church. "Pirates" is the exact word he used for them. The fact is that most guys who ask that question, when they get another job, don't give a rip about the church they were in. So if you really feel like you need to be a change agent for the church you're in - you gotta give up your salary, and you have to stay just as committed as if you were still receiving it... which I would guess is not all that likely.

Also, I asked the guys from Kubik if they had a website. One of them said - "Don't bother, it's all German." The other said, "We did have one, but we took it down because we were getting overrun with a bunch of Christians."

In other news - I've added a wedding countdown to the sidebar over there. I will now begin accepting your congratulations. And your gifts.
The couple is registered at Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Amazon.com

I must admit...

... I had never listened to the David Crowder Band. I pretended to. I mean, I knew some of Crowder's songs, because, let's face it, every church and youth group in the country is singing them. To be perfectly honest, I can't stand "praise and worship" music, except in the context of an actual worship service. I can't imagine buying a cd of that kind of music, and I certainly can't see myself popping it into the CD player while I drive, or study, or clean the house.

This is the point where you're thinking, "What line of work are you in, again?"
Yeah, I know.

Today was the first full day of the National Youth Worker Convention in Austin, TX. There were 2 General Sessions today, and the David Crowder Band led worship both times. I was blown away. I think the David Crowder Band might be my new favorite. Not only is Crowder hilarious (he sounds nothing like I would have imagined. And what's up with that drawl - is that real?), he was totally cracking jokes during the worship set, and it wasn't a distraction because the music and lyrics were strong enough to speak for themselves. It wasn't like "praise and worship" music, at all. It was rock opera, heavy metal, bluegrass, key-tar, turntable, electric violin, screaming and whistling. Amazing. This may call for some sort of intervention. Somebody stop me before I spend 100 bucks on all their CD's.

On another note, I met the editor of HM Magazine (as seen in my left hand column links!), formerly known as Heaven's Metal, a magazine I have been reading since I was but a wee lad. They have a booth here. I am such a geek.

300

IF YOU FAIL TO CLICK HERE,
YOU ARE SETTLING FOR A MEDIOCRE LIFE.

Seriously -
no movie will rock your face off like this movie appears able to do.

Concerning MySpace

Articles at churchmarketingsucks.com and CNNMoney.com are citing some fascinating statistics about the users of MySpace. According to comScore,

Some 87% of users today are 18 or older; 52% are 35 or older...

These numbers do not appear to just be taken from the ages given when people register, either, but independent offline research by the company.

If this is true, it better not get out. Nothing will make MySpace less cool than finding out it's populated by oldies. Especially those of us who claim to secretly hate it, but nevertheless have elaborate pimped out profiles, even though we are "just trying it out" (I'm looking at you, J.T.'s friend list).

Does anybody buy these statistics?

Sooo....

... I got engaged today. To Abby.
I know - I'm just as surprised as you are.

Edited to add:
Check out her take here.
Also,
"J.T.! I knew you were likely to take a wife!" - Shane Mullin

Prodigy

Her name's Maddie. She's like 12 years old, and 4 foot 8.
And yes, she drums for my youth group.

ICE COLD!

What's cooler than being cool? This cover song.
(Mat Weddle of the band Obadiah Parker)

West-Coast Wing

I found just what I've been looking for to fill the West Wing-shaped hole in my heart.

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip

Yes, despite its long, awkward title, and characters based so obviously on its creators - I have decided, after only one episode, to marry myself to this show for life.

Its life, not mine.

Already, one of the chief complaints about the show is that it's too good to be true, and destined for cancellation. Either a key player is going to leave, or the network will crumble under the weight of a dozen most assuredly high salaries. Not to mention the fact that Aaron Sorkin - the genius writer that makes this show so tasty - isn't exactly known for turning scripts in on time.

I wouldn't be a supernerd if I hadn't already watched it again on the DVR, and looked at all the online feedback I could find, now would I? Stay tuned for the funniest thing I've heard about this show so far.

The drama in the show stems from Judd Hirsch's character, the director of an SNL-type show, who has had it with television in general, and interrupts the live broadcast of the show to go on a tirade about how lame, debased, and neutered television has become. The obvious similarities to the film Network are acknowleged, and even riffed on a little bit. Long story short - Hirsch's character is mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it anymore. He says to the camera that your remote control is like a crack pipe, and demands that everyone watching change the channel, or just plain turn their television off.

It's in dealing with the fallout from this that the show gets going. Network executives freak out, fire Judd Hirsch, and start talking about the aftermath. Lawsuits, sponsors, standards and practices, etc. They are worried about all the people that will be upset with what Hirsch's character said. Finally, Amanda Peet's character laughs at them all, and suggests that what they should really be concerned about is how true his words actually were. That's what the real story would be.

What I think is hilarious is that it is now 12:00 a.m. Central time - only 2 hours since the end of the actual show - and already Christians are complaining that the show is anti-them. They are complaining that one character's remarks about Pat Robertson and The 700 Club were offensive, and that Sarah Paulson's character (a Christian, incidentally) is misrepresentative of Joe Disciple. Typical, they say, of Hollywood.

Could life imitate art any more clearly? As Christians, what we ought to be worried about is not that Hollywood is saying negative things about us. What we ought to be most worried about is the fact that what they are saying is so sadly true.

Bootleg...

It really is quite amazing (and frightening at the same time) what you can find on eBay if you just look hard enough. I just KNEW that there was one of these out there somewhere. Of course, those were the days before MP3's. Bonus tracks include Gothic Mad Libs, a poem by Melchizidek, the Plague Giver, and one song by lesser artists, No Girls Allowed.

And yes- I've checked iTunes. No way NOSFERATU-tu will ever be sold there. Mainly because I'll never sell my share of the rights. No way. Forget it.

Fortunately - I have the only known VIDEO of this concert in existence, and I'm pretty sure there's part of an episode of Seinfeld over some of it.

God is too big for my box...

Crisis of faith? Surely not.

Big youth event tomorrow night. Bring 'em in with lots of fun stuff, food, and the opportunity to win big expensive prizes - and while you have 'em, throw some Jesus at 'em. See what sticks. I know - it's the seedy underbelly of youth ministry. The bait and switch.

Somehow I got elected to give "the talk".

So now it's the night before, and I'm not sure that I should do it.... can do it. What I mean is, I don't think I can be spiritually and intellectually honest with myself and with God - and say the things that people usually say in these kind of talks.

I'm not really interested in convincing people to attend a church.

I'm not really interested in getting people to subscribe to a particular religion.

I'm not really interested in getting people to give their intellectual assent to a set of beliefs, or a well-formed spiritual argument.

I don't think I want to call people to make a decision to ask Jesus "into their heart" to become their "personal lord and savior".

Something in me knows that the point of life is bigger than that - that God is too big for that box. That God is bigger than morality, bigger than church, bigger than Christianity, and certainly bigger than the other religions. Something in me understands that, fundamentally, God is reality. God is the over-arching fabric and construction of the universe. God is truth. God is love. God is one. God is the way things should be, were, and will be again. God is not a Christian - God is God. Christians do not own God. We don't even share Him with the other religions. So how can we presume to give him away?

I'm rambling on here, but I kind of feel like giving people an "invitation to receive Christ" would be a shallow, mediocre verson of what I should be doing. Kind of like a sales pitch, and my job, or my reputation, or our youth ministry depends on how many people I can close the deal with tomorrow night. So the pitch itself has to be great (which pretty much goes against everything I believe about the way people are "saved", and God's role in the process)

But how do you invite people into a relationship with the way things should be? Into a relationship with reality? How do you invite people into a relationship with the most unimaginably huge thing in all of existence, by getting them involved with a little bitty thing like church. How can I boil God down to a little formula, and a 15 minute talk, when it's taken thousands of years, and volume upon volume to get us to what we know about him today - which is still very little.

I guess I could try and hand this thing off to somebody who gives these church talks all the time - but my conscience would still hurt me because I bet they would probably say all the things I believe it would be dishonest of me to say.

I guess what it boils down to is this:
I know what I should say - and would love to say - and what I believe God is longing for people to hear.
And I know what a good youth minister at a local church is supposed to say.
And they seem so far apart.
And that saddens me very much, because I think that God is too big for my box.

Can anybody hear me?
Does anybody have a clue what the heck I'm talking about?
Bueller . . . . . Bueller . . . . .

On Crack...

... Daddy, that is. Crack Daddy. We went to ETBU together. Actually, they used to call him Crackbaby, for obvious reasons. But his knack for luring beautiful women, and the fact that he's now married and the father to several delightful (I'm sure) children, led to my referring to him as Crack Daddy. Anyway, Crack always had a knack for getting songs stuck in my head. Every day in the cafeteria he would be singing some off-the-wall tune that inevitably haunt me for the rest of the day. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

Good Morning, Starshine comes to mind.

Since I have a gift for remembering lyrics, I am always getting crap stuck in my head.

Not long ago, Abby recounted a story to me that I had forgotten.
Back when we were in college, we were discussing this very predicament. Having a song stuck in your head, I mean. She says I told her I thought that having a song stuck in your head was one of the ways God speaks to us when he wants to tell us, or remind us of, something.

"Well, what's he telling you today?" she asked.

"Don't Fear The Reaper" I said.

"Good word." she replied.

So true.
Anyways - I told you that story to tell you this:
Evidently, today's song/word from God is:

"Might as well jump. Go ahead and ju-ump."

Also a good word.

Shalom.

Wikiality

I love the ridiculous power of media. I also love the ridiculosity and truthiness of Stephen Colbert. The Colbert Report just might be my new favorite show. Since I was actually watching during this bit - I thought it was hilarious that relevantmagazine.com had this as one of their "slices" today:

After a segment on his show poking fun at the user-updated online reference database Wikipedia, Stephen Colbert got blocked from the site. On the air, the satirical talk show host logged into the site and changed random facts within articles and then challenged his viewers to do the same. Chaos ensued, and it all ended with Colbert getting banned ...8/3/06 | 10:54 AM

Currently Listening Mockingbird By Derek Webb Track #2 A New Law

"Our Church Is Smaller!"

I LOVE Relevant Magazine. Who cares about CNN or FOXnews - I get my current events from the "slices" at relevantmagazine.com. I also love the way they seem to completely agree with me theologically and culturally. Way to go, Relevant!

I've posted a couple of their articles here before that deal with the "small church" theology. In conversations I have gone on and on about "small church", often pointing to the way the church in Communist China is thriving, not in spite of - but because of - the persecution. Today, Relevant posted an article by R.C. Bachmann called Our Church Is Smaller! on their front page, and it blew me away. I write this post to recommend it to you. The cool thing about Relevant's articles is that they are barely a page long - so check it out.

Apparently, the Chinese government has actually gone so far as to authorize two choices for Christians - The Roman Catholic Church (for Catholics) and the Three-Self Patriotic Movement (for Protestants). It was even more interesting to hear that:

Not one of the people they encountered said they belonged to either of the authorized churches. Instead, nearly everyone answered that they were members of “house churches.”

“Aren’t house churches illegal?” my friend asked.

“Of course they are,” answered one Chinese Christian. “But the government leaves house churches alone as long as each one remains small. Apparently they do not think small churches are a threat.”

Later - as they are discussing what a typical Lord's Day looks like, he mentions:

“Our church is about 20 people. We tithe 10 percent of our income, and from that money we can rent an apartment that is used just for church. Two of the brothers get to the apartment early Sunday morning and begin too prepare a meal for the others.”

"Yeah, our church serves donuts and coffee, too,” my friend offered.

The Chinese brother smiled: “Well, this meal they prepare will be the biggest meal of the day. While they are cooking, brothers and sisters begin to show up one or two at a time. We all come at different times so as to avoid attracting attention.”

Their meeting lasts the entire day, and they leave just the same way they arrive - in groups of one or two - so as not to attract attention.

For all my going on about house-churches, and pointing toward the Chinese - it may be that what they have there can't be reproduced in America. Perhaps because of the hundreds of years of institutional religion, or because of the lack of persecution. But it sure does feel like home to me.

Currently Listening She Must and Shall Go Free By Derek Webb Track #10 - The Church

For those who might miss it...

( at tallskinnykiwi.com)

Who'da thunk it?

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.

Batman, the Dark Knight		92%
Maximus		75%
William Wallace		71%
Neo, the "One"		71%
Captain Jack Sparrow		67%
James Bond, Agent 007		67%
El Zorro		63%
Indiana Jones		58%
The Amazing Spider-Man		58%
Lara Croft		54%
The Terminator		50%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

T.H.H.H.A.A.

Word - holdin' it down in H-town. Sho 'nuff reppin' for the 281. Keepin it crunk in 2006 fo' da Lone Star State. Tonight was the 2006 Texas Holy Hip Hop Acheivement Awards, and yours truly, MC B0y1der, was in attendance. Artists from all over the U.S. walked the red carpet, performed, presented and accepted awards for Christian Hip-Hop. The event was held - I kid you not - at Copperfield Church, the church where I work. Another shining example that I have the greatest job ever, and that my church is willing to partner with, and open its doors to anyone who is reaching the community. You just wish you could have been there. No, seriously - I'm not kidding. It was quite a spectacle. Very, very surreal. My lead pastor, who we're now calling L-Dub Holy Ghost (and who is also whiter than an albino snowflake) presented an award alongside our perpetually hip worship pastor Ol' Dirty Austin Ryan.

Artists such as SoulFruit (who took home 4 awards), Educator, Govenor (not kidding), Nahledge, Tha Gim, Pettidee, Bigg Moose, Prblm Chyld, and DKUN FROST were all represented. Not to mention DJ Holy Ghost, DJ Millhouse, and DJ Stibs. The Atomic Dog, George Clinton of the Parliament Funkadelic, was supposed to be in the house as a presenter (rumor has it he's in Houston doing some community service), but I never saw the guy, and believe me - I looked (camera in hand). Two-time Boxing World Champion Reggie Johnson was on hand, and so was Big Mike - formerly of the Geto Boys (you remember them, right? My Mind Is Playin Tricks On Me?) - who delighted the crowd with a special performance.

The whole event was founded, put together, and made possible by the CEO of Much Luvv Records - Bobby Herring, A.K.A. Tre9 (pictured above). "Tre-nizzle", as we affectionately refer to him, is a great guy who I know because he actually goes to my church, and has been in attendance for several of our youth events. He even performed in Sunday School a few weeks back. I'm tellin' ya... crazy, our church is.

The after party for the event is currently being held in my youth room at the church. Here's hoping we can sort the place out before our regularly scheduled Sunday morning activities tomorrow.

Check out the site for the T.H.H.H.A.A. here.
I submit that you will not be disappointed.

My birthday... your one-week warning...

I got this year's first birthday present this past weekend. Abby got me this shirt with the guitar dudes on it - because I'm so metal. That's right - 100% METAL. If you can't read it - the first dude's guitar is saying "Shug Shug Shugga Shugga Shug", and the second dude's guitar is saying "Weedleha Weedleha Weedleha Weedleha Weedlehaweeeeee!" It's actually the perfect shirt. Just in case you've never seen the perfect shirt. Now you have. My second birthday present came from Mark just yesterday. It was a killer Petra Mixtape - okay, it was a CD - with a bonus track of us doing killer renditions of Every Rose Has Its Thorn and I Remember You. It made me weep like a girl. Good times, man. Just another example of how metal I am. METAL.

Anyways - my 29th birthday. June 19, 2006. 7 days. Consider yourself warned.

Rock is dead...

... long live Paper and Scissors!!
No, seriously.
The USA RPS League Championships - on A&E in about 2 minutes.
I'm giddy.

Like Homer would say...

"It's funny because it's true!"

Anybody notice....

...THIS?
What's up with that?

Film at 11!

(click for a larger version)

You know it

Toothpaste For Dinner

Order of Succession

Get your position here

Finally! I know my place in the world. Thanks to Chris Brannen, who works for me, and is, ironically, 4 people ahead of me in succession.

Emerjeans

Currently Reading The Secret Message of Jesus : Uncovering the Truth that Could Change Everything By Brian McLaren

Hilarious. I couldn't NOT post this. It's from Stephanie at Oh Me of Little Faith via tallskinnykiwi.

Good Friday

Went to the Service of Darkness tonight at Church. I love these services, and the way they force us to come face to face with the ugliness of Good Friday, so that Easter morning is that much more beautiful. As much as we would like, we cannot escape the sheer brutality of what happened that day. We cannot have Sunday's resurrection without Friday's crucifixion.

After the service I stuck around to walk through the Stations Of The Cross. It was incredibly moving. It reminded me of walking a Labyrinth. 7 artists in our church supplied 2 works of art each, to help illustrate the stations. There was a booklet with a picture of each piece, relevant verses of scripture, an explanation and a prayer for each station. The booklet also included descriptions by each artist of what inspired and motivated them to create each piece, and what they were thinking as they did, which I found most interesting of all. I was amazed at the level of talent within our congregation. I also really love the fact that my church places such a high emphasis on art in worship. Several stations offered opportunities for interaction. Station 2, when the cross is laid upon him had an actual cross for picking up, and feeling the weight. The stations where Christ fell (3,7 and 9) all had stones for you to kneel on, so you could feel the sensation of cobblestone or gravel on your knees. Station 8, where Christ meets the women of Jerusalem, and tells them not to weep, had tiny cups of salty water so you could taste their tears. Station 11, the Crucifixion, had a hammer, huge nails, and a piece of wood for you to nail into. I'm so proud of my church for offering an opportunity like this for the community. I think it would be great if we could leave them up all year long, but unfortunately we just don't have the room.

Tonight's experience made me wish I were more creative. I'm far too lazy. It also brought to mind something that's particularly appropriate for today, which we all might get a kick out of. I haven't read this in forever, but I thought i could include it here, for posterity.

The Gate
Inside the stony gateway awaits the anxious hoard.
They nervously anticipate the coming of the Lord.
Through the ancient doorway rides the only son of God,
To traverse the cobble roadway holy feet have yet to trod.
"Hosanna! Blessed is the king!" the master hears them say,
Bearing coats and branches that they lay down in His way.
He cries for them, and knows deep down inside for Him, their hate.
An ass's colt His mount as Jesus enters through the gate.

Now they wait, outside the gate, an angry mob this time,
To see the man condemned to die, though guilty of no crime.
A heavy cross upon His back, and beaten half to death,
He struggles up the muddy hill, gasping for a breath.
Though His burden's heavy, from the maddening crowd He hears
Streams of curses aimed at Him, blaspheming in His ears.
He knows His death is imminent, Golgotha will not wait.
In spite of this, He loved me still, while stumbling out the gate.

Hanging there upon a tree, His soul vacates it's shell,
Through the murky depths descends the catacombs of Hell.
Bound in chains the souls of those who died before the cross.
His holy ones will be redeemed, they shall not suffer loss.
Forgiving sin, the sacrifice, He died all souls to save.
Three days and nights His body lay, lifeless, in the grave.
He breaks the bonds and steals the keys to seal the tempter's fate.
Hell cannot prevail against this rock who stormed the gate.

A stranger to this world, I am - a pilgrim in this place.
My path is straight and narrow made because of Jesus' grace.
Atoned by substitution - Praise the Father! Praise the Son!
Praise the Holy Spirit - for it's nothing I have done.
My righteousness as filthy rags, I scarce can take it in.
Grace, like a bloody blanket, warms my heart and hides my sin.
Lord, should I falter and forget thy goodness, do not wait,
To take my hand and lead me to my home beyond the gate.

- Jason Thomas, 1991 (age 14)

How embarrassing.

BONUS: a prize for anybody who can tell me what that picture is from. I'll be your best friend, too.

Interpret THIS...

So, last night I had this dream. I dreamt I was in some kind of travelling theater company or something, and we had this play we were going around doing at different places. Next stop: Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, Michigan. Rob Bell's church. Naturally, the dream-me was super pumped up at the thought of being at the real-(dream)-life Mars Hill, and hearing Rob speak in person again. For whatever stupid dreamy reason, we arrived after their two morning services had already finished, and just in time for their last service of the weekend, on Sunday night, and would therefore not be hearing Rob after all - but would instead be the main event ourselves. I wandered around the building amidst the crowd of people, hoping to meet the man himself, when all of a sudden, here comes Rob Bell clad in a leather jacket and Ray-Ban shades, down the aisle toward the back of the room. He brushes right by me as I say, "It's really cool to meet you in pers- oh.. .nevermind then...".

My thirst for celebrity thoroughly quenched, I turn to see my fellow players coming toward me, asking where I've been, and pushing me toward the exit doors. Color me startled when I bump into someone on the way out, only to turn around and see something I never thought I would. My own grandfather, W.H. Rallinson Jr. (in extremely poor health of late), a man who hasn't darkened the doors of a church in decades, is standing there. Turns out he'd been commuting to West Michigan from Minden, Louisiana every weekend for years and years, and hadn't bothered to mention it to any of us. Looks like it took a church like Mars Hill to bring that man back around to God's side. I guess if there's any church that could do it - that's the one. He smiles a big smile, and we share a moment there because it's been a while since we've been together. Too long, we say.

Dumbstruck, I'm in even more trouble now because the curtain is about to go up, and I still don't know if we're doing Twelfth Night, or Twelve Angry Men, or what. End of dream.

Beats me what the heck it means. As I mentioned, my grandfather has been in very poor health lately, and I have not been for a visit in quite some time, what with the new job, new city, and all. There may be a bit of fear on my part that something unfortunate will happen to him before I have a chance to see him again - which is odd, because although I love him dearly, I've never really been sentimental about him. There was a sense when I woke up, not of joy because he was in church again after all this time, but of dread, because maybe his being at church meant that his time had finally come, somehow. Maybe on some level I feel guilty for not having seen him in so long (I missed his birthday again this year), and this is just my mind's way of expressing it. Or maybe, like Sigmund said, "A cigar is just a cigar."

Fair warning...

This Wednesday morning at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 a.m. in the morning - the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. This won't happen again until the year 3006.

So... I guess... make a wish. Or kiss somebody. Or take a picture. Or all of the above in any combination. Or - OR... you could just, you know... sleep.

In other news, you'll never guess what I did last night. Jr. high guy and I chose 10 names out of a hat, and invited those kids over to his house to watch Wrestlemania 22 on Pay-Per-View. Seriously? Wrestlemania? His idea. That's exactly the kind of event I would talk myself right out of. I guess it just figures that it was the most fun I've had at a youth event in a LONG time.

Number one with a bullet-point

It's J.T.'s 100th post extravaganza!!
In celebration of my hundredth post, may I present to you - bullet-points.

- It's halftime of the LSU/UCLA game, and things are not looking good for the Fightin' Tigers. That's okay, though - because our boys are no strangers to a point deficit - not for years. Anyway, I have confidence that even if they don't win this one - they can erase the 15 points that currently seperate them from UCLA. If they DO win, then look out Florida. No way you beat us twice in a row. Either way - Congratulations, guys. You played a great season, and got infinitely further than I ever figured. Your games vs. Texas A&M, Duke, and Texas provided me enough thrills to last me a long time. Can't wait until next year, when I'll tune in earlier in your season. GEAUX TIGERS!

- How about this week's LOST, huh? I'm still debriefing on that one. How about that map that Locke saw when the black light came on? Full of diagrams and Latin phrases. Well, for your edification, here are a couple of enhancements and translations of said map. I think you'll find them interesting.

(Click either one to enlarge)

- Anybody see those "The More You Know" PSA's done by the cast of The Office this past Thursday? Too funny, man. I'd embed the video of them here, but I'm a little gun shy right now, for reasons I'll mention in the next bullet point. Instead, you can find them right here on the NBC site. I think my favorites are the ones about calling your own fouls, and taping yourself having sex.

- So, a couple of days ago, I was checking the Stat-Tracker on this site, and saw a couple of visits from an unexpected place. The U.S. Department of Justice. A couple of weeks ago I linked to a video from youtube.com of the West Wing promo that showed Josh and Donna finally getting their kiss on. I'm not sure if maybe there's somebody in the D.O.J. who really enjoys TWW, and was checking out a several-weeks-old promo video on youtube on taxpayer time - or if the D.O.J. is issuing a round of fines and subpoenas for people who use video that's not theirs. You think I should be worried? I can't imagine NBC being upset about it, though. After all, I'm giving them for free what they would normally have to pay for. Right? Right?

I took the video down.

- GiGi is a lady at my church who runs the Journey Bookstore. She's the coolest, really. Always makes me smile. Periodically on Thursday nights, the bookstore hosts a special lecture, or teaching on specific subjects. A while back, GiGi asked me to do one on some Jewish traditions, or something... I forget exactly. That kind of pumped me up, because we all know how I love the Jews, and their traditions. I guess I let that one slide a little bit, b/c she came back to me with a different idea, and this time - she brought dates. She asked me to do a lesson on De-bunking the Da Vinci Code. Now, I gotta be really honest here. I've never even read the Da Vinci Code. I'm not even all that sure it needs to be de-bunked. I'm not even sure what bunk is, or if the Da Vinci Code contains any. What if I read the book, and really enjoy it? That's not outside the realm of possibility. I'm actually kind of excited about the movie that's coming out. Well, GiGi is not the kind of lady that you can say no to. So, here I am - de-bunking scheduled for the end of April. I guess I'm looking forward to it.

- Brian McLaren's new book, The Secret Message Of Jesus is out. That pretty much means that all my other reading (after the Da Vinci Code is done, of course) will get put on hold. Blissfully on hold.

- By the way - if you read this, and you're on MySpace and haven't found me yet, look me up. www.myspace.com/b0y1der

Well, that's all I got. How's that for a 100th post? I could probably have covered all of those if I had bothered to post at all in the last couple of weeks.

J.T. out!